One Life
by Mmoirai
Summary: *COMPLETE* Rin has grown into a lovely young woman with a deep desire for her great Lord. Sesshoumaru has an ancient promise to fulfill but is batteling emotions for his human ward that threaten to get in the way.
1. Chapter 1

08/14/05

A/N: I do not own Inuyasha or its characters.

**Prologue: **

Deep in the darkness far below the surface of the ground, the evil was awoken from its slumber.

"Master?" a garbled, snarling voice implored from the darkness.

Ryuukotsusei has failed! The treaty has been placed in motion and…and…" The voice stammered. "And the demon lord's heir still lives!" The voice quivered with fear.

"Kill him." The voice of evil commanded. "And if you return before it is done, you will die." It added before it slipped back into slumber.

"Y…Yes Master." The garbled voice gulped with fear in a near whisper as it retreated from the chamber.

Later…..

The dark chamber was interrupted again as, this time, flames burst through the door. The sleeping demon roused ready to attack and slaughter the insignificant fool who dared disturb him. Instead, however, he found himself pinned by a powerful force to his sleeping pad. The body of the simpering vassal, who had brought him the news earlier, fell burnt to a crisp, to the hard, cold floor.

"You have failed. Prepare for death." Said a voice of such detached calm that 'evil' could not begin to describe it.

The grip on the demon's throat tightened cutting off his breathing.

"A plan!" He choked trying to explain something before his windpipe was crushed.

The grip loosened though it did not let go.

"Please M'Lord! Please! I have a plan! It will just take a little time and patience!" the grip tightened again.

"Ahhh!…double your…double…gasp…you will…Ahhh!...gasp…have all!" the grip loosened.

"I'm listening." said the cold voice.

The great troll demon lord who was feared by all quickly rambled off his plan, gasping for air, and trembling with fear. The intruder's maniacal laughter began to echo throughout the chamber and all through the underground corridors.

**Chapter One: Memories**

FLASH

"Do not do this!" his mother's voice sobbed from somewhere far away, begging his father. "Look at what it has done to us! Look at what it has done to you!"

"There is no other way!" his father responded gruffly. "It is already decided."

FLASH

His closest friend stood before him sobbing brokenheartedly, her face in her hands. He had wanted to ease her troubled heart, but he had no clue how to go about it. He took her hands from her face and squeezed them lightly as tears flowed freely down her face. Taking a deep breath, she looked at him with bright hazel eyes that glowed with brilliant green flecks and nodded.

FLASH

His father was dead! He had been killed in the battle that had merely put his enemy, Ryuukotsusei, in a dormant state. His mother had died many years before that, and now he was truly alone in the world. The all consuming desire for vengeance flooded his heart. It was in every breath he took. He would need strength. He would need power.

FLASH

It had been over a century since his father's demise and he had inherited of all of his father's estates, territories, and the title 'Lord of the Western Lands." His pathetic half brother had somehow managed to succeed in killing Ryuukotsusei. The panther demon tribes were no longer enemies though they were still not allies. He no longer felt the hatred he had so long ago. He no longer felt anything. All he wanted was to expand his territories and to become a power such that none would ever dare to challenge. All who would oppose him would die!

FLASH

He gave one last powerful blow with his mighty sword Toukijin, and the bothersome half demon Naraku, who had tried to manipulate him, died with a pitiful wail.

"NNNOOOooo!"

Hundreds of smaller demons suddenly began to form from the toxic miasma that had been Naraku. He merely turned and began to walk away.

"I leave the rest to Tetsusaiga." He said to his half brother who looked on with his usual stupid look of astonishment on his face. He could hear his half brother's war cry as he walked deeper into the forest, and then felt the awesome power of the great fang in the air.

"WINDSCAR!"

FLASH

_Laughter!_ He remembered that.

_Companionship!_ He remembered that.

_Friendship, devotion, innocence, joy, curiosity, fascination, imagination! _He suddenly remembered all these things. They all flooded back into his heart through a pair of dazzling hazel eyes.

_Love…?_ NO! NEVER!

Sesshoumaru's golden eyes snapped open. His heart was pounding as the flashes of his dreams faded. Already he could not even remember them.

He looked down from where he was perched in the branches of the tall tree to his sleeping entourage. The camp was quiet. The darkness of night surrounded them and a small circle of light from the campfire warmed the three on the ground. He rubbed his newest arm absentmindedly, it having finally regenerated completely only a few years ago, as his gaze fell on the tossing human girl. He could sense she was still awake.

Rin was eight years old when she died. She was eight years old when she truly began to live. The young woman lay in front of the crackling camp fire trying to quiet her mind and allow sleep to take her, but memories were flooding her thoughts. She barely remembered her ningen parents or brothers now. Strangely the fading memories didn't bother her so much anymore. It had been so long ago that they had been killed. It had been another lifetime ago. She guessed her age to be about eighteen now, but she remembered coming upon _him_ as though it happened only yesterday. She stared into the fire as she thought back to the day, nearly a decade ago, when she first encountered Lord Sesshoumaru.

_She had been out in the forest looking for food when she had come across the glade he was in. She hid in the bushes and peaked out through the branches inspecting him. He had been sleeping she supposed. Though she had never seen a demon, she was sure he must be one because he was too beautiful to be human. His hair was the palest color of silver moonlight and he had crimson stripes down both sides of his face over his high cheek bones. He wore a white kimono that she was sure was made of the finest fabric and it had intricate designs on the collar indicating a high status. He was lying on a cloak of pure white fur. He was injured badly she was sure, because of the blood that stained his torn kimono and the scraps and bruises on his face. His breathing was ragged and she was sure he was near death. _

_She had slowly emerged from her hiding place to get a closer look and just as she approached him his eyes were suddenly open. He snarled at her with glowing red eyes and sharp threatening fangs, but just as suddenly as he had begun his attack, he had stopped and was then just sitting there looking at her with big golden eyes. He looked her up and down, starred at her, taking her in, and then he slowly lowered himself back to the ground, eyelids heavy. She watched as he battled for consciousness and finally lost. She remembered being relieved that he had regained consciousness even for a short time. Maybe he would not die. She felt sorry for him. He looked so helpless there asleep, unable to fight, to protect himself from intruders. She had the feeling that he was hiding, or at least that he did not wish for his resting place to be known. She was struck with the urge to protect him, to please him. He was an outsider and all alone…like her!_

Rin blinked coming out of the memory. The campfire was warm, but she still shivered. Another memory filled her thoughts.

_She opened her eyes to look up into his startled golden eyes and found herself cradled in his embrace. Sudden images of blood thirsty wolves tearing at her flesh terrorized her thoughts, but when she looked into his eyes and felt his arm around her, the fear was gone. Her little body ached! She was alive! But, she had been dead! She was sure of it! And now here she was alive! Here he was! Relief rushed through her. She had been running to him, had been trying to get to him and warn him when she had been brought down by the wolves. They hadn't reached him! They hadn't hurt him! Joy filled her heart as she looked at him! He put her on her feet and it was only then that she noticed the little toad demon standing in front of her, mouth gaping, his big bulging yellow eyes darting back and forth from her to her master. Yes, her master. Her lord and master. Where ever he would go was where she would follow. At that moment she was his!_

Rin blinked again. That had been so long ago. She had been loyally following and serving Lord Sesshoumaru along side Master Jaken and Ah-Un for about ten years now. Restlessly, Rin turned over onto her side letting the fire's warmth soak in and she slipped into another memory.

_They had roamed the countryside for over a year after she joined Lord Sesshoumaru's entourage. They patrolled Lord Sesshoumaru's lands during the day and set up camp in the evenings. She had been abducted and saved, met the Lord's horrid brother, met Kohaku, Kagome, and even met the leader of the wolf demon tribe that had killed her. She never once asked what they were doing or where they were going. The truth was that she didn't care what they did or where they went as long as she could be with him. She even grew to respect Master Jaken and his friendship for that matter, and as long as she was with them she had never been afraid. _

_But, when they had traveled through a particularly haunting piece of forest and emerged on the western most tip of the land she had been scared! Before them was the most breathtaking sight imaginable. They looked down from a high hill that stretched out to the west. Grass turned to sand and sand met the crashing waves of the sea. They looked down the grassy hillside into a beautiful palace that sat at the edge of the sandy beach. There were several buildings connected buy lovely porches all surrounded by a thick looking sturdy wall. To the south was a humble cottage nestled at the edge of the trees. To the north was another beautiful hillside with thick green grass speckled with yellow and a large stable, which Ah-Un lumbered off towards. _

_Master Jaken was positively giddy with excitement and quickly asked for permission to retreat to the humble little cottage to the south and then bowing respectfully he scurried off chanting "Ah! Home, Home, Home!" _

_What! Home! She turned startled eyes to her master. He was walking across the vast field towards the main house. _

_This must be his home! What was she supposed to do now? Where was she to go? _

_She starred at Sesshoumaru-sama's white form gliding down the hill and then glanced nervously in the direction Jaken had disappeared. Her heart seized and she stood there, alone, not knowing what to do. She looked back in Lord Sesshoumaru's direction. He had stopped a short distance down the hill and stood, unmoving, with his back to her. After a moment he turned his head ever so slightly. Her heart skipped a full beat! He was waiting for her to follow! _

_She obediently caught up to him and let out the breath she held in pure relief. He led her through the main house, down a hall, and stopped at a door sliding it open. His voice came to her gently in his deed timber. _

"_You may stay here if you wish." He did not wait for her reply. He was just gone. _

_The room was surprisingly spacious with the barest pieces of furniture and there was a big window letting in the cheerful sunlight. She could see the sea and hear the waves rolling onto the beach. She was home._

Rin blinked again and sighed softly as the memory faded. She missed her cozy room in the master's house, but she was never willing to stay behind when he and Jaken went on patrol. Every few months for the past 10 years they would depart to explore his territory. Sometimes Lord Sesshoumaru would have to kill an intruding demon or two who thought to take up residence and cause trouble in his lands, but more often than not, their wanderings were peaceful, most demons too scarred to even think of challenging the powerful demon-lord of the west. The fire popped cheerily and continued to bath her in its warmth as she thought about her life with Lord Sesshoumaru. Not long after she had taken up residence in his home, she found herself with several demon tutors keeping her days busy and her mind occupied. She remembered overhearing Master Jaken grumbling to Lord Sesshoumaru about her studies soon after they began.

"_But this human is a waste of time and knowledge! He squawked! _

"_Why spend the time, energy, and expense on a skinny little ningen?"_

"_Would you rather keep her occupied yourself, Jaken?" Lord Sesshoumaru had asked the little toad, an elegant eyebrow raised in question. _

And so Master Jaken was given the task to teaching her to read and write and to understand social etiquette. Master Harue taught her to hunt and forage, and Mistress Mori taught her to prepare and cook food. It didn't take long before she was pouring over the scrolls in Lord Sesshoumaru's library and getting bored in the kitchen. In just over a year she was teasing Master Jaken constantly again and chattering and asking questions to no end.

It was then that Master Myoga began teaching her the history of their great land, as well as the geography of it. He also taught her to read the stars. Master Yashahiro taught her to meditate and to calm her mind and spirit, and about the different gods and different beliefs throughout the land. Another year went by and Lord Sesshoumaru commissioned Mistress Nagisa to teach her sewing, weaving, pottery, and drawing. He also commissioned Mistress Uta to teach her to play the flute.

Rin found after another two years had gone by, she no longer needed Master Jaken to continue her reading or writing lessons and she had become a master tracker and cook. She, herself, had begged Lord Sesshoumaru to allow her to replace these lessons with a hunting technique called falconry. Lord Sesshoumaru had merely raised an eyebrow at her request. A few days later Mistress Suzume was introduced to Rin and she began Falconry and Archery lessons. When Rin was about 16 years old, Lord Sesshoumaru introduced her to Master Kenta who began teaching her about different healing herbs and methods. She was also introduced to Master Kane. He was her combat, defense, and weapons tutor. He was also a very young and very handsome demon. Like her Lord Sesshoumaru.

And so it was that Rin had been kept very busy throughout her years with Lord Sesshoumaru. She spent her free time drying flowers and collecting shells. She spent evenings sitting by the fire in the main house with Lord Sesshoumaru or curled up at his feet with a book in the library. Sometimes they sat outside in the garden and looked up at the stars. He spoke very little, but she chattered enough for the both of them. When Lord Sesshoumaru announced that it was time for him to patrol his lands, Rin would simply be ready and waiting to follow when he departed.

The years rolled by and Rin grew and matured. Her body went through many physical changes and it had been when her monthly bleeding started that she noticed Lord Sesshoumaru tending to purposefully keep his distance from her. It was also around that time that she found herself drawn to her strong silent lord as more than just her protector. She found her thoughts filled with him. His scent, his eyes, his voice! She hated to be away from him and dreamed of him when they were apart. She wanted to please him and make him happy. She wanted him to be proud of her. She fantasized about him touching her and found her body writhing with a longing that threatened to drive her mad. But most of all, she wanted him to return her love. She knew at a very young age that he despised humans and that she, being a human, had no chance of ever feeling the radiance of his love, so she contented herself with his tolerance.

Rin finally succumbed to sleep thinking of her Lord Sesshoumaru.


	2. Chapter 2

08/14/05

A/N: I do not own Inuyasha or its characters.

**Chapter Two: Heart's Desire: **

A sound in the woods woke her from her slumber. Rin looked over at Jaken who was still fast asleep and then out into the woods where she thought she heard the sound come from. She seemed to be drawn to the darkness of the trees and felt as though she was being watched. _What was it? _She climbed out of her bed roll and slowly made her way into the beckoning trees. She moved further and further into the woods looking around and listening for any sign of what had woken her, careful not to make any noise herself. Nothing. She looked up through the trees into the sky and sighed, drawing her arms around herself and shivered.

"Are you cold?" a deep masculine voice whispered behind her.

Rin whirled around in surprise and found herself looking up into the golden honey eyes of Lord Sesshoumaru himself. He was so close she could smell his woodland scent and feel the heat of his body. He wasn't wearing his armor, but just his kimono, which was open and showing off his sculpted chest. It was as though the night had allowed him to shed his unfeeling outer mask and he seemed relaxed, almost peaceful. She gasped in surprise and began to back away, but he reached for her grabbing her arm and pulling her to him. His other arm slipped around her waist and held her firmly against his hard body.

"Let me warm you." He huskily purred into her ear and began to trail soft kisses up her neck.

His lips were like fire on her skin burning a hot path up her throat. Her heart hammered in her chest and she began to shiver more, but this time from pure desire. _What's gotten into him? What's going on? By the gods how I've wanted this though! _She tilted her head back softly moaning, unable to control herself. At her little noise he roughly pushed her hard up against the nearest tree covering her body with his. She gasped again as waves of desire rolled through her body. A growl reverberated through the air softly as he lowered his face to hers, his lips parting slightly. Her eyes drifted closed and she wrapped her free arm around his neck, her other still held in his iron grip. Her lips parted, ready for his kiss and…….

And Rin's eyes snapped open at the sound of the camp fire popping and cracking. _It was just a dream!_ Her heart was pounding and she was drenched in sweat! That wasn't all though. She suddenly remembered her dream and that throbbing place between her legs throbbed still harder! But the most startling thing of all was that she was staring straight into the golden eyes that had haunted her dream! Lord Sesshoumaru crouched low to the ground across the fire starring at her, his eyes locked with hers. He looked almost angry! She blinked and he was gone! She sat up and looked around. _I know he was there! What was he doing? Why did he look at me like that? Ugh!_ Rin lay there for the rest of the night trying to regain control of herself. Her body ached and quivered with a need that she didn't understand but somehow knew Lord Sesshoumaru was the only one who could satisfy it.

Sesshoumaru sat in the sturdy branches of the tall tree above the camp and looked down at his ward. She had tossed for quite a while before he heard her heartbeat slowing and she finally drifted off to sleep. She had grown into a rather lovely young woman. She was about 18 human years he guessed. She had come into her cycle some four years ago and he had been careful to avoid her around her time of the month. The scent she gave off during that time rather puzzled him because it distracted him so much and he didn't like the feeling. Now she was old enough to mate and have pups of her own. His gaze trailed down the length of her. She had thick glossy waves of black hair and full pink lips. Her almond shaped eyes, he knew, were a deep hazel that sparkled with laughter all the time and her skin was as smooth as cream despite the time she spent in the sun. She had long slim legs and she had also developed curves in all the right places. She was petite and fit and the parts of her body that were viewable were well toned. She was utterly feminine in every sense of the word, and she commanded his attention more and more of late. At that moment he heard her murmur something in her sleep. _Did she just say my name?_ He jumped silently down from his perch to the ground and crouched low to get a better look at her. She lay with her sheet stripped away. Her sleeping clothes were damp with sweat and her hair was fanned out around her. Her brow was slightly creased and her lips were parted. Her breathing was ragged and heavy and he could hear her heart pounding. His gaze raked across the perfect swells of her breasts raising and falling with her breath. He would have thought her in distress, but what suddenly distracted him the most was that now, in her sleep, she was giving off the most erotic and intoxicating scent he had ever smelled, and it was not her normal hint of cherry blossoms. She smelled of strong sexual tension and energy!

_Damn she smells so….so…she smells irresistible!_ His blood seemed to come alive and coarse through his veins. He felt a sudden and very powerful longing to wake her and thoroughly ravish her, to make her cry out his name! Sesshoumaru blinked at the thought, stunned and angered at his body's response to her.

_So you desire a human female now? Control yourself! This Sesshoumaru will not be tempted by a human! Ever! _He blinked again at that thought. It had been decades since he had felt desire for anything other than for attaining power and expanding his great territory.

Just then, Rin's eyes snapped open and her gaze locked with his. His heart gave a quick jerk at having been caught starring at her. She blinked her lovely eyes, seemingly in a daze and he took the opportunity to vanish from her sight. He reappeared in the woods some distance away and leaned against a tree letting the cool night air surround him. He took a deep calming breath and let it out slowly. He could feel his entire body actually shaking with restraint, and his heart felt as though it would beat its way out of his chest any moment. This new feeling, this longing that he had not given his body or heart permission to feel made him angry.


	3. Chapter 3

08/14/05

A/N: I do not own Inuyasha or its characters.

**Chapter Three: The Power of a Kiss **

The rest of their journey was a quiet one. Lord Sesshoumaru said next to nothing and pushed them extra hard to get home. Rin was still not sure if she had actually seen Lord Sesshoumaru that night and she certainly wasn't about to ask him, and he, for his part, wasn't volunteering any information or giving off any tell tale signs at all. So she trailed behind his tall elegant form not wanting to even look at him. She couldn't wait to be home so that she could leave him to his solitude and work out her own embarrassing new feelings.

Sesshoumaru spent the rest of that confusing night and all of the rest of the journey in silence, brooding over what should be done, and preferring not to even look at his young ward. He kept them moving at a steady pace, eager to be home and alone again. His thoughts turned to her sweet scent for what seemed to be the hundredth time that day. Thankfully it held no traces of the intoxicating scent she had given off in her sleep, but her usual cherry blossom scent was still distracting him much more than usual. He could not, no, _would_ not be distracted by a human. Not now, when the treaty between the Northern lands and his own was about to be signed and sealed. It was an important alliance that he, and his father before him, had worked very hard to achieve and he couldn't afford to have any distractions. It was quickly becoming quite clear to him that they would have to find a new way of existing together, or that she would soon have to be made to leave.

Indeed, he had allowed her to follow him since the day he revived her for no other reason than that her life belonged to him now. She belonged to him. But he had always allowed her to do as she pleased. He had never forced her to follow and she had been given many opportunities to leave on her own and take up a normal human existence, but she had always chosen life with him. But now she was becoming a distraction that he never would have considered being on guard for. Perhaps it was time to find her a suitable mate to settle her with.

He turned his head lightly to look at her from the corner of his eye. Although she seemed rather pensive today, she was usually very cheerful and talkative. She expressed every emotion she felt openly and she was quick witted and loved a good game. She had always entertained him greatly and he found her presence calming most of the time, though he would never admit it out loud. Whoever he chose would have to appreciate her happy, playful disposition. He would have to also appreciate how quick minded she was. Yes, she was far more intelligent than just an ordinary human. The thought of some disgusting, foul, smelly, stupid human male touching Rin made him suddenly growl involuntarily. No! No ordinary human was good enough for her. Perhaps a decent male demon would consider her. As much as he disliked the thought of mating with a human himself, there were plenty out there who did not object to the practice. Yes, a demon. Who ever he chose would have to be gentle and considerate as well. That might be an issue with a demon. He would start making inquires as soon as they got home.

Dusk was on them when they finally emerged from the dense forest and looked down at their home. Rin walked up and stood beside Sesshoumaru to look down the hill towards the sea. He looked down at her noting that her height had reached his shoulder now, and she stood very tall and proud beside him. The sky was already glowing with warm lazy pinks and oranges as the sun began to set and her eyes danced with pleasure at the sight. He found that he was unable to look away from her, pride swelling in his heart as he looked at her. Whoever he chose for her would de a _very_ lucky demon.

"M'lord, may I be excused?" Jaken's giddy voice asked.

Sesshoumaru blinked, and turned his head slightly and gave the imp a single nod. With that, the toad demon giggled singing his usual "Home, Home, Home, at last" song. Ah-Un nudged Rin indicating he was ready to be taken to the stable to be unsaddled. Sesshoumaru looked at Rin one more time as he drew his power into himself and evaporated.

"Let's go Ah-Un." Rin spoke to the two headed dragon as she crawled into the saddle and they headed to the stables.

Sesshoumaru re-materialized in his extensive library and study. He wasted no time in drafting several letters of inquiry to be sent out to various territories.

_Lord/Lady xxxxxx,_

_I am in search of a suitable demon match for my ward, the young mistress Rin. As she is a mortal, she is in need of someone strong and of suitable power. I offer a full chest of demon gold pieces every year for the rest of her life, a ten acre plot of land in my territory, water rights, and my protection for the rest of her life. Prospective suitors must set up an audience with my steward no later than a full month's time from now._

_Sesshoumaru,_

_Lord of the Western Lands_

He quickly sealed each letter with his crest and headed for Jaken's hut to have the imp send them off. For some reason his hands were shaking and he had an empty feeling in the pit of his stomach. Images of Rin laying by the campfire, the irresistible scent of her arousal strong and intoxicating in the air flashed through his mind and he willed them away angrily.

After Rin had finished with Ah-Un she made her way, not to the palace, but towards the beach. There was a little of the sunset yet to catch and she needed to feel the calm of the sea breeze on her face. She suddenly felt the urge to run, to release some pent up energy that suddenly bubbled to the surface. She took off down the path to the beach relishing the feel of the wind and the release of all of this restless energy. She slowed to a walk and took a few deep cleansing breaths and just as she turned the corner she stopped in her tracks finding the path before her blocked by an obstacle she had forgotten about.

"Master Kane!" Rin smiled and greeted the Tiger Demon standing in her path trying to swallow her surprise and annoyance at the unexpected intrusion. Her breath still caught at the sight of her Swords Master though. He had always been beautiful to look at. He stood tall with his legs slightly spread and muscular arms crossed over his broad chest. His vivid burnt orange hair fell in a long ponytail down his back and swirled slightly in the wind. His skin glowed a rich bronze in the fading sunlight and he had two black stripes down each cheek bone, a black diamond on his forehead, a black triangle above and below each eye, and two more stripes across his throat on each side. He was tall and well toned and he positively radiated masculinity. He stood before her now with a slight frown on his face, vibrant green eyes starring down at her.

"Well?" He asked raising a bushy red eyebrow at her.

"Well what?" She asked avoiding his gaze. She tried to push past him.

_Please don't ask me!_ She whimpered in her mind.

"Rin! You have had three weeks to consider my proposal! Why have you not come back with an answer?"

_Because I was hoping you would forget or give up! _Her mind responded.

"Kane, please, can't we just remain as friends? She pleaded aloud.

A flash of anger flared across his features and just as quickly was gone.

"Why do you continue to refuse me? I am the cousin of the Mistress of the Northern lands and am a very powerful demon. I am prepared to make you my life mate! Do you not wish for a powerful match?" He stepped aside lowering his arms to allow her to continue down the path and walked beside her.

"Kane, I'm not in love with you!" Rin tried to reason with the young demon lord. They had had this discussion before.

"That will not matter when I have marked you as my mate. You will love me! You'll be happy!" He blew off her reasoning with the same response he gave every time she brought the subject of love up.

She frowned in puzzlement. How could he ask her to consider marrying when he knew she didn't love him? Why would he want to spend his life, or rather her life since she would die long before him, with someone who didn't love him. And to assume that she would feel differently after marriage was just absurd!

"He will never want you as I do. Give up your foolish hope." Kane said in a low, quiet voice filled with frustration.

She blinked in surprise and felt the blush rising in her cheeks. "I don't know what you are talking about!"

He stopped suddenly, grabbing her arm and pulling her to him. His lips were dangerously close to hers as their eyes locked.

"I know what you feel for him. I can sense it whenever he is near you. He senses it too, you know. You can't hide your feelings or lie to a demon."

She lowered her eyes at this, her blush growing more intense.

_Great Gods! Does Lord Sesshoumaru really know how I feel about him! I'm going to die of embarrassment next time I see him! But still, if Kane is right! Lord Sesshoumaru never let on that he knew. Why not? It must not even matter to him._

"Give up your insane hope and let me have a chance." Kane growled, lowering his face to hers and softly brushed his lips across hers. Power rippled over her at the feathery touch and she jerked back. He was beginning to frighten her.

_Did he just…kiss me…? Was that my first kiss? No…it couldn't have been! It felt so...so...wrong!_

"Kane, please don't…" She tried to break away from him but his grip on her tightened and he roughly pulled her back to him and locked his arms around her.

"No! You will at least give me this much satisfaction! I will show you that I have more to offer you than he does!"

He lowered his face to hers and pressed his lips to hers fiercely. Struggling only seemed to arouse him more, so she froze, squeezing her eyes shut and hoping that he would soon get bored with her. Power hummed in the air and she felt it swirling around them. Her thoughts became hazy and she found herself rather liking the feel of his kiss. She tilted her head back just a little. What was it she had been thinking? She couldn't remember. A wave of desire washed over her as another ripple of power caressed her. He flicked his tongue across her lips.

_Stop! This isn't right! You don't love him! STOP! _She could faintly hear someone in the recesses of her mind shrieking at her.

Kane probed her lips with his tongue seeking entrance, and her skin began to tingle with the intensity of the power flowing around them.

_What's happening to me? _She wondered, but just as the question formed in her mind he let out a warm tantalizing breath across her lips that sent a shiver through her body, her question forgotten. Just as she was about to part her lips giving in to his kiss, another force ripped them apart. This force was a solid, powerful, purely physical, and very angry Lord Sesshoumaru!


	4. Chapter 4

08/14/05

A/N: I do not own Inuyasha or its characters.

**Chapter Four: Life Mates **

Lord Sesshoumaru was very clearly enraged! His eyes glowed a deep blood red and his fangs had elongated to sharp points that could be seen as he snarled. His silver hair swirled about him as his own power crackled in the air swallowing up Kane's completely. Lord Sesshoumaru had grabbed her wrist pulling her roughly aside and had hurled Kane several feet into the crashing waves. Rin blinked, still almost drunken with Lord Kane's seduction.

Lord Kane struggled to his feet in the water, dripping from head to toe, and glared at Lord Sesshoumaru. His eyes too had gone red.

"She will be mine, Sesshoumaru!" Kane growled aggressively as he began to lower into a crouch, ready to attack, but before he could make his move, a stinging whip of lightning lashed out at him from Lord Sesshoumaru's fingertips and knocked him back into the water. He sputtered and hissed as he got to his knees in the foamy waves.

"So be it! I will take her by force! You do not deserve her!" Kane barked at Lord Sesshoumaru.

"The next time I see you, I will kill you." Lord Sesshoumaru stated in his matter of fact manner, but there was a more harsh quality to it to match his appearance. He stood perfectly still, silver strands of silky hair flowing about him in the crackling power that was seeping off of him. Rin's wrist was still firmly gripped in one fist, his other hand poised casually in the air, ready for another attack. His blood red gaze consumed Kane and never faltered.

Kane's eyes drained back to their emerald color and he leaned back in the water, sitting on his heels, his shoulders slumping in acknowledged defeat.

Rin blinked again looking up at her infuriated master in shock and confusion.

_What's going on here? And how could Master Kane think to be so disrespectful to Sesshoumaru-sama!_

But before she could voice her question she was jerked to a half run as Lord Sesshoumaru turned and began to walk away, dragged her back up the path towards the palace.

"Sessh….Sesshoumaru-sama! Please! You're hurting me!" She pleaded helplessly as her wrist began to burn in his acid grasp.

He pulled her into the main house and proceeded down the hall, but rather than turn towards her room where she figured he was taking her, he turned towards his own quarters. They reached his rooms and he roughly tossed her through the doorway spilling her unceremoniously onto the floor. He entered after her and turned to the door sliding it closed. He remained facing the door standing completely still. Gripping her injured wrist, Rin looked up at her angry master's form.

_The arrogant, weak, brainless tiger dared to insult my house! How dare he presume to even touch what is mine! How could she even consider the tiger as a mate! He is not good enough for her by even half!_

"He did not ask my permission! I will be the one to choose your mate!" He whispered harshly.

…_choose my mate? _Rin blinked in confusion.

"M'lord, I don't understand." But before she could say anything else he whirled around dropping to his knees before her and grabbing her.

"Do you not know what he was doing?" He growled out, golden eyes flashing in anger.

_How could she not know! Does she desire Kane? Is she ready to leave this Sesshoumaru so soon! _He wanted to shake her and order her never to even think of Kane again!

"He…he was kissing me…it was just a kiss!" She stammered, hurt by his anger at her.

"He was about to mark you with the first mark! He did not ask permission! How dare he presume to even look at you! You are mine until I decide…!" Lord Sesshoumaru snapped his mouth closed biting off his words. He had said too much. He needed to calm himself now!

Rin could hardly believe what she had just heard! _His! Until he decides… what? What am I to him anyway? I am no use, and he does not love me! What good am I to him? What purpose do I serve? Am I just an object? A possession that he may tire of and discard whenever he chooses? _It was these thoughts that had almost made her accept Kane when he had first proposed.

She was starring up at him with a stunned expression on her face, still gripping her injured wrist, tears welling up in her hazel eyes and her lips trembling. He could sense her heart beat and smell the salt of her tears. She didn't smell of fear though. She smelled of sadness. His own heart jerked.

Startled by his sudden and very uncharacteristic outburst she stammered.

"I didn't know. I'm sorry. It's my fault! He wanted to come to you weeks ago, but I told him not to!" She lowered her eyes to the floor and allowed the tears to fall. "I didn't know that I didn't have a choice in the matter." She whispered so weakly that Sesshoumaru's demon ears barely picked up the words.

_Wait a minute! Weeks ago! Just what has been going on around here?_

He let her go and in one fluid motion stood and moved to stand at the window. The sun was gone now and darkness was falling. He could still hear the waves of the ocean though. He took several calming breaths closing his eyes. Her cherry blossom scent came to his nose, overpowering the sickening scent of her tears.

"Have none of your studies included mating rituals?" His voice had calmed to its normal bored tone.

"Yes M'lord." She whispered, heat rising to her damp cheeks at the subject. "But all my lessons have been on human mating. Master Jaken didn't feel it necessary to go into detail about any of the demon rituals since I am just a human." She said meekly.

Sesshoumaru let out a silent sigh of frustration. _Jaken will pay._ He didn't want to explain this to her! He didn't even want to think about the mating rituals! More than that, he just didn't want his thoughts filled with intimate details when her scent was so sweet and inviting! But if he was to find her a demon mate, then she would need to know what was to come.

He remembered the sudden wave of jealousy that had punched him in the stomach at the sight of her in the other male's arms. But that jealousy turned to rage when he felt Kane's power fill the air as they kissed. He would not stand by while Kane gave her the first mark! She was _His_! No! That mark would steal her affection from him and he was not ready to give her up just yet! He had reacted without thinking.

Another thought entered his mind. She had defended the tiger, taking the blame for Kane not asking his permission to take her as his mate '_weeks ago_.' She had not said anything about refusing the tiger demon's advances either, and he had no clue what had been going on between the two! Images of secret kisses and soft caresses flashed through his imagination. He remembered the intoxicating scent she had been giving off that night on their journey and wondered if it had been dreams of Kane that inspired her arousal. His blood began to boil with this cruel jealousy that was so new to his veins.

_Stop it!_ He commanded his mind and body to be still.

Rin sat on the floor where she had been dumped and looked around while her master stood in quiet contemplation. She had never been in his rooms before and she took a moment to look around as she wiped her tears from her face.

It was a large comfortable room. There was a door at the back of the room and she wondered where it led to. His furniture was all a deep rich mahogany and there were several rugs adorning the wooden floor. Tapestries woven in rich colors hung on the walls depicting great battle scenes, each with a huge dog-demon in it. She wasn't sure, but she did not think that the demon on the tapestries was Lord Sesshoumaru. _His father?_ His bed was what drew most of her attention though. It was sunken into the floor and was very wide. It was made up of huge pillows and silk sheets all in dark reds. She blushed as she imagined her Lord Sesshoumaru laying in those sheets, his pale skin and silver hair in bright contrast to the dark sheets. She could feel the warmth of desire beginning to spread through her and she shivered.

Lord Sesshoumaru turned suddenly and starred at her. His expression blank as usual.

_Gods! It's true! He can sense my feelings!_

He looked down at her, taking in her changing scent and rapid heart beat. She sat on his bedroom floor looking up at him with big, lustrous hazel eyes, her cheeks streaked with tears, and lips kiss swollen. Her dark, wild hair hung about her shoulders in soft waves of silk. _Kane's kiss has affected her greatly! Gods she smells so good! _He tore his gaze from her forcing himself to calm down and tried to block out her scent. He needed to be as far away from her as possible before he forgot himself.

"Go sit over there." He commanded, pointing at his bed. He moved about the darkening room and lit a few candles before settling himself on the floor hidden in the shadows against the far wall opposite his bed. The orange candle light flickered and glowed giving the darkening room a warm, mysterious, and rather intimate feel.

She did as she was told and as soon as she was comfortable he began. Her heart skipped a beat as she soaked in the sound of his deep voice. She never heard him speak this much!

"Strong female demons have always been scarce since it is most common for demons to produce male offspring. Needless to say, there is much competition between males for the favor of a desired female. Demon unions are rarely formed in love, demons being more power oriented than driven by emotion. They are mostly political unions. The marks are nature's way of sealing life mates to each other throughout the centuries of their lifespan ensuring a pure bloodline. The marking rituals are as old as time itself and strong male demons perform them by instinct. There are, however, formalities that must be observed! First, the male gets the consent of the strongest male in the female's bloodline, and then that consenting male confirms the union with his own power, a sort of seal of approval. If this is not done, then it is looked on as a disrespectful challenge." He swallowed the angry growl forming low in his throat. "Kane has challenged me this night."

"The first marking ritual is a kiss which is sealed with the male's power and binds the female's heart to him alone. This first mark is to ensure her faithfulness to him. A sort of seduction. The affects are not unpleasant for the female. It has been described as being in love. It is not necessary, but it makes arranged marriages more…..bearable." He said this last as though the words tasted bad in his mouth. "It is called, simply, The Kiss."

Rin's eyes widened as realization and understanding dawned on her.

"_That will not matter when I have marked you as my mate! You will love me!"_ Kane's words echoed in her mind.

"The second marking ritual is a bite given to the female on the left collarbone, or above her left breast over her heart. The wound, when first given, is sealed with the male's power and a scar forms after it heals that physically marks her as taken. The male's scent is also embedded in her after this effectively marking her as a specific male's territory. It is painful, so it is usually given during the height of a sexual act between the two. It is called Branding"

He was quiet for a moment, a faded memory coming to him briefly. He blinked and pushed it to the back of his mind. He looked out the window. He could smell a storm coming.

Rin held her breath waiting for him to continue. She thought she felt sadness hanging in the air, but as he sat in the shadows, she couldn't see him. Before she could ponder this any further he took up his lesson again, his voice soft and masculine.

"The third and final marking ritual, called Binding, is the sharing of blood. It is usually done at the same time Branding occurs. The male and female both drink from each other's blood, the male weaving his power into it. This binds each soul to the other. The mates spend the rest of their lives together after this. After this mark, _neither_ is able to be unfaithful to the other, each connected to the life force, the very soul of the other. If one dies, the other usually follows soon after. I have heard it described as watching someone die of a broken heart, and I have only known one demon to survive the loss of his life's mate." He said these last words in a barely audible tone.

A memory filled with such pain, so much loss that he nearly cried out from the pain it caused his forgotten heart, suddenly burst from the recesses of his mind. He took in his breath and held it, closing his eyes and willing the images to be locked away again, and continued.

"The Life Mate rituals have been performed for centuries to ensure strong bloodlines, and have been used to seal many treaties and agreements. Any demon with honor and a sense of dignity and duty to his family performs the rituals when he chooses his mate. If at least the last two marks are not given, then he has no claim to the female at all. Anyone may take her, and she is not recognized as his mate, rather she is viewed as a sort of concubine. Any offspring produced by a demon couple who has not shared the marks will not be recognized as heirs to the family titles, estates, territory…nothing."

His explanation ended, and silence filled the room. Lightning flashed through the window illuminating the room briefly and she thought she saw his eyes on her.

"If Lord Kane had succeeded in completing The Kiss, what would have happened to me?" Rin asked softly, almost afraid to hear the answer.

_Perhaps he already has. How can I test it? _Sesshoumaru pondered to himself.

"I do not know, but there would be nothing I could do. Death is the only event that may remove it."

"Oh." She swallowed.

"You are human, and though you are strong and healthy, I do not know what would happen to you. They are _demon _mating rituals."

"Oh." She said again.

They sat in silence listening to the rumbling thunder in the distance for several moments. Lord Sesshoumaru was calmer now. He was able to think clearly once again, and his thoughts turned grudgingly to Lord Kane.

"Kane has expressed wishes for you as his mate before today?" Sesshoumaru asked in his bored tone.

_Yes, but what does it matter when all I ever think about is you! _Her mind cried.

"Yes M'lord." She answered simply and turned her gaze to the window blushing.

Sesshoumaru watched her blush innocently. Why did she not assure him that she did not return Kane's feelings? His gaze fell to her lips. They were down turned in a frown. It looked very out of place on his Rin's pretty face. _His Rin!_ How he suddenly wished he could make those lips turn up into a smile again. He found himself wondering how those soft full lips would taste. Sudden anger filled him again.

_How dare Kane presume to take her without my permission! How dare he take her first kiss! My kiss!_

A growl took form before he could stop it. _My kiss?_ He tore his gaze from her and stood in one motion and paced across the room like a caged animal. _Enough! _He commanded his thoughts._ Such sentiments will not continue! This is exactly why you are seeking a mate for her! _

Rin was again startled by Lord Sesshoumaru's uncharacteristic show of any type of emotion. He clearly radiated agitation.

"M'Lord, are you angry with me?" She asked in a hurt tone. _Why else would he be acting like this?_

When he reached the window he stopped and stood for several moments watching the lightning. His long hair seemed to glow in the flickering candle light.

_YES! How could you want another? Have I not given you everything? _His mind screamed at her, again having automatically reacted with jealous rage.

"No." He answered her after a moment and then he turned to her, fixing her with golden eyes that seemed to bore into her soul.

"You will stay here until I return." He ordered and was gone, leaving her sitting on the edge of his bed. Thunder rumbled in the distance.

Sesshoumaru headed out into the storm eager to be away from her. He couldn't seem to gain control of himself around her right now. Her scent was so sweet and such torture! How he had wanted to touch her! It was becoming evident that he would have to find her a suitable match and be done with her before he lost the control he had always prided himself for having and ravished her!

His restless thoughts conjured up an image of Kane as Rin's mate and he snarled into the storm at the thought!

_Fool!_ He chided himself inwardly. _Why does Kane anger me? Am I not seeking a mate for her! NO! Not him! He is not worthy!_

Sesshoumaru had disliked the arrogant tiger demon almost as soon as he had encountered him; however, he had commissioned him for Rin's combat instruction because of his reputation for being a great warrior on the battlefield. Sesshoumaru snorted to himself at this thought. It was not the tiger's arrogance or conceit that Sesshoumaru disliked though. There was something dark about him, and he always seemed as though he were about to challenge Sesshoumaru to a duel to the death at any moment. It was because he was cousin to the ruling clan of the North that he even tolerated the behavior. It was said that Kane had even been disinherited by his father several hundred years ago, but his father had died suddenly in his sleep around the same time. No, Sesshoumaru needed the alliance with the North to go as smoothly as possible. He had grudgingly allowed the tiger to tutor Rin.

Well, he would tolerate the tiger no longer! It was possible that Kane had succeeded in giving Rin the Kiss which meant that as long as he lived, Rin's weak, emotional, human heart would belong only to Kane! He tried to convince himself that the reason he was after Kane was that if Rin had been marked, she would not be able to be taken as a mate by whomever he chose for her. The marks would not be able to be given. Images of Rin drunken with desire for the tiger flashed across his thoughts. Oh Yes! The tiger would die! Lightning flashed and a clap of thunder boomed throughout the night sky as the fierce rain stung his face. Indeed, he would enjoy being the hand of death this night!


	5. Chapter 5

8/20/05

A/N: I don't own Inuyasha or its characters.

Hello Everyone! I'm so glad you are enjoying my story! Thank you for the comments!

'_888888' _ means a time lapse occurs, or a different scene is coming up.

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**Chapter Five: Insight **

Rin yawned as she came out of a rather warm and pleasant slumber. She had dreamed of soft touches and a warm presence with beautiful golden eyes. She was so comfortable. She didn't want to get up. She stretched out across the comfortable bed and yawned again. She took in a deep lazy breath relishing the masculine scent of Lord Sesshoumaru.

_Lord Sesshoumaru's scent!_

Her eyes snapped open and she sat straight up looking around. Memories of the night before flooded back into her mind. Lord Sesshoumaru had not returned. She must have slept in his bed all night! She felt heat rise to her cheeks at the thought. Other images crept into her mind while she sat in his bed surrounded by his scent. Thoughts of how nice the sheets would feel against her bare skin and then thoughts of not being alone under those sheets in his bed filled her mind. She gasped at the intimate thoughts her mind produced and quickly scrambled from the bed and fled from the room.

_Why hadn't Lord Sesshoumaru come back? _

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It had been two weeks since Lord Sesshoumaru left the beautiful young woman sleeping in his bed.

_He ordered her to stay put until his return and then went to seek out Kane, but the tiger demon had obviously taken Sesshoumaru's death warning to heart. He wasn't to be found anywhere. His scent trailed off in to the forest. He had returned to his quarters that night to find Rin right where he had commanded she stay. She was curled up into an uncomfortable looking ball at the edge of his bed fast asleep. He allowed himself a smile at the sight. He moved quietly to where she lay and easily picked her small form up, moving her to the middle of the bed. Her sweet scent filled his senses as he lowered her onto the pillows. He drew the sheet over her and looked at her a moment longer. _

_Maybe her scent will linger on the sheets for a while, he thought idly to himself as he drew in another breath of her cherry blossom fragrance._

"_Sesshoumaru……" She whispered his name softly, almost breathlessly in her sleep._

_His heart gave an unfamiliar and rather startling flutter at the sound of his name whispered from her lips. This time he had heard it clearly. Not, 'Lord' Sesshoumaru, or 'Master' Sesshoumaru, but just his name. The intimacy was not lost on him and he found that he rather liked the sound coming from her lips, but it also puzzled him. _

_What is she dreaming? I wonder. _

_He had lingered a little longer hoping she would whisper his name again, but time was short. He was on his way to Inuyasha's village seeking information. He reached down absent mindedly and brushed a few strands of her gorgeous black hair from her face. He allowed himself one more breath of her scent before quietly leaving her to her dreams. He hoped they were pleasant ones whatever they were of._

That had been two long weeks ago! He had caught Kane's scent in his territory a few times, but for some reason couldn't trace him and he was in a foul mood after being in Inuyasha's village.

_He hated even being near the hanyou! But, he had not gone there seeking Inuyasha. He found his brother's human mate easily enough_. _She had his scent embedded in her, and Sesshoumaru's heart gave a quick jerk of hope at finding a human marked and still alive and well before realizing that she was not marked at all! No, she was carrying the half demon's child in her womb and that was why she smelled so strongly of him. Baka Inuyasha! He had been about to leave without even making his presence known when Inuyasha had come charging from the bushes at him screaming profanities. Of course Sesshoumaru had easily flattened the half demon without even so much as moving from where he stood._

"_Foolish little half brother. I am not here to fight you today. Perhaps some other time."_

_And then he had walked away while Inuyasha still lay dazed on the ground wondering what had hit him. _

Sesshoumaru approached the outer trees of his forest and could already smell the sea. He made his way into the trees eager to be home. Eager to see if responses to his inquires had arrived yet. _Eager to see Rin again._ His agitated mood only darkened as the young woman invaded his thoughts in intimate ways yet again.

He stopped not far into the tree line, a familiar scent floated in the breeze that sifted through the trees. He knew immediately who it was, and after a moment of listening and smelling the air, he deduced her exact location as well. He could hear her feminine voice and could feel her playful mood in the air. A smirk formed on his lips, all annoyance gone from him, and he drew his power into himself.

Rin sat in the high branches of the ancient tree, Bokusenou, and sang a little tune she had made up many years ago while traveling with Lord Sesshoumaru. When she finished, the tree boomed with deep laughter!

"Delightful young Rin! Your voice has matured beautifully!" The tree praised the young woman in his deep timber.

She smiled at the compliment reaching around and patting the trunk fondly. She leaned back against it and looked up into the sky. It was a beautiful day. The sky was a clear light blue and soft fluffy clouds floated lazily past. She would normally have her combat lesson now, but after his encounter with Lord Sesshoumaru, Lord Kane hadn't been seen around the palace again. Her thoughts turned to Lord Sesshoumaru and she sighed. She missed him. He had been gone for fourteen days now. He had been acting so strange when he had left her that night. He was so angry, so…so…passionate! She suddenly thought of the morning she had woken in his bed wrapped in his sheets and surrounded by his wonderful fresh woodland scent and shivered. She wondered if he had ever had a woman in that bed. He was much older than she, having lived for centuries before she had ever come along. Had he ever had a mate? If so, then she must not be dead, because he isn't dead, unless he _was_ the demon he spoke of that had survived the death of his mate. Her heart broke for him at the same time that jealousy squeezed at her heart.

"He approaches." The great tree reported mildly.

Rin blinked. "Who?" She asked startled, and then began to blush as the tree chuckled at her. The wise old tree could sense many things.

"Young Lord Sesshoumaru, of course." The still laughing tree responded.

Her heart skipped a beat. Sudden excitement shot through her and a mischievous smile spread across her face. She pulled up her legs and crouched against the massive trunk hidden from the view on the path, waiting. She could feel herself trembling with anticipation.

"Even I cannot last long without drawing breath." Sesshoumaru's voice drifted down to her from the branches above.

She jumped in startled surprise and blew out the breath she hadn't realized she was holding and nearly fell. The great tree began to boom with laughter at this. When she regained her composure she looked up and saw Lord Sesshoumaru perched in the branches above her. He looked down at her with one eyebrow raised in mild curiosity.

"Sesshoumaru-sama! Greetings! Jaken-sama will be pleased to see you've returned." A coy smile crossed her lips and she batted her eyes at him. "He has missed you!"

_She is teasing me!_ In his mind he was completely astonished! She had never, ever, teased him before! She had always been more than happy to gush about how much she had missed him and how happy she was that he had returned. _Always?_ Gone were the days of her innocent declarations of love and devotion. These words now carried the weight of feeling and meaning in her adult mind. Why shouldn't her mannerisms change as well. Change. This and death were the only inevitable things in life. He couldn't help the feeling of remorse at the thought of how much her life was going to change very soon. Though he wasn't entirely sure that the feelings of sadness were for her, but for how much his own life was going to change without her. Outwardly, of course, he merely looked at her, his usual bored expression firmly in place.

She let out a small laugh and jumped from the tree. He followed, and with one more glance at her, he bowed respectfully to Bokusenou, who was now looking very contemplatively at Lord Sesshoumaru, and continued his trek up the path. Her cherry blossom scent filled his senses as he walked and he closed his eyes drawing it in. Only Rin could smell so natural and sweet. He would miss her scent very much.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, about the marks? Have you ever….?" He stopped in his tracks and went rigid, his heart was gripped with dread of the question she was about to ask, all playfulness gone from her. He sensed her heart rate increasing and she suddenly smelled nervous.

_How do I ask him such a personal question? Will he even answer me? Gods! I will go insane if I don't find out! _She suddenly imagined Lord Sesshoumaru in a lover's embrace with some faceless woman. Hot jealousy simmered through her again and she felt her cheeks going red as she stammered on.

"….has there ever been…. ? He tilted his face to the sky as she searched for her words.

_Why does she want to know? I would rather put the subject from my mind!_

"….Have you ever been in love? He stood there in silence for so long that she thought he had decided not to answer.

"No." He answered simply, and continued towards home trying to ignore her delicate scent and the nagging feeling that he had just misled her, had lied to her.

Waves of relief washed over her and the horrible image in her mind dissolved. She knew she would never have any hope of him ever loving her as she knew she loved him, but she didn't think she could handle the jealousy and heart break if he had belonged to another.

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Sesshoumaru returned later in the evening to visit his father's old and trusted friend. The demon tree, Bokusenou, was so ancient that he may as well have been ageless. Indeed, Sesshoumaru remembered climbing the ancient branches of the tree as a mere pup. The tree's roots reached far throughout the land, and his branches reached high above the forest tree tops. He was one of the few in the world that Sesshoumaru had any respect for, and he had a great deal of respect for him at that. Now, Sesshoumaru had questions he needed answers to and the ancient tree knew a great deal about a lot of things. He stood before the great tree, now, unmoving, outwardly calm and expressionless.

"How do I determine if she has been marked? He asked. He had told the tree about Kane and Rin. "If she has been marked with The Kiss then she will be loyal only to Kane as long as he lives. She will, in effect, love him forever."

Hot anger seared through his veins at the thought that Kane might have ruined his chances of successfully mating her to someone and finally being able to complete his treaty without the little human distracting him so and being in the way. But he found he was even angrier that she might not be able to be happy in life now that she might be bound to the despicable creature.

"Woo her." The tree responded simply.

Sesshoumaru blinked.

"Bokusenou, I cannot! I will not! I will never…never a human!" Astonishment uncharacteristically clear in his voice.

"Young Master Sesshoumaru! You asked the question, I give you the solution! The girl is in love with you! Woo her. If she resists you, then it is most likely she is indeed marked. If she falls into your arms willingly you will know she is safe from Lord Kane's grasp and you may follow your own heart as well. The tree explained in a commanding and father-like tone.

"My own heart? Such sentiments as love are lost on me." Sesshoumaru replied coldly, but the tree's stern look deepened at his words.

"No! I will not repeat the mistake my father made! I will not be weakened so!" Sesshoumaru spat. He was beginning to get angry.

"You and I both know that it would be pointless anyhow." He added in a low quiet tone, lowering his eyes, seemingly lost in thought.

"The love your father developed for the human woman ultimately became his greatest strength. Do not let stubborn, childish pride blind you." The tree replied calmly.

"Is there no other way to determine if she is marked?" Sesshoumaru asked, not wanting to respond to the tree's last statement, and still not looking at the tree.

"Lord Kane is the only other who can tell you truthfully." The great tree responded. "She will not know the truth herself, until it is tested."

Sesshoumaru brought his eyes back to the tree's face, his own now the icy expressionless mask it always was.

"I will test her, but nothing more." Sesshoumaru bowed to the tree and turned and walked back into the trees towards home.


	6. Chapter 6

08/23/05

A/N: Hello All! Thank-you for all of your support! Here are a few more chapters.

I don't own Inuyasha. Disclaimer applies to all the rest of the chapters too.

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**Chapter 6: The Test and Mixed Up Signals (Oh the power of one's perception!) **

Sesshoumaru and Rin sat in the library in silence. It was late into the evening and it was nice to sit and relax. Lord Sesshoumaru sat immersed in what looked like a very old scroll, his golden eyes moving over the page swiftly. Rin sat across from him running a comb through her thick wavy hair and watching her master. His silver hair cascaded down his back and fanned out on the floor around him where he sat. He sat with one leg on the floor bent at the knee with his foot in towards his body and the other foot on the floor, knee up, his arm draped over it, hand holding the parchment loosely. Rin was fascinated by him! His bare feet drew her attention. His skin was pale and he had two crimson stripes like the ones on his face coming up over the tops of his feet from the outsides. She wondered idly where all he had those stripes. The thought of his body brought heat to her cheeks and her eyes darted up to his face. He was starring at her, his face expressionless. He glanced down at his foot, fanning his toes, and seeing nothing extraordinary, returned his eyes to her face. He blinked once.

Rin's heart skipped a beat. She lowered her eyes willing her breathing and heartbeat to slow, to calm. She chanced a glance at him after a moment. He was starring into the flame of the single candle he had brought to the floor with him for light. He looked lost in thought. Again she lost herself examining him. This time his hair captured her attention. It shimmered almost gold with the dancing light of the candles set throughout the room for lighting. She had always loved his hair. It looked so thick and silky and her fingers positively itched to touch it to see if it was as marvelous as it looked. Her thoughts turned to his scent. He always smelled fresh like the forest after spring rains with a hint of something masculine. She herself preferred to scrub her skin with fresh cherry blossoms. She knew he did not like the smell of humans. She wondered what he used to capture such a scent, but suddenly her thoughts were filled with images of Lord Sesshoumaru soaking wet, dripping from head to toe, and glistening, naked as he bathed. She shivered. Lightning and fire shot through her veins at her thoughts. She swallowed hard, blinking and coming back to herself, heat rising in her cheeks again! She quickly glanced up to his face and sure enough, he was starring at her, watching her reaction to her own thoughts.

Lord Sesshoumaru stood in one fluid motion, rolled his scroll up and proceeded to the door. He stopped just before leaving the room and spoke to her softly, his back still facing her.

"You will be in the practice yard just after sunrise tomorrow." And with that, he stepped through the door and was gone.

Rin flopped onto her back on the floor and sighed aloud in frustration. What was wrong with her! She loved sitting with him in the evenings, but more and more, when he was near she became completely distracted and couldn't concentrate on anything but him! She knew she loved him, desired him. This was not new to her, but every little thing about him seemed to taunt her lately. She couldn't get enough of him! His scent, his body, what he could possibly be thinking! She had made her home with Lord Sesshoumaru these past ten years, but she still knew little of him.

She did know that he was honorable and straightforward. He was very powerful, and indeed ambitious, but he was also wise and patient. She also knew that he was considered to be very young in demon years. Bokusenou explained that he was but the equivalent of about twenty-two human years of age. She was gaining on him! She knew that his father and mother died many, many years ago, like her family. She knew that he was a great demon lord and all of the western lands were in his control, under his protection. Most of those lands were inherited from his father, but some he had acquired himself. He was proud and dignified. He was quiet and observant, and he valued peace and serenity. But he was also calm and deadly. She had seen him rip his enemy to shreds without blinking an eye or breaking a sweat. Over the years she had come to discover that he seemed to enjoy small pleasures such as reading and being outside. He rarely spoke, never laughed, and if you were graced with his smile, it was said that you were about to die. But she knew nothing about him that she did not observe or have someone else tell her. What were his goals? What did he dream about? What did he think about when he sat for hours on end outside under some tree? What motivated him? Why had he never married?

_He will never feel anything for me and he would most certainly not confide in me about such intimate things! Why does my heart torture me? Why can't I be content with what I have anymore? Why can I not just be content to be near him any more?_

She stood and went about the room blowing out the candles and then headed for her room. Her heart ached as she trudged along the corridor. How she wished she could at least be of some use to her master, to serve him in some way. Would that even be enough to fulfill this longing?

She sighed heavily as she entered her rooms and slid the door closed behind her. She had been ordered to be up early. She needed to get some sleep, but she knew her thoughts were not going to be kind to her tonight. She longed for Lord Sesshoumaru in many ways.

_**888888**_

Sesshoumaru kept a steady pace as he walked to his quarters, but he wanted to run. He had been able to block out her sweet cherry blossom scent. She always smelled of the soft fragrance, but he couldn't escape her bewitching hazel eyes, or her racing heartbeat, or the heat she radiated, or her quickening breath, or…or the slight hint of her arousal. He reached his chamber and quickly entered, sliding the door closed to the outside world.

_Sweet Sanctuary! _He thought, leaning his forehead against the door, closing his eyes, and taking a deep breath.

_Perhaps determining if she is marked will be easier than I thought! _

He spent the rest of the night planning out just how he would go about seducing the young woman and getting a reaction that would tell him she was free of the arrogant, brainless, _dead_ tiger.

The Sparring Dance would be the perfect tool for testing her.

'Enticement with Flesh' was the first part of the ancient mating dance. The male demon would bare some part of his flesh in an attempt to entice the female's attention and desire for him.

'Power and Strength' was the second part. It was performed in an instinctual effort to show the female that he was the best choice for her to mate with.

'Submission and Acceptance' was the last stage of the dance. At this stage, the male gained a dominant position over the female, and she would either submit to him and accept him as her lover, or refuse to yield and refuse to take him as a lover in which case the Dance would end and the male would end his pursuit.

He was confident that if Rin were free of Kane's Kiss, she would willingly submit. He knew that he was handsome. Women had always desired him, and there had been a time long ago when he took great advantage of that fact and enjoyed the ladies of the territory. He could not remember being turned down even once. But, after his father had died and his need for revenge and later his lust for power had engulfed him, the appetites of his body died and he no longer thought about such things. There was, however, another reason he did not wish to remember the intimacies shared between a man and woman. He growled at his invading thoughts and tried to detach himself from what he had to do tomorrow. His longing for Rin was futile for more than one reason.

_**888888**_

Rin made her way through the trees and down the path to the practice yard. It was still before sunrise, but curiosity had kept her awake most of the night and now she was positively shaking with anticipation. She had dressed in her form fitting black and burgundy combat garments and had pulled her hair into a high pony tail out of her face. She had only been in the practice field with Master Kane before. She wondered what Lord Sesshoumaru had in store for her as she continued down the path, but as she rounded the curve and approached the clearing, a form in the middle of the yard caught her eye and she froze.

The grey morning light and the early morning mist that hung in the air effectively shaded the figure, but the silhouette was clearly masculine. She ducked behind a tree and peaked around to get another look. The form was bare-chested, and had a high pony tail of hair that trailed down his back. The mysterious figure slowly moved from stance to stance with a short staff in hand. He moved with such strength and grace that her heart almost hurt with the beauty of him.

_Master Kane? What's he doing here?_

Her heart leapt into her throat at the thought of her former master. She had not encountered him since he had so thoroughly kissed her. A soft blush crept to her cheeks at remembering how his power had affected her, and how powerless she had been to fight it. At that moment the figure stopped and turned, standing straight and tall and faced her direction. She could feel his gaze on her. But just as she was about to turn tail and run, the first rays of light began to shimmer through the trees and mist. It was not Lord Kane who stood starring at her at all! Her breath caught and her heart stopped beating all together at the sight before her.

Lord Sesshoumaru's form seemed to materialize from the mist as it began to clear. He had his silver locks pulled into a high tight pony tail at the top of his head which trailed down his back and swayed at his waist in the slight breeze. This made the tilt of his eyes, the point of his ears, and the slashes across his cheekbones seem even sharper and more prominent. He was indeed topless and his pale skin was flawless! His shoulders and chest were sculpted with well toned muscle and she could just make out firm, chiseled stomach muscles before his pants covered the rest. His waist was trim and he wore black pants, loose at the bottom. He was bare foot and the stripes across his feet made her double check his chest and arms. He had no other slashes except the ones across his forearms. He stood there now, looking at her with sparkling golden eyes, face unreadable as usual, his torso covered in a thin sheen of sweat. She had never seen him use any other weapon other than his swords, but here he stood, still holding the staff he had been practicing flawlessly with propped on the ground and leaned away from his body. He was absolutely breathtaking!

She blinked with a start and shyly came out from her hiding place and approached the practice ring, her heart began to beat again only to begin pounding in her chest so loud she was sure he would notice. His eyes did not leave her for a second.

"Good morning Lord Sesshoumaru! I thought you were Master Kane for a moment" she blurted out cheerily and laughed a little. _Gods! He's so handsome! _

Sesshoumaru had been well pleased with her reaction to the sight of him until she had told him she thought he was Kane!

_Is she so infatuated with him that he doesn't leave her mind for a second? _

Anger and much to his annoyance, jealousy seethed in his veins. He swallowed his snarl and stalked towards her. She stood at the edge of the ring regarding him with those lovely hazel eyes. They shone with surprisingly bright green flecks in the early morning sunlight. Images of a similar set of eyes darted across his thoughts, but those eyes were radiant with a demon's glow. He shook the image away. Rin's human, and yet somehow glowing eyes were probably sparkling with thoughts of her lover!

_Stop!_ He silently commanded his mind and heart to be still.

'_Enticement with Flesh' is complete, and you have failed! Succeeding is not the object here! You are testing her to see if she is marked so that you can match her with someone and get on with your life! You will control these outbursts of petty, pointless emotions this instant! _

His inner voice of reason did nothing to sooth his slightly wounded pride though.

His expression remained emotionless but he continued to fix her with his gaze as he slowly approached her. Her eyes locked with his as he came nearer. He stopped directly in front of her, so close that she had to tilt her head back to continue looking into his eyes. She seemed to fall into his honey gaze as he slowly reached out and took up the staff she hadn't noticed was leaning against the railing of the practice yard fencing, and held it to her. She took it from him and he backed away from her. Never taking his eyes from hers, he bowed slightly and took up his stance. She watched in fascination and then moved to the center across from him, bowed, and took up her own stance, accepting the challenge.

_She moves confidently! _He observed approvingly. _Like a ferocious little animal that should never be underestimated!_

She struck first, but he smoothly blocked the staff and returned the strike. She spun, blocked, and lashed at him. He ducked in time for her staff to sweep over his head and he swept his own at her legs. She jumped and dove to the ground, rolled, and came back up into a crouching stance. Her heart was racing and her breath came in short gasps. Her emerald gaze never left him. They circled each other slowly, each waiting for the other to strike.

"You learned well from Kane, I see." He stated mildly as he watched her and immediately sensed the jolt in her pounding heart beat. He saw a blush creep into her cheeks.

_She reacts to the mere mention of his despicable name! Surely she is marked! _The bitter taste of jealousy was becoming familiar to him.

He moved like the wind, quietly, gracefully, and yet powerfully. In an instant he had attacked and she had blocked each blow and countered. They danced around the circle in battle for most of the morning, golden eyes locked with hazel green. He was, grudgingly, very impressed with her skills. They broke away panting and sweating and he noticed the determination and pride shining in her eyes. She held her chin ever so slightly higher as well.

_She thinks to leave this ring the victor!_ He realized in amusement, but the amusement was swallowed by darkness when he reminded himself just what was occurring.

She watched him move. He was stunning! She memorized every line of him, every small move. He exuded wild, carnal energy, and she found herself longing to find other ways of releasing that energy. She blinked when he spoke, and blushed, pleased with his compliment. She suddenly felt like she could fly!

Her cherry blossom scent was musky with the scent of salty sweat and she radiated feminine power. He found himself wondering, as he eyed the creamy flesh of her throat, if she would taste as good as she smelled. He blinked the daydream away and looked at her. _Enough playing! It is time! _Determined to end this suddenly very distracting activity, he stalked towards her.

She was breathing heavily, lungs burning, and every muscle in her body positively ached, but she found herself unwilling to ask for mercy. She suddenly wanted to show him she was strong. That she was good enough. _Good enough for what?_ She watched as he suddenly stalked towards her, a fierce challenge in his eyes.

He swung his staff at her head. She ducked and counter attacked by stabbing at him with hers and then she swept her leg under him intending to sweep his feet from under him, but she did not make contact. He had jumped over her leg, and she suddenly found herself flat on her back in the dirt. She landed hard letting out a grunt, but she reacted automatically and tried to roll, but he was just as suddenly sitting over her, straddling her, pinning her to the ground.

"Enough!" He commanded in a deep, harsh voice.

'_Power and Strength' is complete. _

He was leaned over her with her wrists caught tight in his grip and her arms held over her head, looking at her. He seemed almost angry. His chest heaved with his breathing, his mouth slightly open. Her own heart felt as though it might burst from exertion. Waves of disappointment washed over her as tears of defeat created an extra shine in her eyes.

_I'm not good enough! I never will be!_ But her breath caught and all thought left her as he leaned down bringing his face to her neck.

She had fought with so much passion! She was absolutely lovely, and she smelled so incredible! He couldn't stop himself. He leaned down bringing his face so close to the pulse in her neck that he could almost feel it. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, savoring her scent. Desire shot through his veins and a low growl escaped his throat. He could feel her small, firm body trembling underneath him and a deep hunger formed in the pit of his stomach and traveled lower. He was about to bring his lips gently to her throat and finally taste her sweet skin when she froze and went completely rigid. All at once her enticing salty-sweet scent was over powered by a new one. She smelled of fear!

He opened his eyes and jerked his head back to look at her. She had turned her face the other direction and tears glided across the bridge of her nose to drip on the ground. In one fluid motion he released her, grabbed his staff and walked to the opening of the ring. He stood with his back to her, still for a moment. He turned his head slightly to look at her from the corner of his eye and suddenly snapped the staff in half, throwing the pieces in either direction. Then he simply evaporated.

Rin lay in the dirt still trying her best to hold in the tears of disappointment and calm her breathing. She had felt sudden panic at his growl.

_Ugh! My disgusting human scent! _

There was nothing she could do! She had just been soundly beaten, surely disappointing Lord Sesshoumaru at how easily she had been thrown to the ground. She was completely devastated at how weak she had just proven she was, and then to top it all off, he had growled after breathing in her scent! Her foul human odor had caught his nose!

_I will never be good enough for him! _The thought brought a lump to her throat and fresh tears to her eyes.

She didn't know how long she lay in the dirt sobbing, her pathetic human heart breaking over the loss of a something she had never had a chance of having in the first place!

_**888888**_

Sesshoumaru materialized in Bokusenou's glen and began immediately pacing back and forth letting out a snarl of anger.

"She responds to his name and is afraid of me!" He roared at the tree, who was looking at the young demon lord with an expression of astonishment. It was very uncharacteristic of this demon pup to show any emotion at all, and here he was practically radiating anger and frustration!

"Does this mean she is marked?" Sesshoumaru asked, taking a deep breath and holding it in an attempt to calm himself.

"The first mark is not easily detected unless she openly loved another before the mark was given. If you are certain, as I am, that you would normally have been able to seduce young Rin and she resists you, then it is most likely she has been indeed given the first mark by the tiger demon Kane." The tree toned, watching the demon's face.

Sesshoumaru's plan had been a simple one. He would initiate the Sparring Dance and see how it played out. He had begun with 'Enticement with Flesh.' He had barred his upper body to her to gain her longing for his flesh. Instead, she had immediately thought of Kane! He had then moved into 'Power and Strength,' giving a show of his physical strength and stamina while sparring with her all of those hours. Instead, she was the one to show the strength and she had refused to back down and acknowledge his masculine power or his inevitable victory. Finally he had begun 'Submission and Acceptance,' but she had grown scared of him instead and had turned away from him shedding tears, not willingly submitting or accepting him. She was marked. Her heart belonged to Kane. He was certain of it now.

Sesshoumaru let out a growl of frustration as he continued to pace in front of the tree lost in his own thoughts. No, he wasn't certain! He realized, as though being slapped in the face, that he didn't know how to even begin the seduction of a human! Seducing a demoness was so different from seducing such an emotional creature! A Sparring Dance such as what he had just gone through, had it been with a demon female, would have ended in a rather rough and frenzied mating session. That was, after all, the purpose of the Dance. But, Rin was not a Demoness.

_If she had been a demoness I would have thrown her to the ground and ravished her! _ _ If she had been a demoness, I would not be in this predicament! She would have been mine a long time ago… _

_Yes, yes you would still be in this predicament! Fool! Do not forget your agreement!_ The voice of reason screamed at the voice of his heart's desire.

His heart and body's constant need to revolt against his rational demon mind infuriated him even more! Why could he not seem to control his longing for her? These feelings for her had come on so gradually that he had not realized he was being fully assaulted by them until it was too late. Now he did not know how to counteract them! It was completely unacceptable to have these useless feelings creeping up on him when the treaty was finally so near completion, and most certainly not for a mere human! He would not be distracted and weakened as his father had been! It had to stop!

"I have no other choice. He stated in his matter of fact manner and breathing heavily in an attempt to gain his much needed control. "She must be gone within the month, marked or not. She is becoming a liability. I cannot wait any longer." And with that, he bowed respectfully to the tree and vanished.

Bokusenou sighed softly. The great tree wondered idly if Sesshoumaru had even considered that young Rin might not even understand the significance of the Sparring Dance or its stages.

"He is so impatient and headstrong, Inutashio! Much like you were! His stubbornness will cause him much unhappiness, unfortunately." Bokusenou whispered to the memory of his good friend.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: A Decision Is Made**

Sesshoumaru sat in the library for hours. The sun had gone completely down by the time he had regained his composure. On his desk lay a pile of letters from various lesser demons throughout the territories that had replied to his inquiries. Each one gushed about how he was the best candidate for Rin's mate and then they proceeded to flatter Lord Sesshoumaru and prostrate themselves on paper. Sesshoumaru knew that they all wanted his wealth, his lands, his protection, and possibly to eventually overthrow him and take control of the west. Greed was a disgusting trait.

One letter stood out above all the others however. A young leader of the large panther tribe in the central region did not gush and boast. He made it clear that he was interested in an alliance with the powerful Western Lord, and that a marriage into his house would be for support and protection. Sesshoumaru's offered dowry of gold and land was refused in this particular letter. Sesshoumaru would not have given it a second glance figuring that his Rin would be cast aside like some tool that had lost its usefulness once the alliance was complete, except he knew this particular panther demon. He shared a mutual acquaintance with him even, and he knew that this acquaintance would attest to this particular demon's character as well. He had no great power, but he was a good leader and an honorable man, and he wasted no time. He had already arranged a meeting with Jaken. He would be here within a week. One more nagging thought crept into his mind. He owed this particular demon a debt.

Sesshoumaru made his decision. In one month's time, Rin would accompany Jaken and himself on their journey north. They would stop long enough to ensure completion of the mating ceremonies. There was, however, some unfinished business that had to be attended to. Sesshoumaru would have to hunt down and kill Kane to ensure that Rin could be properly marked. She would not live as a mate and not be marked! She would not be disgraced so! Any sons she gave the panther would be rightful heirs despite being hanyou!

His next problem seeped into his tired mind as he stood and moved to the window to watch the fire flies that Rin loved so much. How was he going to tell her about the match? Was she in love with Kane? _It does not matter!_ He had allowed her to remain with him for far too long. She could not remain with him any longer! It was just not proper for an unmated human woman to trail after a male demon lord, and she would have no place in his life after…after…

Sudden thoughts of being without her gripped his heart painfully.

There will be no more singing.

He didn't like her noise anyway!

There will be no more laughter.

There were serious matters that needed attending anyway!

He looked around. They often shared evenings together in this library.

_There would be no more of Rin's chatter about her day or what she had learned, or her opinions about something, or her inquiries about something she didn't understand. _

He would be able to concentrate solely on his own concerns once again!

_Why has she not come to join me this evening?_

His eyes landed on a vase of cheerful flowers from her garden. She replaced them every few days so that they were always fresh and alive with color. She had several vases around the palace that she did this with.

_There will be no more flowers. _

They were too bright and smelly anyway!

His inner voice of reason began to sound stubborn and childish to even his own ears, but it mattered not!

Sesshoumaru nodded his head in firm resolution. His mind was made up! He stood and snuffed the candles and headed to his chambers, but the scent of salty tears came to his nose and he found himself standing before Rin's door instead of his own. He stood there taking in the scent of her sadness not knowing what to do.

_Why do I care?_

He turned and began to walk away, but found himself being pulled back by some unseen force. He turned and stalked back, and then turned and made to walk away again.

_Fool! What are you doing? _

But before he could escape, the door slid open ever so slowly. He stopped and stood tall and rigid in the doorway, his hands balled into fists at his side. Rin had changed into a lovely kimono of bright yellows and blues, but the cheerful colors contradicted the expression on her face. She stood before him with tear stained cheeks, swollen red rimmed eyes, and lips down turned in a frown of such sadness that his heart gave a quick jerk. She should never look so sad!

"M'Lord? Is there something you would speak to me about?" She inquired in a whisper so quiet that had he not been demon he might not have heard it.

He stood looking at her, his face expressionless. She had lowered her eyes and was looking at the floor, waiting for his response. The scent of her tears was overpowering this close and suddenly all he wanted was to make them stop. He reached out and gently lifted her chin up with one finger.

"Why did you not join me in the library this evening, and why do you cry?" He asked softly in his deep voice.

"M'Lord, I displeased you today in the practice ring. Your displeasure in me makes my heart ache." She replied in a cracking voice, tears spilling over her eyelids.

_She believes that I am displeased with her in some way?_

He raised one elegant eyebrow at her words. He had not expected this response. She had always been so open with her feelings, but these feelings she shared with him now were far different from those carefree childish declarations she so freely shared when she was a little girl. Why did humans have to be so complicated!

"You presume to know what this Sesshoumaru is thinking?" He asked.

She blinked and pulled her chin away from his reach. She backed into the room a little further and looked at the floor.

He sighed inwardly with a little frustration. Why did she draw away from him? He did not touch her often, but was his touch so undesirable?

"You were frightened of me today in the practice yard. Why?" He asked her a little more harshly than he had intended to.

"I…you growled…" But she did not finish. She swallowed hard, her heart having jumped into her throat.

He stood there for a moment and looked at her. She stood perfectly still, her face down turned. His heart fluttered.

"Rin, look at me." He commanded softly in his deep voice, and when she raised her eyes to him his breath caught in his suddenly constricted chest.

"I am not displeased with you, Rin." He said softly after a moment, catching her hazel eyes with his golden gaze.

She blushed as she felt relief wash through her and all at once realized that he was still standing just outside her door, his amber gaze on her. Her gaze raked down his body and back up in a brief glimpse. He was dressed leisurely all in black, arms sleeveless, with his hair falling in silver waves around him, and he was barefoot. It occurred to her that he might be waiting for her permission to enter. He was a demon, but he was also a respectable man of pride and honor. He would not enter her room without being invited in.

She swallowed. "M'Lord, please come in." She invited. Her heart pounded. He had not been in this room since she had come to inhabit it, that she was aware of.

He stood there for a full minute staring at her. She had no idea what could possibly be going through his head. His eyes fluttered ever so slightly and he slowly stepped into the room. She let out her breath slowly, willing her heart to be still. She turned and walked to her bed and sat down on the edge of it and then looked up at him with uncertainty. She swiped at her tears.

He moved into the middle of the room and sunk down to the floor to sit cross-legged. His eyes roamed over her room and all of her possessions as he took in his surroundings. He had forgotten how large the room actually was. It was almost as large as his own room. Her bed was made up of pale pink and yellow silk pillows and sheets and sat at the far end of the room in the corner. A large armoire made of a rich brownish red cherry wood was nestled against the wall across from the bed. He remembered acquiring the unique piece of furniture for her from a craftsman who created the most unusual pieces of woodwork he had ever seen. Her eyes had sparkled and he could still hear the squeal of pure delight when he had brought it to her. She had bright cushions propped on a bench that sat under the window. A painting stand with rolls of painting scrolls, paints, and instruments cluttered the floor near the window, and a shelf full of seashells, rocks, and other trinkets she had collected over the years stood against the wall next to the window. Dried flowers hung on every wall and from most of the ceiling. It occurred to him that once she replaced the flowers in the vases around the palace with fresh ones, she must have been drying the biggest and brightest ones, which now adorned her walls. Most of all, he noticed how the room carried her sweet scent everywhere. It was embedded in the very walls.

He looked at her then, trying to block out that pleasing, feminine aroma. She still hadn't made any response to his declaration of not being displeased with her.

He tried again. "I have never harmed you."

He did not wish to explain the growl. He had been ready to take her right there on the ground in the practice yard whether she accepted him or not, and it embarrassed him slightly. Another emotion he was not accustomed to.

"But, that is not why I have come. I have something I must speak to you about." He just didn't know how to begin!

_Damn that scent!_

She sniffed, dabbed at her tear stained cheeks, and blinked curious eyes at him.

"Are you at all familiar with the panther demon tribe in the central region?" He asked.

Yes, ease her into the subject.

Her eyes widened in interest and she sat a little straighter.

"Yes, M'Lord." She responded a little uneasily.

"Tell me, what do you know of them?" He requested.

"They are not overly powerful, but they have a great sense of business. They control the trade routes through the central reigons, and what they lack in brute strength and power, they make up for with sheer numbers."

She paused and looked at him from under shy eyelashes. He nodded once to her.

"Go on." He softly encouraged.

"They do not like to do business with anyone they do not trust, so few are able to take advantage of the routes. It is a shame."

"And what do you think of an alliance with the tribes of the central region?" He asked, suddenly curious about her take on this issue.

She leaned back on her pillows, a little more at ease now, and launched into her answer.

"The western lands have a lot to offer and a lot to gain by trading with other regions. Since we are not currently allied with the South, and the North, though not hostile, is still reluctant to allow many westerners through their routes, trade for all is greatly hindered and takes too much time! The reason the west is so formidable despite this hindrance is because of its size and access to natural resources that the rest of the regions do not have access to."

Sesshoumaru blinked with astonishment. He was impressed with her grasp of the situation.

"I have long thought that some sort of an agreement, an alliance, with that particular panther demon tribe would prove profitable in more than one way. Allowing the western lands the ability to freely trade and perhaps even control some of the central trade routes would greatly speed up goods exchange both going out and coming in!" She explained

Sesshoumaru starred at her in utter amazement. He suddenly saw her in a completely new light. She was no longer the carefree innocent human child with flowers and poems filling her thoughts. He knew she was quick witted, and her instructors had informed him that, though she had always preferred daydreaming to studying, she learned fast. But, before him sat an intelligent woman who demonstrated an astounding understanding of the lands he controlled. He wondered briefly just what kind of conversations they might have if he bothered to actually participate in them. Outwardly, of course, he merely starred at her, giving away no sign as to what he was thinking.

Rin blushed under his intense scrutiny and was suddenly embarrassed about her bold declaration of her opinions on matters that did not concern her. But he did not seem displeased. His golden eyes brought sudden heat to her skin and her heart skipped a beat.

_Stop it Rin! Get a hold of yourself! _But as she tried to maintain strict control of her thoughts, she seemed to fall deeper into his magnificent eyes. Fire shot through her veins as she fidgeted on her bed and found herself remembering his very large bed.

"I wish for you to meet someone." He declared abruptly and in one fluid motion stood and walked to the door. He paused just before disappearing through it, and without turning he continued in his usual bored tone.

"The panther demon tribe leader will be arriving in a week. Be prepared to meet them hospitably. I have business to attend to and am leaving immediately." And with that, he was gone.

She sat at the edge of her bed in a confused daze. She took several deep breaths attempting to calm herself.

_Gods! He definitely knows how I feel now! How could he miss that reaction? And why does he care what I think of the central trade route issues?_

_**888888**_

Sesshoumaru's head was clouded with the sweet scent of cherry blossoms and the faintest hint of something a little more savory as he stormed his way down the corridor to his rooms! He had retreated from her room as soon as he had felt his body reacting to the spicy feminine scent that had suddenly spiked in the air. Or perhaps seeing her lying in her sheets so at ease and so enticing had played tricks on his continuously weakening mind.

He entered his rooms and closed the door behind him, leaning his head against it. Slow anger began to fill his heart.

_This Sesshoumaru will NOT fall prey to these useless feelings for a human!_

He would leave tomorrow and search out Kane. The gods only knew he needed to be away from her for a while. He would just have to tell her about her marriage to the Panther Demon leader when he returned.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: It is Done! **

Lord Sesshoumaru had been gone for a week and still had not returned by the time the panther demon tribe leader had arrived, though he was a full day early. Jaken had welcomed him and his two traveling companions and had shown them to the main house. Rin had stayed out of sight, preferring to observe.

The first panther demon to enter the main house was quite intriguing. She had never seen a panther demon before. He had black shoulder length hair that fell to his shoulders and was pulled back from his face by a leather headband. He had slightly slanted black eyes that looked around and took in everything curiously. He wore a silky black fur wrapped around his waist, and chest armor on his torso. He also wore a bow and a sling of arrows on his back.

The next one that entered took Rin's breath away. She heard Jaken greet him as Lord Kazuo and he was very exotic and handsome indeed! He wore a sleek white fur pelt around his waist and silver armor over his chest. He had four daggers at his waist on the right and a short-sword on his left hip. His lower legs were wrapped in white fur laced with brown straps. He had hair white as snow pulled into a high braid that hung down to the small of his back. A few long white strands were tucked behind his pointed ears, which were pierced several times each with small glittering gems. On his head he wore a silver band that came to a low point in the middle of his forehead. His slanted eyes were a startling blue and he had a firm, masculine jaw line and cheekbones. He had a scar across his left eye from just above the eyebrow to the middle of his cheek, and another very jagged scar across his throat from the back of his right ear to the top of his left collarbone, but they did not lessen the sheer beauty of him. He was trim and muscular with powerful arms and legs, and he moved like a cat with a fluid grace and balance. He was incredible. But there was something strange about him. He seemed withdrawn, almost sad. His whole being seemed to radiate a sense of wretched loss and sadness.

Lord Kazuo's last traveling companion stayed outside, so Rin moved quietly to the window and peeked out. Her heart gave a leap of excitement at what she beheld. The other traveling companion was a very large and very powerful looking sleek, black, panther with bright, intelligent yellow eyes that took in everything. He watched as his leader entered the house and then slowly turned his eyes right to the very spot in the shape she was peeking from and locked his gaze with hers. She watched in amazement as the fierce and noble creature began to tread back and forth, still keeping his eyes on hers and then laid down to wait for his master's exit. She felt a thrill of excitement shoot through her as she moved back into the hall to get another look at the new arrivals.

_They must be here for alliance negotiations! How exciting!_

But, it was not like Lord Sesshoumaru to miss such an important meeting of state. She had worked tirelessly overseeing the household preparations, as she always did, delegating duties to the servants and pitching in everywhere she could to ensure perfection for their guests, but Lord Sesshoumaru was always home from his patrols several days before hand to make ready as well when he met with other territory leaders.

_What if something has happened to him!_ But before she had time to panic, Jaken turned the corner and ran face first into her.

"Ughff! Rin! What are you doing hiding there?" the little toad squawked.

"Excuse me Master Jaken. I just wanted a better look at the panther demons." she responded lightly.

"Ah! Yes, of course! By the way, you are to be congratulated. This will be a most favorable union." Jaken practically sang.

"Master Jaken, I have nothing to do with this alliance." Rin blushed. _Lord Sesshoumaru must have told Jaken of our conversation_.

"Silly girl! Because of your match to the leader, Master Sesshoumaru will build a very fortunate alliance that will strengthen his territory ten fold! Of course you are to be congratulated!" Jaken responded in a know-it-all voice.

Rin froze and her heart leapt into her throat. _Did he just say 'because of MY match with the leader?'_

"Master Jaken, forgive me, but I believe you are mistaken. There is no match between myself and the panther demon leader." she said in a slightly higher pitched voice. Her heart began to tighten as she remembered Lord Sesshoumaru's words.

"_I wish for you to meet someone."_

"Oh dear." Jaken exclaimed breathily as he goggled at her in alarm with his wide yellow eyes.

"Rin, come sit in the library with me for a moment." He led her into the library and closed the door.

"Master Jaken, please tell me I am not being traded away like some piece of property to be bartered with!" Her heart was still tightening and she was beginning to have trouble breathing.

"I am sorry that you were unaware of what is to transpire, but let me inform you now." He cleared his throat and motioned for her to take a seat. He waited until she did so before he continued in his high giddy voice.

"Master Sesshoumaru has decided that you are old enough to marry and has found the panther demon to be a suitable match for you." He cleared his throat as he saw the look of horror take form on her features.

"You should be grateful girl! The master has gone to a lot of trouble to find you a suitable mate! Besides, you would have been very lonely and unhappy once Lord Sesshoumaru left to complete the treaty in the North."

Rin couldn't believe what she was hearing. Lord Sesshoumaru wanted her out of his life.

_Lonely? _Something struck Rin as strange about how master Jaken had spoken these words.

"Lonely? I would just go with him to the North!" She responded, still trying to wrap her mind around what she had just heard.

_Marry? Me?_

"Foolish girl! You will have no business at the master's mating ritual ceremonies! You would just be in the way as always! And then what are you going to do? The Lord and Lady will be very busy with their new combined territories." Jaken squawked in annoyance.

_WHAT? _Her mind shrieked.

"WHAT?" Rin choked out in shock. "Lord Sesshoumaru is going to be married?"

Jaken eyed her sideways.

"Eh…yes…were you not aware?" But he swallowed hard. He suddenly knew she was not aware of any of this.

He had been with Lord Sesshoumaru and had known about the particulars of the treaty with the North for so long that it had not occurred to him that Rin did not know. Lord Sesshoumaru had indeed softened quite a bit since she had come into his life, but Lord Sesshoumaru had already been promised to another when he was just a young pup. He knew his master would never act on any feelings he might have developed for Rin not only because she was human, but because it would be dishonorable. He had also known Rin her whole life and had deduced her feelings for their master a long time ago. She irritated him to no end, but just the same, she had become a valued companion. His heart broke for her.

"N...n…no, I wasn't aware." She whispered. Tears were welling up in her eyes.

Jaken sighed. She needed to know the whole story. He had only been with Lord Sesshoumaru since after the death of his father, but he knew the story behind the alliance.

"Over a century and a half ago Master Sesshoumaru's father, Inutashio, and the Lord of the North, Lord Masahiro, worked together and formed an alliance. A treaty between the two territories was meant to bring long wanted peace under the combined and powerful rule of the West and the North. As master Sesshoumaru was to inherit the Western Lands, Lord Masahiro's daughter, the Lady Kasumi, was formally betrothed to Lord Sesshoumaru. Master Sesshoumaru performed the first marking ritual at the time the treaty was drafted to show good faith. The treaty was supposed to be completed and the rest of the rituals performed later that month, but Sesshoumaru's mother was unexpectedly attacked and killed by a mysterious force the very night after the Kiss was performed. Lord Inutashio nearly died after his life mate was killed, but he somehow managed to hang onto life. The ceremonies were postponed during those rough times to allow the family time to recover from its loss and to investigate the murder. Sadly, no clue was ever found to lead to the Lady's killer. Several years went by and completion of the treaty was postponed again when the evil demon Ryuukotsusei began ravishing the countryside and ultimately ended up killing Lord Inutashio, who had been trying to defend it as well as defend his human wife and half blood child. Then, it was postponed again when the panther demon tribes of the south declared war against Lord Sesshoumaru's house seeking vengeance for their evil lord's demise at Lord Inutashio's hands some years before. Inuyasha had been sealed to a tree and couldn't fight, and Lord Sesshoumaru had few allies. Many of those that fought for him, that day, lost their lives."

Jaken was silent for a moment giving the girl time to let everything sink in. Rin just sat there. Silent tears rolled down her cheeks. Her heart ached with every word of Jaken's tale.

_He has been through so much! So much loss. So much pain._

Jaken continued. "Lord Sesshoumaru decided to postpone the signing and sealing of the treaty yet again to search for his father's great sword Tetsusaiga, but lost an arm and later almost his life in the process! Then, that stupid half demon, Naraku, needed to die! Now there are no more delays keeping him from completing the ceremonies. Lord Masahiro is ready to relinquish his territories and the time is right."

"Except for me." Rin whispered.

"Eh? What is that you say girl?"

"There are no more delays except for me. I am in his way. I will be in _their _way." She stated in a numb voice, still starring at nothing.

Her heart felt like it was going to explode. Her head swam and her vision was blurred with tears she was trying not to shed. Her Lord Sesshoumaru was betrothed to another! He had already given another woman The Kiss! And she was to be mated to a panther demon she had never met! No! This wasn't happening! She fell to her knees and broke into tears.

"Oh Master Jaken! What am I going to do? He was never mine, I know that, but it hurts so much! I feel like I've lost him forever!" She sobbed, bringing her hands up to cover her face.

Before Jaken could respond, Rin got to her feet and fled from the room. Tears flowed freely down her face as she ran out of the palace, Jaken's screeches and wails echoing behind her. She headed for the forest and never once slowed as she burst into the trees, her heart aching as it pounded in her chest.

_He's going to be married!_

She ran off the path and through the brush swiping at blinding tears as she went. Tree branches scraped at her skin and grabbed at her clothing as she ran, but she couldn't bring herself to care. She didn't know where she was headed, but she couldn't bring herself to care. She just had to be away from here.

_He's going to be married!_

"Rin!" She heard a deep voice calling to her in the distance. She thought she imagined it and kept on running blindly deeper into the forest.

"Rin!" She was suddenly grabbed by her arm, her flight halted.

She let out a mournful sob as she jerked at her arm trying to free herself from a powerful grip and gasping for air, but when she turned to yell at her attacker she choked and swallowed. She starred straight into the amber eyes of the man she loved; the man who would never be hers. Lord Sesshoumaru had returned home.

_**888888**_

Sesshoumaru had not found Kane. He had scoured the countryside looking for the mongrel and found nothing, but there were other signs that were disturbing him. The wildlife in the forests was sharply diminished, and hundreds of trees looked as though they were sick. Their leaves were dry and brittle and their bark was grey. Something was not right in his forests. He investigated a little more to no avail before finally having to call it quits and return home. Lord Kazuo would be there soon and he needed to get back to break the news to Rin. How was he going to give her to the demon as a mate when the demon wasn't going to be able to mark her?

He was pondering this dilemma when he had caught her scent. She smelled strongly of salty tears and her heart was thundering. He found her racing through the trees blindly. She was absolutely racked with sobs and she wasn't paying any attention to where she was going.

_What has happened to her? _His heart gave a quick jerk and worry fluttered in his stomach. He called her name. She didn't respond. He went after her.

_**888888**_

"Rin! What has happened?" He demanded in his deep voice.

She continued to struggle and tears continued to fall from her red rimmed eyes.

"Let go of me!" She begged broken heartedly and struggled even harder to free herself from his grasp.

"Rin! I demand you stop this at once and tell me what has happened!" He commanded a little louder this time. He tightened his grip on her arm, but she struggle even harder.

"No! Let me go! Let…me…go!" She practically screamed at him.

He was so taken aback by her raised voice that he let go of her, but as soon as she bolted he went after her. She was almost wailing now, a pitiful heartbroken noise. He grabbed her again and for lack of any other ideas on how to get her to stop struggling he pulled her roughly to him, drew in his power, and lifted them both into the air. She immediately stopped struggling, giving a startled cry, and wrapped her arms firmly around his neck burying her face against his collarbone. He could feel her shaking but he had startled her enough to stop the sobs. He lifted her high into the sky, far above the tree tops and into the clouds.

"Now. Tell me what has happened." He commanded softly, his voice had returned to its usual bored tone. She felt so warm wrapped in his arms, and her cherry blossom scent clung to every strand of her silky hair. He tried to gain control of his own desires before they got the better of him.

She hiccupped. "I am to be married!" She whispered so quietly that only his demon ears could have picked up the words. She couldn't bring herself to admit to him that the knowledge of his impending marriage to another hurt more than knowing that she herself was to be married to some stranger.

_Gods! Who told her? Jaken. He will pay. _He had meant to break the news to her gently. He knew she wasn't going to be happy about the idea of having to be married and know that she would no longer have a place in his home when he, himself, married.

He tightened his hold around her waist, adjusting her weight to one side to avoid hurting her with his armor's spikes.

"Yes." He whispered the confirmation into her hair.

She let out a small cry and sucked it back in, shivering with her attempts to gain control of herself.

"But what does it matter? I have never been of any use to you or anyone, and your new wife would surely object to such a useless, lowly human in her house!" She said in a sarcastic voice that said all too clearly that she felt as though she had been betrayed. The statement felt like a slap in the face.

_So she knows of my betrothal as well. It is just as well. But how could she think she is of no use? _

"Rin you will look at me." He commanded. She shook her head, still keeping her face to his neck. He could feel her hot tears dripping onto the skin of his neck.

"Rin, you will look at me NOW!" He commanded a little more firmly. She had never disobeyed him.

She slowly tilted her face to him and looked into his eyes. The look of despair on her face made his heart twist into a tight little knot and his mind went blank. She searched his eyes, hazel gaze locked with his golden, waiting for him to say what he wanted to say to her.

_My beautiful Rin. How can I make her smile again?_

"The panther demon…." But he couldn't find the words. His heart began to beat a little faster.

_Such sadness in those lovely eyes! How can I make them sparkle bright and green with happiness again?_

"My marriage to…." He tried again, but words still failed him. His heart was now hammering against his ribs.

_Why can I not block out her scent? Gods how I've missed that smell._

"It has been a long time…." He began again, but still could find no words to make everything right again. His breathing was becoming a little harsh now, as he looked into her sorrow filled eyes. He broke his gaze away from hers and his eyes trailed down the line of her delicate nose and stopped on her soft pink lips.

_How? How can I make her smile again?_ His heart gave a sudden jerk as he was overpowered by the desire to do something he swore he would never do.

"Damn!" He growled roughly and lowered his lips to hers desperately.

He half expected her to struggle, but when she gasped and her heart rate jumped, hot fire shot through his veins. When she tangled her fingers into his hair at the nape of his neck, desire like nothing he had ever felt flooded his entire body. Her lips were soft and moist, and her scent was suddenly drowning him. He tilted his head slightly and lightened the kiss. He tasted her lips running his tongue lightly over them and then nipped at each lip softly with his. He licked her lips again, this time seeking entrance, and when her lips parted with a little moan, he lost himself completely. He drove his tongue into her mouth and thoroughly tasted her. She was sweeter than anything he could ever even have imagined.

_This is madness! This is torture! What am I doing? _His rational demon mind shrieked.

He broke away from her lips only to trail hot kisses down her throat, stopping to scrap sharp teeth against her skin. She shivered and moaned again. It was all he could do to keep from sinking his teeth into her, tasting her, marking her, claiming her.

_No! Never a human! But she's so different from any other human! So different from any other!_

He claimed her mouth once again in a deep and fiery kiss as he began to sink back down to the ground. He could feel her heart racing and he could smell her intoxicating scent.

He lowered her slowly to her own feet, and as soon as her feet touched the ground she went rigid! She jerked back suddenly and pushed away from him. He let her go.

Her heart was threatening to pound its way through her ribcage. She couldn't believe what had just happened! Had he just tried to comfort her? Had he just kissed her?

His lips had been so soft, so warm. His touch had woven a magic through her veins like nothing she had felt before in her life! Master Kane's sloppy kiss that she had thought so intoxicating at the time paled in comparison. She was completely ashamed of her lusty human reaction to his gesture of comfort. She lowered her eyes, unable to look at him.

_What have I done? What must he think of me? _

"Please….do not…I cannot marry the panther demon. Please do not force me."She whispered, still overwhelmed by his kiss. Her heart ached to know that she belonged to another and that she would never feel those lips again. It shamed her more to know that she should be grateful for the match, but that her petty, selfish human heart chose to love only Lord Sesshoumaru.

"I…I love…another." She couldn't bring herself to tell him that it was he that she loved even now, after so shamelessly taking advantage of a much guarded and very rarely bestowed gesture of comfort.

Sesshoumaru watched as a completely unexpected emotion played across Rin's down turned features. Shame was clearly evident in her voice and eyes.

_So it shames her to betray the tiger! Shames her to kiss another! _

Her rejection stung him more than he wanted to admit to even himself. His heart felt as though it was being strangled, and he was suddenly angered at his own stupidity. Ice flooded his heart as he struggled to gain control of his senses again.

_Fool! It matters not that she rejects you!_ His inner voice of reason snapped him back to reality.

She finally looked up at him when he spoke. His voice was cold and detached. His emotionless mask was firmly in place and his eyes were dead. Golden eyes locked with a vulnerable hazel gaze.

"Do as you wish. Do not marry the panther, but in three weeks time, you will leave the palace."

He watched, unmoved, as shock and pain crossed her beautiful eyes.

"Yes M'Lord." She whispered and then swallowed hard, tears dripped over her eyelids, but she held her ground and did not blink or look away.

"Then it seems I will marry after all." Her voice too had suddenly changed. It was also cold and unfeeling.

Sesshoumaru kept his mental grip on his outwardly unfeeling resolve, but suddenly his stomach threatened to make him physically ill.

He vanished.

Rin did not know how long she stood there silent and unmoving, eyes unblinking, trying to make sense of her master's tender and comforting kiss and then his suddenly cold and callous discarding of her. She finally came to the conclusion that he had been disgusted with her human reaction to his kiss; that he now understood her true feelings for him. She had all but said his name when she confessed her love for another! Though she was inexperienced with such things, she was fairly certain that he meant only to comfort her when he had kissed her and she had gone too far!

Well, her mind was made up. Her marriage to the panther demon lord would finally allow her to be of some use to Lord Sesshoumaru and she would effectively be out of his life. He would have what he wanted, just as it should be.

Rin raised her chin and wiped away the tears. _No more! _She would embrace her new life. She headed for the palace with firm acceptance and resolution in her stride.

_**888888**_

Evening had approached too swiftly and Sesshoumaru found himself in the formal ceremony room. Tall candle stands were scattered throughout the room giving off a rich glow and vivid tapestries hung on the walls.

Sesshoumaru stood behind Kazuo to the left and the panther demon's companion stood to the right. The stoic demon lord was holding his breath and trying not to growl as Kazuo held Rin's hand to his lips. She had entered the room with her head held high and had radiated confidence and pride. Not only that, but she was the most stunning vision of perfection he had ever seen.

She wore a deep rose colored outer Kimono with the gossamer light pink sleeves of the inner robe flowing down her arms and a wide lovely pink obi accentuating her slim waist and feminine curves. Her hair was done in an intricate design on top of her head with pale pink and white cherry blossoms carefully weaved into the curls and a few glossy black tendrils of her long hair trailed down her back. Her eyes sparkled and glowed with an almost otherworldly dark hazel green. She blushed when Kazuo and his companion both starred open mouthed at her for a full ten seconds before Jaken cleared his throat.

Sesshoumaru watched with mild irritation as the other male squared his shoulders and stood a little taller. Kazuo stepped forward and bowed. When Rin lowered her eyes and dipped her head he reached out and took her hand and raised it to his lips gently placing a chaste kiss on her palm.

"Lady Rin, it would be an honor if you would consent to be my life mate." He stated.

Rin was immediately drawn to his genuine manner, but still saw that same sorrow she had detected upon first seeing him behind his sky blue eyes. Her heart went out to him, though she knew not what troubled him so.

"The honor would be mine, M'Lord." She responded in a clear unwavering voice as she looked into his eyes. She could not bring herself to look at Lord Sesshoumaru. If she had, she might have seen his eyes flutter ever so slightly when she had responded.

Lord Kazuo let her hand go and turned to Lord Sesshoumaru. Rin looked at her master for the first time since entering the room. He stood tall and elegant in his white attire and full armor, his silver hair cascading down his back. He was so handsome it hurt to look at him. She swallowed and lowered her eyes, just listening now. Her part was done.

"Lord Sesshoumaru, Master of the Western Lands, I, Lord Kazuo, Master of the Central Territories, formally ask permission to take Rin as my life mate and ask for your seal of approval." Lord Kazuo's voice was not as deep or powerful as Lord Sesshoumaru's, but it exuded confidence as he toned the formal request.

Rin's heart jerked as she waited, her eyes still downcast. Her breath came a little faster now.

_This is it. _

"This Sesshoumaru grants you permission to take the Lady Rin, my ward and pack member of the dog-demon clan of the Western lands, as your life mate.

Rin blinked and her head shot up at his words. She found his eyes not on Lord Kazuo, but on her. He had acknowledged her as a pack member! A lump began to form in her throat as the honor of such a thing overwhelmed her. Her gaze locked with his as she continued to fight her tears. For a brief moment, a split second, she thought she saw regret flash in his honey golden eyes.

"The first marking ritual will take place in three weeks in the central territories. At that time, This Sesshoumaru will give his seal." He finished in his monotone voice, his gaze still locked with hers.

"It is done!" Jaken squawked behind her making her jump in surprise.

The room began to spin and Rin suddenly felt very hot and thirsty. The sound of her racing heart was thundering in her ears blocking out all other sound. All she could see were Sesshoumaru's lovely golden eyes. Her legs began to tremble just a little and she felt herself slowly sinking to the floor. Jaken's last words echoed in her mind.

_It is done!_

Then there was nothing but blackness.


	9. Chapter 9

8/23/05

**WARNING!** This chapter contains explicit adult content! If you wish to skip the adult content, please continue reading until you reach the "warning" line. Then just continue to scroll down until you reach the "end of warning" line. **YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!** This story is rated M for a reason. Please do not get upset with me if you are offended by the content in this chapter.

I do not own Inuyasha or its characters.

_**88888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888**_

**Chapter 9: Past Present**

Sesshoumaru had watched as Rin began to fall to the ground and had moved with lightning reflexes. He and Kazuo both suddenly had an arm around the unconscious woman preventing her fall. They stood eye to eye unblinking as their gazes locked. Sesshoumaru had penetrated the panther demon with his unwavering and unfeeling stare while Kazuo held the gaze, a slightly concerned look etching his features. After a moment, Kazuo had let go of Rin and had stepped back. Sesshoumaru had gently lifted the young woman into his arms then.

"Jaken." He called softly, still looking at Kazuo.

"Yes M'lord?" Jaken responded from somewhere behind him.

"See that the contract is drawn up." Lord Sesshoumaru commanded in his bored tone.

"Yes M'lord!" Squawked Jaken

Sesshoumaru had then left the room with the Rin cradled in his arms. He made his way to her chambers and found that his entire being ached to walk slower so that he could hold her just a little longer.

He had to fight to block out her captivating scent.

He had to fight to block out the urge to hold her just a little closer.

He had to fight to block out the urge to brush his lips against her forehead as he carried her.

He had let out an annoyed growl at his obviously growing weakness for her as he lowered her onto her bed, and fled the room before his damnable desires got the better of him. He did not trust his control after their encounter in the forest earlier that afternoon. She had felt so right in his arms and her lips had tasted sinfully rich.

_No! This cannot continue! _He had silently reprimanded himself and then had thanked the gods that she would be gone in three weeks time.

_**888888**_

Several hours later, Sesshoumaru and Kazuo sat across from each other on the floor of the ceremony room. The fire pit roared bright and heat swamped the room. Sesshoumaru sat cross legged, back straight, his wrists resting on his knees and watched Kazuo looking over the specifics of the treaty agreement they had drawn up. He watched as Kazuo signed his name under Sesshoumaru's on the second line of the first set of signature lines. The second set of signatures would be added after the marking rituals were complete. Kazuo set the brush and scroll down and took a shaky breath before looking up at Sesshoumaru.

"This will be a very fortunate alliance." He said in a nervous attempt at a conversational tone.

Sesshoumaru continued to stare at him.

Kazuo's eyes trailed off to some point just past Sesshoumaru's head and they became unfocused.

"It has been a long time, my friend." Kazuo said softly.

He blinked and returned suddenly pleading eyes to Sesshoumaru's face.

"How is she?" He rasped in a low whisper.

"I have not seen her for many years." Sesshoumaru answered softly.

Kazuo lowered his eyes, nodding, and swallowing. He let out a small sigh and starred at some unseen memory going through his mind as Sesshoumaru continued to observe him.

Sesshoumaru took in the sad demon that sat before him. He was no longer the carefree panther he had befriended so many years ago. It seemed that the weight of the world was on his shoulders. He was more serious now and his eyes held such sadness and loneliness. Sesshoumaru knew the cause of this transformation. Indeed he had been a major part of it himself.

Sesshoumaru's eyes fell on the scar across Kazuo's eye and trailed down to the one across his throat. The panther had received the wounds a week before the Sesshoumaru was to perform the first marking ritual with the Lady Kasumi. Almost all of the surrounding territory leaders were traveling to the west to attend the first ceremony or were sending representatives. At the time, Kazuo was just a member of the panther demon clan of the central regions. The leader had no offspring and was ill tempered. The leader had sent Kazuo, or rather, had allowed Kazuo go to represent the central territories.

Sesshoumaru blinked the old thoughts away and reached out and took the scroll, inspected the signatures and rolled it up carefully. He slid it into a leather carrying case and placed it on the floor next to him.

Both demon lords rose to their feet. It was late and Kazuo was to depart early in the morning. Kazuo stood for a moment looking at Sesshoumaru, his brow furrowed and Sesshoumaru knew he wanted to ask him something.

"It is strange is it not? That you are to have the one that I love while I am to have the one you love?" He stated more than asked.

Sesshoumaru's heart jerked and irrational anger bubbled up. _How dare this weak lesser demon assume that this Sesshoumaru suffers such a disgraceful weakness! _But he suddenly found himself angrier that his heart ached strangely every time Rin even entered his thoughts and that those thoughts of her seemed to provoke mindless reactions in him that he couldn't seem to control!

He merely blinked at the panther, raising an eyebrow.

Kazuo's lips thinned as he squeezed them together, but he said nothing more. He bowed, turned, and was gone.

Sesshoumaru slipped into another memory as he picked up the scroll and went about dousing the fire pit.

_He had caught Kasumi sneaking silently out of the palace guest wing and had thought she was trying to flee from her fate. The first marking ritual was to be performed in four days. _

"_Do you flee from me, Kasumi?" He asked in his deep monotone way._

_She gasped and whirled around to face him, completely startled. _

"_Sesshoumaru! No! I was…I…" She didn't finish. Her eyes suddenly turned pleading and she reached out and grabbed the fabric of his sleeve in a death grip. She was trembling._

"_Sesshoumaru, you know I love another!"_

"_And you know that emotions of the heart are meaningless in matters such as these." He responded, anger beginning to build. _

"_I was going to return." She said softly as she lowered her eyes._

"_I just…I wanted to…" She reached up and wiped away a few tears with a shaky hand, the other still gripping his sleeve._

_The truth of the situation suddenly hit him. _

_Of course! The panther demon, Kazuo, had arrived yesterday and was camped at the edge of the forest outside the palace walls. She had been going to him._

_He reached up and patted her hand trying to reassure her. He liked Kazuo, but the panther had nothing. No power, no position or rank, no territories, no armies, nothing. It gave him this awkward feeling of pain in his chest and stomach when he thought about taking Kasumi and marking her as his life mate when he knew another strong, healthy, respectable male had her heart._

"_Go to him." He said to her quietly, and watched as her head snapped up and her eyes flew wide and startled._

"_Sesshoumaru…!"_

_He pried her clenched hand from his sleeve and brought it, palm up to his lips as he had done when he had formally proposed. _

"_I will be here in the morning when you return." He said simply and then let her go and walked away._

_But she returned only a few hours later, bloody and unconscious in the arms of one of Kazuo's panthers. Kazuo had been slumped over the large panther cat face down, pouring blood, it seemed, from everywhere at once. He had been slashed across the face and torn open at the throat, but somehow still clung to life. _

_When Kasumi had regained consciousness a few hours later, she had screamed with utter terror in her voice and had cried mournful, heart wrenching sobs. She wouldn't tell anyone what had happened. She had only calmed when Sesshoumaru had dismissed everyone from her sickroom and had told her that Kazuo still lived. She had told him everything then. Every gory detail. _

_The camp had been taken by complete surprise. No one had seen them, or heard them coming. Their scent wasn't even carried in the air. These unseen creatures seemed to move in the darkness, indeed even use the darkness; no…they were one with the darkness! They attacked savagely and tore everyone apart they came in contact with! She described how she had been grabbed from behind and had felt the slash tear her flesh across her arm as she struggled, but was dropped suddenly when Kazuo had come to her rescue. She had watched in horror as the dark shadows that were their attackers slaughtered everyone, and Kazuo was suddenly struck down and slashed open. She began to sob as she relived the horror. The palace had been made aware of the attack and several of the different territory groups had finally headed out to their defense. Only then did the creatures suddenly retreat! They had seemed to just vanish. _

_She had drawn in a deep shuttering gasp and breathed out an anguished whisper before she lost consciousness again._

"_Kazuo!" _

Sesshoumaru blinked, coming out of the memory. He found himself in his bedchambers, standing at the window. He had been so lost in his thoughts he hadn't even realized he had left the ceremony room. He looked out the window into the night and caught the scent of a storm coming. His thoughts wondered again as he moved around the room getting ready to bed down for the night.

_Four days had passed since the attack. The search party had found no trace of the mysterious creatures, not even a body! It had seemed that they took their dead with them. The search party only babbled about insignificant things like the forest trees having turned grey and sickly._

_Kazuo and two other panthers were the only survivors from their group of ten. Kasumi had visited her "savior's" sick room everyday and he was healing swiftly, and the day of the first marking ritual had arrived._

_Several hours before the ritual was to begin, his closest friend, and future wife stood before him sobbing brokenheartedly, her face in her hands. He had wanted to ease her troubled heart, but he had no clue how to go about it. He took her hands from her face and squeezed them lightly as tears flowed freely down her face. Taking a deep breath, she looked at him with bright hazel eyes that glowed with brilliant green flecks and nodded, signaling that she was ready._

_Sesshoumaru had found himself standing before a radiantly beautiful and confident Kasumi in the ceremony room with guests surrounding them. Her fiery red hair was done in a complicated design on top of her head and she wore pearl combs that matched her ivory and lace wedding robes. The two held hands and faced each other and her father placed his hands surrounding theirs and spoke his seal of approval. Sesshoumaru had felt the power of the seal surrounding them and soaking into them as the Northern lord spoke. _

"_I, Lord Masahiro, Lord of the Northern lands, father of Lady Kasumi, give my approval of her match to Sesshoumaru, son of Lord Inutashio, Master of the Western lands." He toned in a deep authoritative voice._

_Sesshoumaru had begun to gather his own power and had begun to focus it for its intended purpose as he looked into Kasumi's glowing hazel green eyes. He had seen so much sadness in them!_

_He leaned down and softly brushed her lips with his own and released his power over them. He felt it gather and sink into them as he kissed her. When it was complete, he broke away from her and looked into her eyes once more. Gone was the sadness. She stared up into his eyes now with complete adoration._

"_The first mark is done!" Masahiro had toned loudly and the crowd had erupted with tremulous cheers and applause. _

_Sesshoumaru's eyes locked on one lone figure leaning in the shadows at the back of the room who was not applauding. Kazuo's eyes did not leave Kasumi's face as she beamed up at Sesshoumaru, her heart's desire seemingly forgotten. It was then that Kazuo had turned his gaze to Sesshoumaru. Blue ice locked with golden fire for a moment and then Kazuo lowered his eyes, giving a slight bow, and left the room. _

That was the last time Sesshoumaru had seen Kazuo until this evening.

He caught her scent suddenly and then a knock at the door brought him out of his reminiscent mood.

"Hai. Nanica?" He called out softly as he continued to stare out the window into the night.

He heard her slide the door open slowly and heard her breath catch, smelled her tears. He turned then, and looked at her. She stood in the doorway unmoving. She appeared slightly rumpled as though she had been tossing in her bed. Her hair fell around her shoulders in thick waves of ebony silk and she was wrapped in the iridescent pale pink inner kimono she had worn earlier. She clutched it to her chest as though she was afraid it would slip and fall, but it was so thin and light that it left little to the imagination anyway. It clung to every feminine curve. Her pale shoulders were bare and her creamy skin glowed in the candle light. Her large eyes glowed dark and sultry in the soft light as she looked at him. He felt his blood stir as he took in the alluring sight of her.

He waited for her to make her reasons for coming to him known, but instead she stood unmoving and silent. He let out a soft sigh and stalked, bare chested and bare foot, towards her since she didn't appear to be coming any further. He stopped just in front of her, so close they were almost touching. He could smell her sweet scent, so delicate and so close he could almost taste her. He slowly reached up behind her and slide the door closed, never taking his eyes from her face. Instead of dropping his arm, he leaned against the door and brought his other arm up not touching her, but leaning against the wall behind her on her other side, and leaned down so close to her he could feel her hot breath on his skin.

"Rin." He said her name softly.

"What do you want?" He purred in his masculine whisper.

"Sesshoumaru-sama I beg you!" She whispered.

"Pl…please do not force me to marry Lord Kazuo! PLEASE!" She choked out.

The reminder of her impending marriage left a foul taste in his mouth and he backed away from her, turning his back and stopping a few feet away from her.

"It is done." He said in his bored tone.

"Please master! Please…I …I love another…" But before she could say anything else he had suddenly whipped around and was just as suddenly gripping her upper arms holding her close to him, her feet almost off the floor.

"ENOUGH!" He barked, jealously beginning to break through his control and cloud his mind.

"I will force him from your mind once and for all!" He rasped harshly and then crushed his lips against hers.

He felt her tense immediately and knew she was shocked, but he didn't care. He only had one desire, one care at that moment. He needed her to desire him and him alone! He pulled away from her mouth, his breath coming raggedly as he searched her hazel gaze. He could hear her heart pounding and could smell her sweet intoxicating scent. That scent was his undoing.

He leaned down and captured her mouth again, urgently forcing her soft pink lips apart with his tongue and plunging it deep into her hot mouth. He let out a harsh sigh and sucked his breath in again as he continued to taste and explore her sweet mouth, but it wasn't enough! She stood shaking and barely responding. He wanted her screaming his name!

**_8888 _WARNING _8888_ WARNING _8888_ WARNING _8888 _WARNING _8888 _WARNING _8888 _WARNING _8888 _**

He tore away from her mouth and abruptly picked her up bridal style and took the few strides across the room to his bed, her soft gasp of surprise merely fueling his desire for her. He laid her down on the crimson sheets with a sense of urgency, his heart beginning to pound as he looked at her in his bed. He kneeled on the bed and leaned down over her grasping her robe and forcefully tearing the sheer fabric away from her small body. She gasped again and moved to try to cover herself, but he caught her wrists in his strong hands. He moved both of her wrists to one hand and then sat back to take in her magnificence. She made no other protest; rather, she laid back and watched him with a deep hazel green gaze as he observed her. Her breath came short and ragged and he could hear her heart pounding loud and fast. Every inch of her skin was flawless. Her perfectly formed breasts rose and fell with each of her breaths, her nipples taunt and ready to be tasted. His gaze continued down her body, past her firm slim stomach to her hips that flared out slightly and then on down to stop at the patch of dark curls between her flawless thighs.

He groaned as he took in the sight of her and felt himself grow almost instantly rock hard. He leaned down, stretching her hands above her head and claimed her mouth again. She kissed him back hesitantly at first, and when her tongue met his, fire ripped though his body. He groaned again and pulled his mouth away from hers to trail kisses down her slim neck to pause at her collar bone. He breathed deeply squeezing his eyes shut to gain control of his overpowering need, his hot breath on her skin. Once he was sure he could continue he went lower, kissing her chest and then softly brought his lips to one soft breast and then the other. It pleased him to feel her arching her back as his lips trembled over each nipple. He let her hands go and continued to trail kisses down her body as she clutched the sheets in her fists and moaned softly.

_She will scream my name before this night is over!_ He promised himself determinedly as he continued his assault.

When he reached the soft curls between her thighs she gasped and squeezed her legs together, but he would have none of that! He growled as he sat up and took hold of her knees forcing them apart. She whimpered as he moved between them and then moved back down to her most intimate spot. He brought one hand up to grasp her hip as he slightly parted the soft lips of her womanhood with his other fingers revealing the glistening flushed pink flesh of her clit. He leaned down and flicked his tongue across the small sensitive bud and had to close his eyes and fight the urge to spend himself right there when she gasped and bucked her hips. Using just the tip of his tongue he lightly teased just that one aching spot as she writhed. Her breath became shorter and she moaned softly as she moved her hips. He continued to torture her with the light flicks of his hot tongue until he felt her beginning to tremble and she threw her head back and moaned louder.

"Pl…please! Ughhh!"

Slowly he pushed one long finger into her tight, slick passage and firmly pressed his mouth to her soft folds, brushing and circling her entire clit with his tongue as he began to pump his finger in and out of her. Her moans grew louder and harsher as his ministrations became firmer and more urgent. His manhood was throbbing painfully now as she moaned and bucked beneath him. He began to wonder if this was torturing him more than it was her as he fought off another wave of desire that threatened to release his most predatory instincts.

She continued to moan and began to whimper louder as he ran his tongue from her opening all the way back to her throbbing bud.

"Ughh! Master! Ohhh!"

She was so close, he was sure, but he pulled away from her, his breath harsh as he took in the sight of her. She was trembling now and her eyes sparkled with fiery desire as she looked at him.

_Her desire is for me! _He growled inwardly, almost trying to convince himself, as he looked down at her.

He kneeled on his knees between her spread legs and untied the strings of his pants, never taking his eyes off of her. He spilled over his pants as he lowered them down his hips and he ached to bury himself in her this instant, but he wanted to hear her scream his name first.

_She is mine! She will think of only me! She will desire only me!_

He lowered himself onto her and settled between her legs bringing his length to rest on her pulsating bud. She moaned again and brought her arms up around his back pulling him closer still. He began to move slowly, dragging the tip of his arousal across her sensitive bundle of nerves and she caught her breath. He moved, gaining a rhythm, knowing that she was so close to her release.

"My name…" He whispered into her hair as he closed his eyes and fought the urge to bury himself deep inside her tight wet passage.

_No one else!_

"M…master…Ughhh!" She groaned passionately.

He growled as he thrust his thick shaft across her folds again.

"Say….say my name…my given name…" He found himself begging as he began to tremble with his struggle for restraint.

"Ohhh….unmmm….Se…Sesshoumaru!" She cried out breathlessly as her body went rigid and he felt tremors going through her.

He felt her release and moved himself to her opening as she bucked against him. Another wave of ecstasy hit her and she cried out again, screaming this time.

"SESSHOUMARU!"

**_8888 _END OF WARNING _8888 _END OF WARNING _8888 _END OF WARNING _8888 _END OF WARNING _888_**

Sesshoumaru bolted upright in bed and looked around wildly in the darkness, his heart pounding and his erection painful. He reached down and grabbed his stiff and aching shaft, groaning as a fiery wave of desire shot through him suddenly remembering his dream. But, just as suddenly, ice filled his veins as he realized that he could still hear Rin's screams, but they were coming from her own bedroom and they were not passion filled screams. Her screams were laced with sheer terror.


	10. Chapter 10

(08/23/05)

I do not own Inuyasha or its characters.

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**Chapter 10: Things That Go Bump In The Night**

Sesshoumaru materialized in Rin's room in the next instant and took in every detail in the blink of an eye. Rin stood in her nightgown with her back against the far wall across from the window. She gripped her short staff in a white-knuckled grasp and her eyes were wide with terror as she stared at the window. He sensed her heart beat racing and smelled the fear rolling off of her in waves.

"There's…there's…s..s..something trying to get into my w..window!" She whispered hoarsely, her eyes glued to the window.

Lightning flashed outside and a bulky black silhouette outlined her window. In a flash, Sesshoumaru was at the window, his arm shot out to grab the intruder, vaguely aware that he had gashed his arm on the splintered wood of the windowsill. He grabbed only emptiness a he tried to catch sight of the fleeing figure, but could see nothing but the blackness of night. Just then, Lord Kazuo burst through the door, his snow white hair unbound and flowing around him, his eyes glowing a demonic ice blue, his knives brandished and ready for battle. Jaken came toddling right behind him with two sharp, needle like knives held firmly in his grasp.

"Kazuo, stay with her. Jaken, stay outside the door and make sure nothing enters though it." Lord Sesshoumaru commanded in an emotionless tone, making it clear that there would be no argument, and vanished into the night in pursuit of the elusive intruder.

Into and beyond the forest, throughout the night, soaked in the rain, Lord Sesshoumaru found no trace of the intruder. As dawn approached he made his way back to the palace. At first he had thought that perhaps it had been Kane, but the tiger demon had a distinct scent. What ever this had been left no scent at all. What had it been? What was this creature that carried no scent, made no sound, left no tracks and disappeared without a trace?

As Sesshoumaru approached the edge of the tree line near the palace walls he began to notice how grey and brittle the trees looked. The sounds of forest life were absent as well, no crickets chirped, no fireflies blinked.

_Strange_. He thought to himself as he made his way towards the back of the structure.

His arm was throbbing a little now and he was slightly annoyed to find it dripping blood. He still only wore the casual, loose pants he slept in and wore no shirt. Blood trickled easily down his bare arm from the wound. A brief cloud of dizziness floated through him, but he shook it off angrily. The wound was too insignificant to warrant any kind of physical reaction.

_I must be more fatigued than I was aware._

He approached Rin's window and could see where the intruder had been clawing its way through the sill. It must have been too big to get through because it looked as though it was trying to widen the window. The sill was jaggedly ripped and splintered, and bits of wood from the sill had been torn away and were scattered on the ground, but suddenly something else grabbed his attention as he reached the window. Directly under it was a mound of upturned earth. And then a smell caught his nose. He noticed a light grey substance dripping off a particularly sharp piece of splintered windowsill. It reeked of a foul, nauseating odor that he had never smelled …no…he had smelled this scent…once before.

He shook is head as another slightly stronger wave of dizziness washed over him. This one was accompanied by a sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Somewhere in the recesses of his mind, a door unlocked and a wave of memories came flooding into his mind.

_It had been the night of the first marking ritual. He had completed the Kiss and he and Kasumi were discussing how they chose to complete the next mark. Traditionally, the next mark, Branding, was given during a sexual act, and then shown off during the official ceremony, but Sesshoumaru did not feel comfortable, or particularly aroused by the thought of marking his long time friend who had only hours ago been in love with another. He had decided to talk Kasumi into allowing him to complete the next mark ceremonially, and on the collarbone instead of the breast. But just as she was giving in to his argument he had heard it. His father's howl was the most anguished sound he had ever heard before in his life._

_Several hours later, Master Kenta, the healer, and Lord Masahiro would not allow him to see his father. Lord Inutashio had been rampaging through the palace and they had been forced to lock him in his chambers. He howled for hours yelling the same thing over and over again._

"_She's dead! She's dead! She's dead!"_

_Sesshoumaru had been forbidden from entering his mother's chambers as well. The smell of blood was thick in the air and he feared the worst. Perhaps she had gone into premature labor. The pup she carried had not been due for several months still. A ward had been placed around the room preventing him from just materializing into the room, so he decided to take a less dignified route. He had stormed around the outside of the palace fully intending to crawl through the window, but just as he rounded the corner he had tripped over a large mound of dirt. Growling, he shot to his feet and approached his mother's window vowing to kill the gardeners for leaving not just one, but five of such dirt mounds cluttering his mother's gardens. The insolent fools had already allowed his mother's favorite cherry tree over by the bathhouse to wilt and turn grey with sickness. The ruin of her gardens was unforgivable. _

Sesshoumaru clutched his now very painful wound and gritted his teeth. Another wave of nausea went through him and he sank to his knees as another memory crashed over him.

_He had reached his mother's window when the smell hit his nose. It was coming from a thick grey substance on the edges of the splintered windowsill and smelled sour and acrid like rotting flesh, but different. The scent of his mother's blood was also thick in the air wafting from the window. Determination firm in his mind, he gracefully hopped up into the window and began to pull himself inside but was suddenly frozen in place by the horror before his eyes. _

_Blood was splattered everywhere. Thick chunks of flesh clung to places on the walls and on the ceiling. A bloody mass was covered by a sheet lying in the middle of the floor. His mind wouldn't register what it was that he was looking at as he continued to scan the room for any signs of his mother when he saw the hair protruding from the mass that was covered by the sheet. The room began to spin as realization hit him. He had flung himself away from the window into the dirt outside the window and had retched. He had dry heaved for several minutes, the image of his mother dead, his unborn sibling dead, burned in his memory. He closed his mind from the thoughts, taking deep cleansing breaths and slowly regained his composure. The pain subsided after a while and he was once again in control of his emotions. His mother was dead. His father would surely follow his mate shortly. He would track down the attackers and kill every last one of them._

Sesshoumaru came out of his memory with a jolt.

_Rin._

An image of the grey, dying trees, the sour smelling undefined grey substance on the windowsill, and the mounds of upturned earth flashed across his mind.

_Rin!_

Pain shot through him as he began to gather his power into himself. His chest began to ache as he drew breath. Vaguely he heard a voice in the back of his mind telling him something wasn't right, but he had no time to concern himself with personal ailments. He had to make sure Rin was all right.

He materialized in Rin's room and quickly located the young woman. She was crouched in the corner of the room opposite the window, her staff still in her hands.

"M'lord!" She exclaimed, getting to her feet, but she froze as she took in the sight of him.

_He's hurt. _Her heart leapt into her throat as she watched his blood flow down his arm and drip off his fingertips onto the floor in disbelief and worry. She had only ever seen him hurt once before in her life.

_What is this force that can hurt my great lord_?

He did not take his eyes from Rin, but he sensed it when Lord Kazuo got up from his post by the window and left the room without saying a word.

_She's safe._ He slowly began to make his way to her, scanning her for any signs of injury.

_She's alive._ He could feel his body beginning to tremble with the force of his relief combined with the strange haziness that seemed to be weighing him down.

_She has not been torn to pieces_. Images of his mother began to cloud his thoughts. He suddenly felt so heavy.

_Those creatures did not get to her like Mother._

His heart ached and his vision was oddly blurred as he stopped in front of Rin. More memories of that horrible night flashed through his mind and he found himself on his knees before her. He reached out suddenly and grabbed her, pulling her to him, wrapping his arms around her waist and burying his face in her stomach, aching for the comfort that her closeness always seemed to bring him. He clenched his jaw and squeezed his eyes shut trying to block out the memories, but they would not stop.

A sharp mournful sound echoed in the room and he was startled to realize that it had come from him. Rin's scent was sweet and delicate and she was so soft and warm. Her hands stroked his head and tangled in his long hair and he heard her voice coming to him from a sea of long forgotten grief.

"Master, I am not harmed." She whispered. Her soft familiar voice seemed to wash all of the sadness from him as he held onto her.

One lone thought dashed across his mind as blackness overcame him and he lost his battle for consciousness.

_Rin. My Rin is all right_

_**888888**_

Rin had been scared out of her mind! She remembered restlessly tossing in her bed when she heard the loud crunching of her windowpane as it was being ripped apart. A huge shadow appeared to be trying to crawl into her room and it made no sound. It didn't growl, it didn't snarl or speak. It just tore at her window trying to squeeze its huge proportions through the opening. She had screamed in shock and fear, stumbling out of bed to grab her short staff. The name of her master was what had tumbled out of her mouth as she screamed again, and just like that he had appeared. Lord Sesshoumaru had materialized in the blink of an eye, and had immediately lunged for the creature at the window.

The moment he had appeared she had known she would be all right, but she couldn't help the trembling in her body. Lord Kazuo and Master Jaken had both come bounding into her room shortly after Lord Sesshoumaru had appeared, but by then the creature had gone. Lord Sesshoumaru had barked short commands to Kazuo and Jaken before abruptly vanishing. She had settled into the corner of her room to await her master's return, her betrothed respectfully sitting across the room by the window, and Master Jaken standing guard just outside the door.

Hours had passed and Rin could almost feel dawn approaching when Lord Sesshoumaru had finally reappeared, but his appearance did nothing to calm her nerves. He was pale and he swayed slightly as though he was having difficulty standing. His eyes were red rimmed and his breathing appeared labored. But what had scared her the most was the blood running down his arm to drip onto the floor. He had taken a few labored steps to her and had sunk to his knees before her. Her heart ached as she watched him struggle with some inner torment. He had reached out suddenly pulling her close, wrapping his arms around her waist, his strong hands on her back, and had pressed his face to her stomach. Tears threatened to fall and her throat tightened painfully when he let out an utterly mournful sob. Worry sickened her as she stroked his head and hair trying to calm him. She was unaccustomed to his distress and found herself almost desperate to ease his discomfort somehow.

_Was he that worried about me? What has happened to him?_

But just as she began to voice her reassurances, he had lost consciousness for only the second time in the ten years she had known him.

Rin's heart had jerked into her throat when he sank to the floor. His hair sprawled out around him as he lay there motionless. She dropped to her knees immediately.

"Master!" She shrieked as she pulled his head into her lap. She couldn't make out his breathing at all.

"Sesshoumaru-sama!" She yelled at him, shaking him slightly, tears beginning to roll down her face.

"MASTER JAKEN HELP!" She cried out desperately as she cradled his still form in her trembling arms.

_Oh Gods! Please don't let him die!_

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Okay, so this is where I left off on and as well, so now everyone is caught up. It may take me a few weeks to update from here, but I'll try to update sooner than that. Thanks everyone for reading! Please review! Even non-members can leave a review! Just click the drop down box below that says "Submit Review", make up a name for yourself, and leave me some feedback. Do you like my story? What do you like/don't like? Any pointers? Thanks!


	11. Chapter 11

09/05/05

A/N: hello All! Thanks for the reviews! This was a difficult chapter to write, mostly because I just wanted to skip it and go right to the next, which I am soooo excited about! Anyway, here you go! I didn't have anyone look it over before I posted, so, sorry for the mistakes.

I do not own Inuyasha or its characters.

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**Chapter Eleven: What Secrets Lie in Oblivion **

The creature came to rest in the dark recesses of the cave, his beady eyes perfectly adjusted to the dim light, and snarled in rage.

"Fucking InuYokai!" He hissed as he began to pace back and forth.

"The master will not be pleased by this at all!"

Thoughts of hatred and death came crashing through his inferior mind remembering his master. He had dreamed up a thousand different deaths for his master, each more gruesome than the last. But, he had served this powerful and hated demon for centuries now.

_All for what?_

He could barely remember why he, the most feared and respected, the most powerful of his kind, was bowing to this demon.

But, remember he did.

_The treasure_.

The master had promised the sword as payment all those centuries ago. The sword of life was a valuable piece of treasure. He ached with the need that had grown in him for the sword. Yes. He was loyal for that reason alone.

He sneered as a particularly horrid fantasy of his master's death played out across his mind. And then inspiration took hold of him.

_The other sword. _

_The one called Tokijin. _

_It could be powerful enough to kill the master. Perhaps it is time to stop playing the master's games. Perhaps it is time to kill the master and just take the treasure myself. _

Just as the treacherous thoughts entered the creature's mind, flames erupted throughout the cavern crawling along the walls and effectively blocking off his escape. He was surrounded by the thick hot waves. A terrible voice echoed through the cavern as fear began to take hold of him.

"You have returned empty handed." It said smoothly, with no hint of emotion.

"You have failed again. This time, you will die." The deep, evil voice of his master stated as simple fact.

The waves of fire began to swell and expand inward on the cowering creature.

"M…master…pl…please wait!" The creature begged as it tried to curl into the smallest amount of space possible and searching through the flames for any indication as to where his master might be standing.

"The demon lord came in…and…and then so did the panther…Agh!...and the toad!" Each word became higher pitched as the flames drew nearer.

"I think the demon lord may be wounded, and…and…" He threw out any and all bits of information hoping to catch the master's interest.

"And…the panther is there as a guest! The rumors of a match must be true! M…master…please! She is no longer a threat! " The flames came to a halt.

For several moments the demon cowered in the silence, the hot flames licking at the hairs protruding from his rough skin, and then the master's voice came to him through the scorching heat.

"This information pleases me, and for that reason alone I shall allow you to keep your life."

The flames began to recede and extinguish. Darkness crept back into the cavern; the master's final statement echoing throughout.

"If you should fail again in anything else, you will die."

The creature's heart raced and he could feel the tremors of fear shivering through his body, but anger was swiftly growing and overtaking all other feelings.

_Yes, it is time to end my servitude. I will not play his games any longer. I will call him 'Master' no more! He will die!_

He could feel a warm satisfying feeling filling him as he plotted just how he would kill the master and take the treasure that was rightfully his.

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A week had passed since Lord Sesshoumaru had fallen ill and he had yet to wake from his feverish death like sleep. Rin lay at the side of his plush pallet. She had been watching the sleeping figure in the dim candle light when she had drifted off to sleep. His fever had finally broken only just the night before and he had finally stopped thrashing and mumbling in his unconscious state. He seemed to rest peacefully for the first time in days. He was so pale; his hollow cheeks almost a grayish color. His breathing was labored, but finally calm.

She had not left his side for more than a moment's time all week, wiping his brow with cool cloth and constantly dripping water through his parted lips. He had whispered hoarse broken statements of his mother dying several times throughout his fever, but two nights ago he had whispered her name. She had thought she had imagined it, but when she had looked down at him, his eyes were thin slits of a golden gaze on her. He had swallowed and whispered again, so softly she could barely make out his words.

"Rin,… my…" But then he appeared to have passed out again.

Her heart had leapt into her throat as she bolted to his side with a cool rag to wipe is brow gently.

"Master….?" She whispered lightly to him as she watched for any indication that he might still be conscious. She had stared so intently that she had jumped in surprise when a warm drop of liquid had suddenly splashed onto his cheek. She could not hold back her tears as they trickled down her cheeks and chin. He did not stir. Not a flutter of an eyelash. Nothing. That night he seemed to get even worse and Master Kenta had even told her to prepare herself for the worst. She had cried for him the rest of that night. Her heart was breaking. Her world was crashing down all around her. What was she to do without him?

She had stayed by his side, watching his chest rise and fall, listening to every single intake and release of his breath. Her small hand stayed on his chest, feeling every single beat of his heart. And with every breath, every beat of his heart she wondered if it was to be his last. Her tears did not stop for days, and she did not take her eyes from him for a single moment until Master Kenta had finally told her that his fever had broken. She had fallen into an exhausted sleep after that.

Now she lay at the side of his bed having continued her silent vigil over him.

Sesshoumaru seemed to drift in a thick hazy fog. He swam through it fighting for something. He wasn't sure what. Light pierced through his brain and he squeezed his eyes shut. His head was getting clearer now. He was vaguely aware that he was nestled deep into soft pillows. His bed. He was lying in his bed.

He inhaled deeply as he fought to open his eyes and gave up for a moment and just listened. The familiar scent of his room, his sheets, and his pillows surrounded him, but another sweeter, more feminine scent that was foreign to his room was present.

_Rin_.

He took another breath, inhaling deeply, and slowly opened his eyes, squinting in the dim candle light. Rin lay at his side just barely off his bed. Her eyes were closed, her breathing even, her brow etched with worry. He smelled her tears and saw the dark circles under her closed eyes.

It took all of his energy, but he reached his hand to her and gently pushed a strand of thick hair from her face. His energy now drained he dropped his hand and closed his eyes to the sleep that demanded his attention.

Rin opened her eyes slowly. She had felt the lightest brush against the skin of her cheek. Lord Sesshoumaru still lay sleeping beside her.

_**88888**_

Flash

_He stood bare foot in the sand watching as the waves rolled in. He felt oddly numb as he reached out and let the ashes in his hand filter through his fingers into the rolling sea. His mother had loved the sea. His heart jerked at a sudden thought and his hand began to tremble. He wondered if his unborn sibling would have loved the sea too._

Flash

_His father stood at the window in the library, tall and powerful. _

"_You betrayed her." Sesshoumaru said. Anger boiled through his veins as he watched his father turn to him. _

"_You are angry with me for living, is that it?" The Western Lord asked his son._

_Sesshoumaru's eyes bled red and his claws lengthened. He widened his stance preparing for the attack._

"_Your marks were false! Everyone in the land will see that you have lived while your mate has died! You dishonor her! All will believe that you kept her as a concubine!" He yelled, and then he lunged._

_His father was quick. There was no impact as Sesshoumaru brought his claws, dripping with poison, through the air._

"_Sesshoumaru. Stop this! We had the ceremonies. There were witnesses. We had a seal of approval. No one questions my loyalty to your mother." Inutashio explained, trying to calm his son._

"_I question it!" Sesshoumaru spat._

"_She has been gone a month and you have already taken that human to your bed! I can smell it you know. I can smell the hanyou growing in the human's womb!"_

_His heart was clenched in pain at the thought of his dead sibling. He had wanted a sibling. A sister or brother. His mother had wanted it. He had wanted it. But not this hanyou. It would not, could not, replace the one that was lost. _

_Sesshoumaru saw the anger building in his father. He had hit a weakness. Good._

"_If you are concerned about your status as the heir to the West being questioned, let me assure you that your title is safe! And…you will continue with this treaty!" He growled and then vanished._

_The comment had felt like a slap in the face. He had been so angry. So hurt. He had not even thought about his inheritance, or of the treaty. How dare his father accuse him of such heartlessness! _

_The human has poisoned his mind. He is not the same. _

_Perhaps his father had indeed died with his mother._

Flash

_The little human child was bruised and battered, toothless and dirty. She was obviously an outcast among her own kind, mistreated and neglected, but she fearlessly, or perhaps stupidly, continued to try and save him, a demon. When she smiled the first time, something in him loosened. Some tight ache eased._

Flash

_Hazel eyes haunted his dreams. The scent of cherry blossoms lingered in the air. The delicate sound of feminine laughter echoed through the palace._

Flash

_Her lips had been so soft. So tender and sweet. He had wanted to devour her. He had wanted to take her right then. His need for her was growing painfully and there was only one way to ease it. She had to be his. His Rin. _

"My…my Rin…" She was there now, watching over him. Worry was clear in her eyes. Then she was gone, but before she faded completely he heard her whisper to him, trying to call him back.

"Master….?"

_But it cannot be._

Flash

_She stood hand in hand beside Lord Kazuo. Her eyes locked with his own. She mouthed the words "Yes, M'lord" as a single tear slid down her cheek. _

_His heart squeezed inward as he realized that she was merely obeying his command to marry the panther. She would never disobey him. He had commanded it and now it tortured him._

_But suddenly she was in the arms of Master Kane. Her eyes were filled with a misty, false passion now. She loved Kane! That insolent tiger had taken her first kiss! He had marked her! He had not given her the choice! _

_She should have loved me! _

_Rage burned through him and his sight bled to crimson hues. He could no longer contain it. He let out a growl that became a roar._

_**88888**_

Sesshoumaru lashed out and shred the object before him with his whip, still yelling in fury. Feathers floated to the floor. He stood still then, and listened, his eyes adjusting to the darkness. There was no sound but the distant rumble of the waves crashing onto the beach. He could smell the faint scent of Rin in his rooms and a growl reverberated in his chest.

_Where is she! She is with Kane! _His inner voice poisoned his thoughts. Jealousy pulsed through him.

"RIN!" he yelled.

"Master Sesshoumaru!" It was Master Kenta, Rin's healing arts master.

"Where is she?" Sesshoumaru asked, his heart hammering. He felt weak and drowsy. He needed fresh air. He staggered over to the window.

"She…she stepped out for only a moment." Master Kenta responded in confusion.

"M'lord, how are you feeling?" Kenta asked as he began to approach the disoriented demon lord.

"What happened?" Sesshoumaru asked mildly as he steadied himself. He could feel his calm returning to him, his head clearing as he stared out into the night.

"It was a poison, M'lord. It entered you blood stream when you injured your arm on Rin's window pane."

"I am immune to poisons." Sesshoumaru responded simply.

"Yes M'lord, but the attacker left behind some secretion that I cannot identify. It is the only explanation."

"Is it still alive? It was the same creature that killed my mother many centuries ago. I wish to see it tortured for daring to attack what is mine again."

Silence filled the room.

Sesshoumaru turned to face the suddenly pale healing master and raised a questioning eyebrow.

"M…m…master, it…ah…it was not captured. We have found no trace of it."

"Then have Jaken prepare a hunting party. It can't have gotten far." Sesshoumaru commanded as he looked out into the darkness once more.

"Ah…M'lord…we already…it has been…you have…" Sesshoumaru heard the healer swallow audibly and detected his heartbeat increasing. He was about to defy his order.

Faster than lightening Sesshoumaru had Kenta's throat in his grasp and lifted.

"What were you about to say?" He asked mildly, daring the demon to continue his refusal. His head was beginning to ache with from the little bit of exertion and he was not in a very tolerant mood.

"Fourteen…fourteen…agh…" But Kenta passed out. Sesshoumaru dropped him. He had caught the scent of cherry blossoms.

"Master…you have been unconscious for fourteen days." Rin's soothing tones came to him from the doorway.

He did not turn around.

_Fourteen days! _

"I heard you call my name…"

"Were you injured?" He asked, an odd sense of, was it…shame, began to form in his chest. He did not turn to look at her.

_Fourteen days!_

"No M'lord."

Relief washed over him.

_But, I failed to capture the attacker. My mother's attacker. Rin almost fell to them and I failed again._ The voice of shame whispered to him, driving him just a little mad.

He felt the lightest touch on his bare arm and looked down at the small hand.

"M'lord, do you not remember? You saved me." She whispered.

He looked down into her eyes then and saw fresh tears glistening in them. He remembered. He remembered her screams of terror. His name on her lips. The fear that had shot through him when he had heard that terror.

"Why do you cry?" He asked softly.

She suddenly reached out and embraced him fiercely, her cheek against his bare chest, her small hands around his back tangling into his long hair.

"M'lord, I was so scared. I…I just…I felt so helpless and it was all my fault." She whispered. "You would not have fallen had I been such a weak human." She sniffled.

His body reacted to her touch like wild fire. Desire shot through his weakened body and he had to take several slow cleansing breaths to maintain his control. He did not return the embrace.

_She is wrong. Her life was in danger, yet again, because of me. Because she is mine_.

_No, she is not mine any longer_.

He grabbed her by the arms and forced her away from him.

"Rin, you know you are a target for the enemies of this Sesshoumaru." He stated as he backed away from her.

_Control. _He reminded himself as he tried to block out he scent.

"Yes master, but…" But he interrupted her.

"You will no longer be as such once you have been mated to Lord Kazuo." He stated in his mild tone, but jealousy fluttered through him.

How simple it would be to just forget about the treaty, about his promise to his father.

_You cannot back down. She must be gone. The treaty with the North is too important to throw away over a simple human and your weak heart. _His inner voice of reason reminded him as the taint of jealousy continued its assault.

Her eyes fluttered at his words and he could sense her heart beat changing. She lowered her eyes.

"Yes, Master." She whispered and then she turned and left. He could smell her salty tears all through the rest of the night.


	12. Chapter 12

09/12/05

A/N: Thank-you all for your reviews and your constant support! I am so glad that you are all enjoying my story!

WARNING: This chapter contains some sexually explicit content. Please read until you reach the 'WARNING' line, and then scroll through until the 'ENDWARNING' line if you do not wish to read the sexual content.

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**Chapter Twelve: Last Night, Last Chance**

Two days later they left for the central region. Rin's final departure from the palace was a sad one. Her instructors and all of the servants had gathered to say a tearful good-bye. She would miss them all so much.

They traveled in silence for three days only stopping to rest in the evenings when the sun was setting and then rose early each morning to resume their trek east. Rin said next to nothing and only to Jaken when she had to speak. The thick lump in her throat and the stinging tears that threatened to fall if she had to address her stoic master were enough to keep her silent most of the day.

Lord Sesshoumaru disappeared into the darkness each night as usual and Rin was left alone with a crackling fire, Jaken's snores, and Ah-Un's rumbling but steady breathing. All these familiar and comforting sounds she had grown up with now taunted her. This would be the last time she traveled with them. She lay silently reminiscing about her life with Lord Sesshoumaru and how happy she had been for so many years. But now she was being forced to leave. Tears began to stream silently down her cheeks and she shook with the force of holding her cry of anguish. She sucked in her breath and rolled out of her bed roll, getting to her feet. She needed to move. She needed to find release for all of this pain.

She made her way into the forest, slowly at first, her eyes adjusting to the darkness and listening for any sounds that might reveal danger. When she reached the banks of the stream, she took off up stream in a dead run. She followed the winding stream ruthlessly, jumping over and ducking under each and every obstacle in her way. She ran until the tears that ran down her cheeks were nothing more than sticky damp trails on her cheeks. She ran as a steady roar began to build in her ears and the ache in her heart was finally overshadowed by other pains. She threw herself to the forest floor only after her legs began to tremble and her lungs burned as though they would burst. She lay in a patch of grass gasping for air, waiting for her heart beat to calm, and began to look around.

She found herself at the source of the river she had followed from her campsite. It began at a small pool with glassy clear water which was fed by a towering waterfall that spilled from a high cliff. The roar in her ears made sense now.

The full moon cast its pale light on the small clearing Rin stood in and she caught sight of a misty steam rising from a smaller pool at the far end of the glen.

_A small gift from the cruel fates_. She thought as she took in the sight of the inviting steam and began to feel the warmth as she moved closer to it.

She had found a hot spring. Such a leisurely thing seemed so out of place in her dismal trip.

_I know I won't be able to sleep if I go back now. _

Her tightening muscles made up her mind for her.

_I may as well soak for a while. _

She shed her sleeping robe and slipped into the hot water slowly, relishing the feel of her muscles loosening almost instantly. She leaned back and closed her eyes allowing her mind to wonder. She began to reminisce about her life with Lord Sesshoumaru. It had been a wonderful life and she felt homesick almost instantly.

_My cozy little room. _

_The steady pounding of the waves upon the sea shore. _

_The feel of the breeze that blew over Ah-Un's grassy hillside. _

_Ah-Un's gentle nudges when they were hungry. _

_Master Jaken's annoying know-it-all boasting. _

_Lord Sesshoumaru's deep steady voice. _

_His sure stride. _

_His tall form. _

_His golden eyes. _

_His woodland scent._

She knew this feeling was more than homesickness.

_Gods I love him so much! How am I going to bare parting with him?_

_I have to tell him before we part! He must know that I love him, even if he will hate me for it! I know that I am just a lowly human female, but my heart is his. _

Images of the brief kiss she had taken from his lips flashed through her mind and she felt the blush creep into her cheeks.

_His soft lips and strong hands._

Beginning to feel a little too warm, she pulled herself out of the water onto the rock side and wrapped her thin sleeping robe around herself, not bothering to close or tie it, and laid back closing her eyes.

_He has to know that I love him and only him before I receive the Kiss from Lord Kazuo. I'll tell him tomorrow._

Images of Lord Sesshoumaru flooded her mind's eye. Her body reacted in ways she was embarrassed to feel, but she couldn't help it. His voice alone was enough to make her tremble with the desire for his touch.

Her breath quickened and her heart rate increased when she thought of the kiss again, and she let her fantasy take flight. What would have happened had she been a demoness rather than a mere mortal?

She slowly pulled her hand across her firm breasts imagining it was her Sesshoumaru's lips that did the caressing. Her nipples tightened as he traced light kisses over them, and then he moved over her ribs with hot lips and wet tongue, across her flat stomach, and finally came to the dull ache that was forming between her thighs.

"Uhg…" She couldn't contain her moan of pleasure as a shiver ran through her body, but suddenly there was a noise, like a branch breaking and crashing to the ground, bringing her back to reality.

Rin shot up into a sitting position, clutching her robe closed and starring in the direction of the noise. Instantly the intruder appeared.

Lord Sesshoumaru seemed to jump down from the night sky. The silver moon cast a glowing light upon his silver locks as they flowed freely behind him. He landed effortlessly on the ground and crouched low on one knee, sword drawn and low to his side, blood red eyes boring into her. He was not wearing his armor and he was bare foot. His haori hung off his lean form unbound by his obi revealing his sculpted abs and pale, flawless skin. He looked positively breathtaking, but the anger that radiated off his form was the center of her attention.

**_888888_**

Sesshoumaru had been uncomfortably perched in the branches of a rather dull tree trying to rest but he felt irritable and still a little weak from his sickness. He longed to be sitting against the trunk of the tree near the campfire, soaking in a little warmth, but that would mean having to be near Rin, and that simply wasn't a good idea. His thoughts were on the girl almost obsessively lately and it angered him.

Now he thought of their departure. She had held her tears and said goodbye, leaving the palace bravely; honorably. He had felt…pride. Pride in that she had grown up so respectful, so strong willed, brave, honorable, and well loved by all whom knew her. But, the sadness in her eyes was oddly disturbing. He found himself battling the urge to pull her into his embrace and whisper words of comfort and anything else she wanted to hear just to see her smile again.

He growled in annoyance at his thoughts and shifted restlessly on the branch.

She filled his mind again instantly. Her long silky black waves of hair; Her large sparkling hazel eyes, so full of every emotion she experiences; Her full, moist, pink lips softly parted and ready to be kissed; Her sweet cherry blossom scent which he would know anywhere and which he could detect even now. She would not leave his mind.

_She has bewitched me. _He growled to himself stubbornly.

Thoughts of his palace, empty of all the life and laughter of Rin came to the front of his mind.

_Enough! _He commanded himself for the hundredth time. He firmly blocked out all thoughts of her, meditating and using focusing breathing techniques.

He was finally just dozing off when he caught her scent. It had changed positions in the air.

He made his way quickly back to camp and discovered that Rin was gone, but easily determined in which direction she had gone. He couldn't smell anything out of the ordinary, so she must not have been abducted. He came to a rather distasteful conclusion.

_So, she means to flee from her fate then._

He headed after her into the forest, picking up her scent at the edge of the river and followed it in pursuit.

_She will not dishonor the Dog Demon Clan of the West by breaking her vow._

Not long into his pursuit, he caught another scent. This scent was spicy and purely feminine and he had smelled it this strong only once before, when she had been dreaming.

_She is aroused! _Shock slapped him in the face and he picked up his pace, that sickening feeling in his stomach increasing ten fold. Jealousy instantly blinded him and took control of his rational mind.

_Who dares touch her! Who dares touch what is mine! How dare she desire another!_

**_888888_**

Rin watched as Lord Sesshoumaru scanned the tree line slowly and then his crimson gaze fell on her once more.

"Where is he?" He demanded in his low masculine voice, the usual calm seeming to quiver a little.

Anger filled him to the core as he tried to pick up on the scent of the despicable male who dared to come near Rin, but he could detect nothing.

"Master…there is no one…" She tried to reply to his odd question, a slight twinge of fear rippling through her.

"I can smell your desire. Where is your lover?" He barked abruptly, interrupting her.

"Master!" She was astonished and more than a little embarrassed.

_Gods! He can smell that I was…pleasuring myself and now he thinks that I was with a man. _At that moment she wanted to curl up into a ball and die.

"I assume it is that damned tiger. Where has he gone?" he asked, his tone turning to ice.

Rin stared, bewildered, at him. She didn't know what to say.

_Who does he mean? Master Kane?_

"You should know that there is a small human village not far north of here. Either you tell me where he is hiding or everyone in that village will die in his place." He said coolly, his crimson gaze still on her.

She couldn't believe this was happening. What was she supposed to do? He was being very uncharacteristically irrational.

_He has only had a few days of conscious recovery from the poison. He is not himself. He wouldn't possibly…._

In the next instant he was standing over her, grabbing her wrist and pulling her to her feet, dragging her through the forest in the direction he had indicated the village to be in.

"Gods! M'lord please listen to me…" She tried to plead with him to listen to reason as she realized that though he may have still been slightly weakened, he meant to make good on his word.

"This Sesshoumaru has asked you a question. Do not presume to reason your way out of a response." He hissed, not giving any indication of being interested in listening to what she had to say other than to answer his question.

"Master please!" She begged a little more desperately as she stumbled along after him.

He continued to drag her roughly though the darkness of the forest, saying nothing.

_How can I get him to listen to me?_

The sound of a baby crying came faintly though the night and Rin's heart leapt into her throat. They were very near the village now.

"Master…please…there was no one…" She tried again.

He stopped abruptly and turned to her.

"I can still smell your desire for him. Why else would you have left the safety of the campsite? You were fleeing with your lover…" He did not finish that remark.

"Do not lie to me." He finished instead.

"No…I wasn't…I was upset…" He jerked her into a half run again as he continued towards the village.

"No! Master…it was you! IT WAS YOU!" She yelled as she began to smell the smoke from the village fires. She began to dig her feet in and tug on his arm with all of her strength, her loose robe forgotten.

He stopped in his tracks and pulled her to him roughly, his eyes glowing with a deep demonic light, but before he could say anything else she lowered her eyes.

At that moment, realization hit him full in the stomach, nearly knocking the air out of him. He slammed his usual calm expression firmly in place while he inwardly reeled with the truth of the situation.

_She was...taking pleasure…in thoughts of…! _His angry demon logic was suddenly battling pure masculine pride.

"It has always been you." She whispered. Her throat was tight and she was fighting bitter tears.

He did not move or say a word. He could barely breath. His heart was surely going to burst into a hundred pieces any moment. Another realization hit him.

_She has not been marked._

"I…I was going to tell you before we parted…I …" She swallowed, tears were streaming down her cheeks now.

_Her heart is free to…_

"M'lord, my heart is yours." She looked up into his eyes again.

He stood there, unmoving, his grasp still tight around her wrist, holding her to him. But, his demonic gaze had faded and now golden eyes locked with hazel.

_She does not know what she says..._

"You know I have always loved you, but now…" She swallowed her human shame.

"I…I love you as a woman loves a man." She confessed, her hazel eyes searching his for any response. She thought she saw the slightest flicker of something more heated, more passionate deep within his gaze, but it was gone before she even had time to decide that it was really there.

He let her go suddenly, as though his hands had been burned, backing away into the dim shadows and turning his back on her. His deep voice came to her from the darkness.

"Do not be foolish."

She sucked in a painful breath and let it out slowly, closing her eyes for a moment. She had expected such a reaction.

"I'm sorry M'lord." She whispered.

She turned and began to make her way back to the stream so that she might follow it back to the campsite. She could feel the lump in her throat and the painful throbbing in her skull from too much crying, but it seemed that she had still more tears to shed as she let out a heartbroken sob. She had known he would reject her, but his actual rejection was far more painful than anything she could have imagined. She continued blinded by her tears, through the darkened forest, stumbling over the roots and underbrush that seemed to reach out and snatch at her suddenly heavy feet. She finally saw the dim iridescent light of the moonlit glen up ahead and as she stepped out of the tree line she froze. Lord Sesshoumaru was standing beside the hot spring, his head turned towards it, his eyes seeing something far away. The steam of the hot spring made him seem almost as though he were a figment of a dream. His eyes rose to hers and she stopped breathing.

When he heard her step into the grassy glen, his heart skipped a beat. In the forest, he had turned in time to see her retreat back towards the direction of the stream and knew that it would be the last moment he would ever again have her alone and unmarked. His last argument, his constant inner turmoil, had dwindled to nothing as he watched the female who had occupied his life for 10 years walk away. Her mortality was suddenly nothing in comparison to her beauty, her loyalty, her friendship, her…love. When the salty scent of her tears hit him, he made his decision. He went after her.

It had taken him a mere moment to reach the glen, so he stood and waited, his mind racing.

_What are you doing? Think about what this decision means!_ His rational mind was trying to reason with him.

His tortured heart had other plans. _No one else will ever know what transpires here on this night. _

But his mind went completely blank when she stepped into the glen and froze, her startled hazel gaze capturing him. She stood clutching her thin robe to her and shivering, crystal tear drops still rolling down her face.

He caught her eyes and said nothing as he turned and took long, sure strides towards her, closing the space between them. When he reached her he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her to him and lifting her almost off the ground, and crushed his lips fiercely to hers.

She wrapped her arms around his neck instantly, pressing her body into him, holding him as close as possible, as she returned his fiery kiss. There was no hesitation, no instance of surprise or confusion. She was his and that was all she knew at that moment.

Sesshoumaru hungrily kissed her, forcing her lips apart and plunging his tongue deep into her hot mouth. Her tongue eagerly met his as he devoured her. He was sure there could be nothing sweeter in all of the lands or heavens. His Rin. His sweet Rin.

He wanted more.

**_888888_WARNING_888888_WARNING_888888_WARNING_888888_WARNING_888888_WARNING_88888_WARNING**

He lowered her feet gently back to the ground, still kissing her, a little more tenderly now and let his hands begin to roam. First down over her firm backside, then back up to her small waist, up over her back, and then around to her ribs. When he reached the hem of her robes he broke the kiss, tearing his lips from hers so that he could see what he was about to reveal. Slowly he opened her robe and let it fall off of her shoulders into a pile at her feet. She stood before him now, nude and perfect, her creamy skin glowing in the moonlight. He had imagined that she would be beautiful, but she was more than that. She was… awe inspiring.

He began to trail kisses down her throat as he lightly cupped a small round breast in the palm of one hand, feeling the nipple grow hard at the contact. Her body spoke to his, awakening it from a its slumber. He growled low in his chest as he felt his arousal beginning to grow.

Rin was on fire. Her heart was in her throat as he touched her and she felt as though she were melting.

She wanted more.

She let her head fall back as he kissed her throat and caressed her aching breasts. His touch felt so good, but it only seemed to worsen the continually growing ache she felt in the pit of her stomach and lower. She gasped when she felt his hot lips replaced his hands on her breasts. Shivers ran up and down her spine when his large hands held her firmly to him as he lightly bite and sucked on each of her lovely mounds.

_Exquisite. _

That's what she was. He couldn't seem to quench the thirst that was building in him. The more he took of her, the more he wanted. Feverishly, he ripped off his robe, spread it across the grass, and then lowered her down onto her back, her ebony hair flaring out across the white fabric. She instinctively parted her smooth sleek legs and he settled himself between them, bringing his lips to hers once more. She rocked her hips against him bringing a moan from deep inside of him. He suddenly wished he had removed his pants too.

His weight on her was so exciting. Never had she felt so feminine and alive. She ran her hands up and down his strong muscular back as they shared a passionate kiss and instinctively rocked her hips upward to meet his. She burned with such a painful desire that she cried out when he thrust his own hips downward and she felt his thick arousal pressed against her through his pants.

"Ugh…Master!"

He relished the sound of her passion filled voice as he kissed and caressed her. She responded so innocently, so wonderfully to his touch, but if he had just this one night to get him by without her for the rest of his life, he wanted her screaming in ecstasy over and over. He wanted her to remember, even after the marks were all firmly in place.

Greedily, he began moving down her body, kissing and caressing, teasing and licking. Her skin smelled of sweet cherry blossoms and was as velvety smooth as the flower petals themselves. When he reach the folds of her womanhood he spread the delicate lips and thrust his tongue into her, hungrily lapping at her and enjoying the shuddering gasp she let out.

Within moments her entire world was spinning. She was drowning. She was being tortured so excruciatingly. She was in pure nirvana. She wanted this aching need, this building desire to reach its final destination and she wanted it to never end all at once. She could feel her body quivering as his tongue circled over the bead of sensitive nerves lightly and then firmly, slowly and then quickly. She was sure she was going to die when wave after wave of pure bliss suddenly washed over her. Bright light filled her mind as she went flying off the edge of oblivion and crying out.

"SESSHOUMARU!"

**_888_ENDWARNING_888_ENDWARNING_888_ENDWARNING_888_ENDWARNING_888_ENDWARNING_888_ENDW**

At that instant, there was a terrifying roar. Everything happened so fast, Rin barely had time to blink, let alone register what was happening.

Somehow, Lord Sesshoumaru had her in a sitting position, he was in a low fighting stance in front of her, his claws extended, his right hand glowing green and ready to strike. In the next instant she heard someone yelling.

"SHE IS MINE!"

There was a sickening sound of flesh being torn and then she saw a blur of burnt orange go flying through the air and into the hot spring.

She gasped, clutching Lord Sesshoumaru's robe to her and staring in astonishment at the form sputtering in the water.

Master Kane stood up in the waist high water, blood dripping from his sword arm, and turned his blazing emerald gaze on her.


	13. Chapter 13

11/21/05

A/N: Hello All! I know it has been awhile since I updated. I'm sorry. I have been trying to leave ongoing updates on my progress on my profile. I haven't forgotten you and I promise I won't leave you all hanging forever.

This Chapter is dedicated to Animechick262003, the amazing author of 'Seducing Sesshoumaru' and 'Ugly Beautiful', two Rin and Sesshoumaru stories that I would like to have seen completed, as well as 'Suddenly Daddy' and 'Collide', a Kagome/Inuyasha fic and a Kagome/Kouga fic. Animechick262003 decided to pull her stories from AFF recently, having lost interest in writing for her own reasons. I only hope she comes back to us soon, ready, willing, and happy once again.

Thanks to everyone for reading, reviewing, and being patient with me. I love you guys!

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or its characters. (

WARNING: This chapter contains sex and violence.

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**Chapter 13: **

Sesshoumaru silently cursed himself for having let his guard down. The tiger's scent hit his nose a second before the attack, and in that second he had also realized that not only had he let down his guard, but his swords were several feet away, against the tree he had leaned them on when he had decided to wait for Rin in the clearing.

With lightning reflexes he sidestepped his opponents attack, slashing with sharpened claws, and used Kane's own forward momentum to hurl the charging tiger into the steaming hot spring.

Rin gasped in shock clutching Sesshoumaru's robe to her naked body, her cheeks flushed with her aroused state. Her eyes were wide as they locked onto her former swords master. Master Kane stood dripping in the waist high water, steam rolling off of his glistening bronze skin as the heat of the water met with the cool night air. A gash across his haori revealed fresh stinging wounds and the fabric was slowly soaking up the demon's blood, but he didn't seem to care. He radiated pure rage.

Almost casually Lord Sesshoumaru moved to stand between Rin and the tiger demon, shirtless and barefoot, his weapons several feet away. To Rin, he seemed not to even notice these weaknesses as he stood ready for Kane's attack. He stood tall and powerful, and completely still. Rin could see lean muscles rippled across his perfectly sculpted back and shoulders.

Her heart leapt into her throat as she suddenly felt the air around the clearing first die down completely, and then the static charge of power began to crackle around the two demons. Rin crawled backwards trying to ease out of the way, terror filling her as she watched in complete shock. She couldn't believe that Master Kane would do this.

Sesshoumaru's deep icy voice sliced through the air, deadly calm.

"You were warned that the next time we met, you would die. Prepare yourself."

"And I told you she is mine and that I would take her by force if necessary." Kane growled back with just as deadly of a tone. But then he laughed, and Rin could not contain the shiver of pure fear that ran through her.

"Do you think you frighten me Sesshoumaru? Me?" Kane threw his head back and laughed again. Ripples of power pulsed through the air as Kane laughed.

Rin swallowed hard, not daring to move. Not wanting to draw attention to herself. Something about Master Kane just didn't seem right.

_He has lost his mind._ Rin's subconscious mind told her, but she couldn't believe it. He was Master Kane; her swords master; her friend; almost…her husband.

Kane's laughter stopped abruptly and he turned a murderous glare to Sesshoumaru's form. He seemed to bristle threateningly, not unlike his feline form might have. All amusement was gone from his now flashing eyes as he spread his sharpened claws, which were now extending dangerously from his fingertips.

Rin watched in horror as Lord Sesshoumaru flicked his wrists, one at a time, at his sides, his claws extending to deadly lengths. Then slowly, deliberately he headed for the hot spring, his long silver mane swaying slightly in the static, power charged air. Master Kane began to back up to the opposite side of the pool, out of reach, his demonic glowing green gaze never wavering as Lord Sesshoumaru approached the edge.

Just when Rin thought Lord Sesshoumaru was going to continue to advance right into the water he smoothly leapt into the air and was behind Master Kane in an instant. His bored expression unchanging, Lord Sesshoumaru snatched the demon by his burnt orange hair and dragged him out of the water. The tiger's hands shot up to claw at Sesshoumaru's grip as he was forced to his knees, but found his head jerked back roughly, his throat exposed. He was at the complete mercy of the Western Lord.

Lord Sesshoumaru's free hand began to glow a sickening green as he raised his poisonous claws, ready for the final strike.

"Rin…" Kane choked hoarsely. His eyes had bled back to their clear crystal green hue.

"Rin…do I mean nothing to you?" The helpless demon gasped in a pleading voice.

_I can't just stand by and let him die. _

"Master please!" She shouted as she scrambled to her feet, still clutching the white robe around her naked form.

Rin's heart slammed in her chest as she watched Lord Sesshoumaru's hand freeze in the air.

"Please, Sesshoumaru-sama, do not…" She swallowed, standing on the very edge of the pool shivering, her begging eyes shimmering with a fresh sheen of tears.

Lord Sesshoumaru regarded her coolly for a moment before he did the most unexpected thing.

He showed mercy to Master Kane.

With a jerk, Lord Sesshoumaru threw the tiger into the dirt.

"You would be wise to leave before I decide you _are _worth the trouble to kill." Sesshoumaru instructed mildly, turning to face Rin across the hot spring.

Rin let her breath out with relief, and was suddenly holding it again when Master Kane's emerald eyes rose to capture her gaze. They were filled with...was it…satisfaction?...Triumph?

"He is taking another as mate! He does not want you! Come with me." Master Kane growled fiercely.

She held his gaze for only a moment before turning hazel eyes to her master. In the second their eyes locked, bright burning images of searing kisses and scorching caresses crashed through her mind.

"I cannot." She whispered, unable to find her voice; her eyes still focused on Lord Sesshoumaru.

A growl began to vibrate through the air and Sesshoumaru's eyes flicked to Kane's crouched form. His claws began to glow again.

_Foolish weakling. He must wish to die._

"Please! Just go!" Rin's cry stopped Sesshoumaru again.

With one more frustrated growl, Kane leapt to his feet and fled into the night.

Rin gulped another breath and held it as she watched Lord Sesshoumaru. He stood completely still, his eyes trained on the spot in the trees Master Kane had disappeared through, and she knew he was listening. Waiting until he was sure the threat was over. His shoulders suddenly slumped and he wavered, taking one staggering step before righting himself.

Her heart leapt into her throat as she scanned him for injuries.

_He must still be weak from the poison!_

"Are you injured M'lord?" She asked him, standing on the very edge of the pool.

He turned towards her suddenly. His golden eyes smoldered with an intense light as he glared at her.

"As if that pathetic creature could harm this Sesshoumaru." He said hotly.

"Tell me. Why did you ask for the tiger's life?" He demanded abruptly. His eyes stayed locked on her features ready to catch the slightest hint of a lie.

She lowered her gaze, a slight blush coloring her cheeks, and Sesshoumaru could detect her heart beat quickening.

"Was it a lie?" He asked softly.

Her head shot up, a look of shock on her face, but before she could respond he was suddenly thrashing through the steaming pool of water closing the distance between them. He reached up, grabbing her wrists and pulled her roughly down into the water. She gasped in surprise as he pulled her up against him sharply and forced her gaze to meet his.

"Was it a lie? Was _he_ the reason you were out here?" He demanded again, his voice cracking slightly with long suffocated emotion.

_Does she truly love Kane? It can't be coincidence that they were both out here and she in an aroused state._

Rin looked up into his eyes in utter disbelief, but her throat tightened and her heart seized at what she saw in his eyes. Raw pain and distrust flashed across his golden eyes, barely a glimpse into his soul. But it was enough. She had never seen a look of such agony on any face.

He jerked her closer, his breath hot against her lips, the steam from the water bringing a flush to his pale skin, his silver hair dampening around his face.

"Tell me." He whispered across her lips, nearly brushing them with his own. He could still smell the musky scent of her recent orgasm and it intoxicated him. The nearness of her threatened to drive him mad; he couldn't focus his thoughts on anything but her.

Suddenly mesmerized by him, Rin had to struggle to find her voice.

"N…n…no, you can detect a lie…" She stammered, her voice barely a whisper, her lips quivering, her eyes searching his desperately. His grip on her arms tightened. She took a shaky breath and tried again.

"I did not lie. I will only ever love you…" She whispered breathlessly.

She barely got the words out when his lips were crushed to hers in passionate relief.

She gasped in surprise, and then melted into him, giving into his rough kiss and returning it. His mouth searched hers hungrily, tasting her, devouring her. She was drowning and she never wanted to be rescued.

"_He is taking another mate! He does not want you!" _Kane's words came unbidden to her mind and she forced them away.

_No! He wants ME. Just for a little while…_ Her heart ached, knowing that what had happened between them, whatever happened now, it was a secret, a fantasy. It would never happen again. It would never be spoken of. She knew his true feelings for her kind, and she knew that he would regret, knew that he wasn't thinking rationally in his weakened state, but she couldn't bring herself to care. She wanted him. Needed him. Loved him.

His kiss was hurried, almost desperate. He let her arms go, reaching under them and around her back to hold her in his arms, to feel her small form in his embrace. She wrapped her own arms around his neck instantly as she leaned into his hard body and moaned into his mouth.

_Just one night. _He told himself as he let the desire he felt wash through his body.

_**8888WARNING8888WARNING8888WARNING8888WARNING8888WARNING8888WARNING8888WARNIN**_

He broke away from her mouth breathing heavily, his golden eyes locking with desire filled hazel eyes, as he slipped the robe she wore off her shoulders and pulled it away from her exquisite body. Then he reached between them and untied his hakama. She dragged her hands down his body and when she reached the waistline of his hakama, pushed them down his slim form. When he was clears of them and nothing separated their bodies he pulled her back into his embrace crushing her wet, naked body against his and claming her mouth once more. The contact was like a wildfire spreading through his veins. He wanted her more than he had ever wanted anything in his life.

Rin's head was spinning as she kissed him. She wanted him so much. This man who had been her savior, her leader, her mentor, her companion, her very life. She loved him with so much passion, so much energy, so much of her spirit that it almost hurt.

_Gods, Please! Just once before I let him go. Just this once. _ The thought stabbed at her heart and she sucked in her breath crying out and wrapping her arms around his shoulders once again.

When Rin cried out, Sesshoumaru lost control. A growl formed low in his chest as he backed her up against the bank of the hot spring and forced his knee between her slim legs all the while trailing hungry kisses down her graceful throat, finding her pulse and licking the skin above it. He could taste her heartbeat and smell her desire. When she wrapped her legs around his waist he moaned, grinding his hips against hers. The motion caused his erection to press against the sensitive bundle of nerves at her core and she moaned rocking into him. He ran his hands down the smooth skin of her sides and under her to grip her small bottom and ground into her even harder this time holding her to him.

When she rocked into him again he hissed, closing his eyes. His manhood was throbbing, aching to be seated deep within her core. He drew his hips back, lifting her slightly, feeling his thick shaft drag across her womanhood until his sensitive tip was teasing her slick entrance. She flexed her legs rocking into him again, her body trembling with need, her eyes hazy with desire.

"Please M'lord…" She begged brokenly between gasps, her body crying out for something more than just a physical release. She ached for completion.

He rubbed the tip of his arousal back and forth over her opening but could feel her natural wetness washing away into the hot water. In one fluid motion he lifted her out of the water onto the grassy edge, laying her on her back with her slim legs wrapped around his waist. Thick drops of water beaded on her skin and steam rose from her cooling body as he settled himself at her secret spot between her legs. She jerked when his thumb came to rest over her sensitive bud and began to tease it with circular motions. At the same time he slowly guided the tip of his aching manhood to her slick opening and he could tell she was more than ready for him now.

She thought she would die any moment. The agony of this building need within her was more than she could bear. She ached for more, but wasn't sure what until he slowly began to enter her, spreading her.

Slowly he pushed into her, his own body beginning to tremble with his fierce need. He grit his teeth as his sensitive tip cleared her first set of tight muscles. He stopped, waiting for a moment to allow her to adjust before he continued. He rubbed her aching pearl as he pushed ever so slowly into her. She sucked in her breath as he pushed past tight muscles and felt her innocent skin give way.

Rin felt as though she were being torn in half. He was so long and so very thick. She was beginning to think this wasn't going to work, but she trusted him, and as she watched his face while he pushed into her small body, she knew she wanted this no matter how badly it hurt. She cried out in pure, painful, bliss when he finally seated himself as deeply as he could within her.

He stayed like that for a moment relishing the feel of her around him. She seemed to fit him perfectly. He had never experienced such a feeling in all of his conquests. Their bodies seemed to be molded for each other. A shiver ran down his spine as he savored the erotic sensation of her.

He began to move now, thrusting into her and pulling back, gaining a rhythm as she too began to thrust her hips into his. Their gazes locked as they moved together and Sesshoumaru let a small moan slip out as he pumped into her.

The burning discomfort of their union began to dull leaving only the joy in her heart and the tingling pleasure of being so intimately close to him behind. She arched her back memorized every sensation, every touch, every sound. The feel of him moving inside of her brought a shiver through her and a low moan from her lips.

When she rolled her head back, arching her back and crying out, a carnal desire shot through him, and a sudden sense of urgency hit him. He pulled out of her abruptly and pulled himself out of the pool. In one smooth motion he flipped the still gasping woman over onto her stomach and lifted her waist so that she was on her knees. He found her hot, dewy opening and thrust into her once again. He gripped her round bottom and pumped fiercely into her as she moaned, pushing back against his thrusts. She arched her back and threw her head back, her hair cascading down her back as he ground into her.

When he felt his release coming he slowed. It was all he could do to keep from pounding into her until he spent himself, but this was her first time, and this would be his only time with her. He wanted it to last. He wanted to hear her cry his name just once more. An image of Rin on Kazuo's arm flashed through his thoughts, her eyes only for the panther, and jealousy, hurt, anger, and regret filled him all at once.

_She will remember me! _His inner voice proclaimed savagely as he tried to block out the gut wrenching anguish of knowing he had to let her go.

She groaned her protest to his pause and pushed against him encouraging him to continue. He pulled out of her once more and turned her over, laying her on her back in the grass. Slowly he lowered himself onto her, guiding himself between her legs and into her once more. She immediately wrapped both her legs and her arms around him holding him as close as she could.

He rested his weight on his elbows as he buried himself deep within her. He rocked his hips into her, not wanting to pull out of her even a little as golden orbs locked with burning hazel green. Her eyes were clear now, and full of passion and longing. He leaned down claiming her inviting pink lips with his hungry kisses as he continued to rock into her as deeply as he could.

She moaned and began to thrust her hips against him again. This time he ground his hips into her causing friction between their bodies that caressed her sensitive bud, and as he began to make longer strokes into her he continued to brush that aching spot. His own need was now a fiery inferno, and his body trembled with his impending release.

Soon they were moving as one, their climax building as one. Rin clung to him as her world began to spin, and just as she thought her lungs would burst and her body would break into a thousand tiny pieces, she was tipped over the edge for a second time that night. She cried out in ecstasy as her orgasm washed over her in thick pounding waves.

"SESSHOUMARUUUUU!"

Sesshoumaru could see nothing but the hazel green of Rin's eyes, he could hear nothing but the sound of his name on her lips, he could smell nothing but her intoxicating scent, and he could feel nothing but his burning need for release, and just as she screamed his name he let go. He thrust into her a final time, his seed spilling in short painful bursts deep into her womb.

His head sagged and he took deep breaths, breathing in her musky scent at the curve of her throat trying to calm his breathing. His silver locks fell around them in a thick shimmering curtain hiding them from the world. His heart was pounding as though he had just run for days, and his entire body trembled with sheer relief. Her legs stayed locked around his waist and her arms around his shoulders as she gasped for air. She ached. She could feel the soreness between her legs already, but she didn't want to let him go.

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_This will be the last time I get to hold him. _She thought as she tightened her embrace.

Sesshoumaru could feel his tired muscles beginning to ache as he took in deep cleansing breaths. His head was swimming and he felt heavy from the spent energy of their lovemaking. He was well aware that he had not fully recovered from the creature's poison yet, and that he would need even more time to recover now, but when he recalled the sound of Rin's passion filled voice crying out his name, his given name without his formal title, he had no regrets.

Lethargically, Sesshoumaru lifted his head and looked down into Rin's soft features. Her eyes shimmered with unshed tears as they traveled over his own features. Her lips were full and kiss swollen, her cheeks flushed with the heat of their lovemaking. A single lock of ebony hair lay across her cheek and clung to her lips. Tenderly, he reached up and brushed the strand away from her perfect face. His heart clenched painfully in his chest as he looked down at the electrifying young woman who had somehow captured his unfeeling heart and he again had to convince himself that the completion of the treaty was more important than matters of the heart, more important than this longing to keep this young vibrant human, his Rin, by his side forever.

The lover's lay in each other's embrace in silence for a long while, their cooling bodies pressed to one another. Sesshoumaru could sense dawn approaching and knew that their time had come to an end. Slowly they washed and dressed, their eyes never leaving each other, and then made their way reluctantly back to camp. Sesshoumaru guided her through the darkness, taking her small hand in his clawed and calloused one, and when they reached the edge of the campsite he paused, pulling her close.

"Rin, the treaty…" But she reached up and put her fingers to his lips.

"The treaty with the North is vital." She whispered her understanding.

"And, with my own union I will finally be of some use to you." She whispered so quietly that his demon ears barely caught her words.

He squeezed her small hand lightly, his eyes holding her gaze, trying to say all that he felt with his eyes, but could not say aloud, and then,…he let her go.

Jaken's snores could be heard from the darkness as Rin made her way back to her bedroll next to the now barely smoldering embers of the campfire. She settled down and when she was situated she looked across the fire, finding Sesshoumaru settled against the tree watching her. She held his gaze for as long as she could before sleep began to claim her.

_**88888**_

Rin was jerked into the air, a powerful fist clamped around one arm, with such force she could barely draw breath, her heart beating wildly as adrenaline and fear washed over her disoriented senses. Suddenly she was flung several feet, crashing painfully into the rough trunk of an unyielding tree. In shock she twisted around on the ground where she had tumbled and took in the sight of her attacker as it moved towards her.

The dim dawn light revealed an enormous creature, the shape and size of a huge man, covered in black patches of rough skin and matted fur. It had a snout nose glistening with yellow and green mucus and sharp lower fangs dripping with saliva protruding from its steaming mouth, and raggedly torn ears tipped at the top of its large head. The tiny black pupils of its beady yellow eyes were focused on her as it lumbered towards her. It wore a strap across its massive chest with knives glistening from their sheaths, but the creature's sharp claws looked more deadly than any knife.

"Sesshoumaru-sama!" She shrieked, the first word to come to her mind as she scrambled back against the tree watching it get closer and closer. But it suddenly stopped and turned at the startled cry of master Jaken.

Her heart hammered in her chest as she got to her knees and crawled around the tree. Taking a deep breath she sprinted through the edge of the trees around the site, scanning for more creatures all the while hoping that Lord Sesshoumaru and the others were alright. She made it to her travel pack and silently thanked the fates for her decision to not pack her bow and quiver of arrows with the rest of her belongings. Shaking, she grabbed the familiar weapon and peered out, scanning the site for her companions. She heard master Jaken first.

"FEEL THE WRATH OF THE STAFF OF TWO…!"

CRACK

Rin saw the imp hurled through the air, the staff snapped in two on the ground. She had to bite her lip to keep from crying out and alerting the creatures to her hiding place behind the tree as she watched her friend crumple to the ground in a lifeless heap. She took a deep breath, held it, and aimed her arrow, but Jaken's attacker was brought down by a sudden shot of lightning. The creature snarled and turned on the two-headed dragon that had just shocked it. Ah-Un was fending off master Jaken's attacker while two more creatures snarled and ruthlessly slashed at the dragon with sharp claws. Another creature suddenly came flying through the air to topple one of Ah-Un's attackers. Both creatures got to their feet and turned. Rin followed their glare where her searching gaze found Lord Sesshoumaru.

He stood poised for battle, his eyes glowing blood red, fangs elongated, and talons dripping with the green hue of poison. He was still bare-chested and bare foot, and his ribs heaved with heavy breathing, but her heart jerked at the sight of blood dripping from a gash across his shoulder. Still, crackling power rippled through the air, silver locks swirling around him. He was faced with a particularly foreboding creature with wickedly jagged knives drawn.

Suddenly, more creatures began to pour from the shadows.

"Sesshoumaru-sama!" She screamed in horror.

Rin's training took hold and she picked off as many of the creatures as she could, fighting to get closer to her master. A sudden blur of burnt orange streaked across the campsite taking down two creatures simultaneously, both seeming to burst into flames and then disintegrate into ashes, and then the blur jumped into another group of the foul creatures.

_Master Kane…?_ But, she wasn't able to see what happened next because she was grabbed from behind.

Instantly, Rin dropped, twisting her arm free of the grip and sweeping her leg under her attacker's. It crashed to the ground with a snarl and she took the opportunity to run.

They were all around her as she ran. She continued to fire arrow after arrow as she ran through the trees trying desperately to put some distance, any distance, between herself and these foul beasts, but there only seemed to be more and more and more. She stumbled into the icy water of the stream and turned again to fire.

_**88888**_

Sesshoumaru had picked up the foul scent only seconds before they attacked. Then he saw them. The creatures he had hunted centuries ago. The demons that had killed his mother and then had dared to come after his Rin. His stomach turned as he saw them for the first time in the dim dawn light.

They were fabled Troll demons. He was sure of it, though they were presumed to be extinct. Yet, here they were, in all of their hideous glory, attacking his campsite.

_Why?_

Then came her first cry. "Sesshoumaru-sama!"

Just as quickly as they had attacked, Sesshoumaru had grabbed his Toukijin and countered, flinging the first into a group which was going after Ah-Un. His vision blurred and he felt slightly dizzy from the exertion, but he stood his ground, shaking his head a little to clear it and preparing for the next attack. He had just seen a few of the creatures drop, arrows protruding from their twitching bodies, when his attention was drawn to a particularly menacing creature approaching him. As he sized up his opponent he was aware of more creatures materializing from the shadows, and then he heard Rin scream again.

"Sesshoumaru-sama!"

But as he sought her out, while still avoiding the lumbering creature before him, Kane burst onto the scene, fierce and fiery. The Tiger demon abruptly plunged into a group of trolls, the entire group bursting into flames. Sesshoumaru had just enough time to see Rin dart into the trees, arrows flying, with several demons in angry pursuit.

The large creature before him, chuckled low in his chest. His voice coming out as hissing, garbled sound.

"The Great Lord of the West would risk everything for a mortal female." It chuckled again as Sesshoumaru turned his attention to the creature.

"Kill him." The Troll Demon Lord commanded, still glaring at Sesshoumaru. "Bring me the treasure!" He barked.

Shadows materialized from seemingly nowhere, and then Sesshoumaru saw the mounds of earth. These creatures, these fabled lesser demons were coming up from the very ground. Instantly Sesshoumaru understood why he hadn't smelled them, or heard their approach. They came from below the earth. They smelled of the earth. Only their thick, grey, oozing blood seemed to give off the foul odor he recognized.

Then he heard Rin shriek.

Sesshoumaru made quick work of the minions that came for him, lashing out with his whip of light, and taking off into the trees after Rin. He caught sight of Jaken's crumpled form on the ground, and Kane's struggle with three other creatures before he was in the trees, his thoughts consumed by Rin's terrified screams.

Sesshoumaru sliced through troll after troll as he shot through the trees following Rin's scent. His lungs burning and the slash across his arm throbbing, he burst through the tree-line onto the stream bank and attacked. He brought three more down, slicing easily through them with Toukijin as his keen eyes found Rin fighting off several attackers.

Rin smoothly dropped the last few trolls that made the mistake of turning their attention from her to the newly appeared TaiYokai. Slowly, the demons had begun to retreat into the dense forest as Lord Sesshoumaru fought off one after another, his sharp sword making swift work of each pathetic creature. The last one fell with an arrow quivering from its chest.

Cautiously, Sesshoumaru lowered his sword, looking around, listening for signs of any further danger. He concentrated on the sounds around them. The rush of the water, the breeze in the trees, Rin's labored breathing and the strong steady beat of her heart. He heard nothing more. He concentrated on the scents in the air, turning his head slightly to catch anything and everything it had to offer. He smelled dew on the grass, and the musky salt scent of Rin's exertion. The faint stench of the grey troll blood was coming from his wound and he knew he would feel the affects of the toxic qualities it possessed soon. He smelled nothing more. Slowly his gaze was drawn to Rin alone.

She stood in the middle of the rushing stream, the icy water up to her thighs. She stood with bow in hand, arrow notched and ready to be fired. Her breathing was heavy and her eyes flashed with a fierce inner light as they scanned the trees. The first rays of sunlight filtered through the trees shimmering down through the misty morning dew and falling over her. Her glossy raven locks cascaded down her back shining in the streams of glittering light. The goddess of war could not have been more magnificent.

Pride swelled up in him as he admired her and just as swiftly, it was replaced with a longing in his soul. Desperate kisses and forbidden caresses swept across his memory as he looked upon the woman before him.

_Enough! _He commanded his inner self. He felt a wave of dizziness wash over him.

"Rin, we are going." Sesshoumaru commanded as he wearily turned, but something suddenly caught his eye. Just as the attack came, he was ready for it. He smoothly moved aside, his attacker flying right past him, an arrow lodged into its chest with a solid '_thunk'_, and just at that moment he heard her scream. He whirled around to see Rin drop to her knees in the water, blood streaming from her lips, but her eyes were wide and frightened and on him alone, and suddenly they were terrified at what they saw.

Pain shot through him as a thick blade impaled his body from behind and protruded from his chest, his sword dropped to the ground. Suddenly he was lifted off the ground and flung into the river with such force that when he hit the icy water, he rolled several feet across the water before sinking into it. He struggled as he tried to get to his feet, the blade still jutting out from his chest. Finally finding purchase, he rose to his feet, staggering and gasping. His lungs burned and the world around him shattered as he watched in seemingly slow motion the scene before him.

_This is not happening! _He tried to convince his rational mind to snap out of this nightmare as he took in the sight before him, his entire body quivering with pain and sluggish heaviness. There was another sudden and sharp pain across his shoulder and he could feel a warm wetness gushing down his side now.

Sesshoumaru slowly sank to his knees growling. He began to gather his power into himself, ready to take on his true form. Ready to be done with all of these pathetic creatures. But there was something wrong. He was having trouble concentrating. He had no energy, and he could suddenly do nothing but watch as Rin fought for her life several feet away.

Rin was screaming now as she watched another blade slice across Sesshoumaru's already wounded shoulder blade, though he barely reacted. She saw his eyes beginning to glow red as he began to transform. But nothing happened.

Rage like nothing he had ever felt filled his heart as he watched another troll demon approach the bleeding and screaming Rin. She heard him coming and began to try to back away from him, splashing clumsily through the water. Another troll appeared on the riverbank ready to grab her. And then Sesshoumaru felt two heavy bodies tackling him, one after the other and still he couldn't gain control of enough of his power to repel the creatures, let alone to transform. But, Rin was screaming his name gain.

"SESSHOUMARU-SAMA!"

A burst of adrenaline shot through him and he lunged up the river bank towards Rin and her attackers, dragging the two trolls with him. The troll on the bank had dragged Rin out of the water by the hair and now Sesshoumaru could see the deep gash across the flesh of her back and another deep puncture wound between her shoulder blades. He saw her twist around grabbing the hand that had her hair struggling to turn around just as he reached them. He grabbed the creature's ankle and squeezed, puncturing its grotesque, hairy skin with his poison claws. The creature howled, trying to pull its leg from Sesshoumaru's iron grasp and finally dropped, the poison taking its cruel affect. But, Rin was snatched by yet another demon.

The two trolls on top of Sesshoumaru quickly became three and then there was another burst of pain as something blunt struck his head, and he was now acutely aware of the poison coursing through his veins. His body was so heavy, his heart was pounding as though it would explode, and his vision was blurring. His struggling growls became a deep low rumble as his vision faded.

"Rin…" He rasped as he struggled to move towards her.

_No…_

Three trolls had her now, one dragging her from behind, another slashing her across the face with its claws as it followed, and another following with a short blade ready in its hand as she was dragged off into the trees away from the stream.

She was still screaming; sobbing.

He could see her hazel eyes, heavy with tears, never leaving his face, and then…there was nothing.

The great Western Lord fell to his enemies and unwillingly succumbed to black unconsciousness. Utter terror in the eyes of the woman he loved, would be the last thing he would see.

_My Rin._

_**88888**_

"In Dreams"

When the cold of Winter comes

Starless night will cover day

In the veiling of the sun

We will walk in bitter rain

But in dreams

I still hear your name

And in dreams

We will meet again

When the seas and mountains fall

And we came to end of days

In the dark I hear a call

Calling me there

I will go there

And back again

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Did I mention I was a fan of the angst? hehe The poem is by Fran Walsh and Howard Shore and is from the LOTR: The Fellowship of the Rings soundtrack. sniffle Also, no…this is not quite the end.


	14. Chapter 14

01/23/06

A/N: Wow! I made it! Chapter 14! Thanks so much for all of your support and reviews. You guys are great!

Disclaimer: I do not own or profit from Inuyasha or its characters.

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**Chapter Fourteen: My December**

Sesshoumaru woke with a start. The room he was in was dimly lit with the warm orange glow of the oil lamps that hung on the walls. He was in his bed, in his own room.

His own bed.

Damn he was thirsty.

He moved to sit up and his head began to swim. His body ached all over and his chest hurt. He burned with pain from the inside out, and every movement, every breath he took sent a shock of sharp pain through him. He slowly lay back down and looked down at his bandaged chest letting out a growl in frustration. Memories, fleeting images, flashed through his mind's eye. He remembered to troll attack. He remembered being run through and how he had been too weak from the poison to transform. He remembered fighting with his last ounce of strength, fighting against the overwhelming agony and heaviness that had overcome him as he had been trying to get to Rin.

_Rin…_

"Jaken." He called, noticing how hoarse his voice was.

The little imp scurried in almost instantly.

"Master! You're awake! I'm so glad! We began to worry after the first week…"

Sesshoumaru sat straight up ignoring the pain. His arm shot out and grabbed the startled toad demon by his neck.

"Do you mean to say that I have been lying here for a full week?" Sesshoumaru demanded.

"Y..y..yes m'lord. Eh…Longer. It has been about 13 days now since Master Kazuo and his panther companions found us. Though I was merely unconscious, you had a blade protruding from your chest and you were face down in the stream. Master Kenta said you were badly poisoned and that you were so close to death that even your demon blood and healing abilities gave little hope without your Tensaiga to help the healing.

Sesshoumaru blinked at his vassal. _So my father's sword has been taken. Is that what the Trolls were after then?_

"And Rin? How does she fare? He asked, dropping the toad and leaning back down against his pile of pillows letting his tired eyes drift closed.

"Ah…M'lord…that is to say...the girl…uh…"

Sesshoumaru opened his eyes turning his icy stare on the stammering imp.

"Well…?" He asked in his usual dead tone, but he knew the answer. Memories of his last sight of her being sliced open and slashed at as she was being dragged off assaulted his thoughts.

"M'lord." Jaken cleared his throat and shakily began his explanation.

"We found her bow in the river and we found pieces of silk from her sleeping robe, but M'lord, we also found blood." Jaken's voice grew to a choked whisper, his eyes glassing over.

"Lots of blood."

"She has been missing all these days now. We sent out patrols in each direction from the campsite and even sent Ah-Un to search by sky. We searched for days, but we found no other trace of her."

"M'lord, she's dead!" At this last statement Jaken's voice cracked and tears were streaming down his face.

Sesshoumaru closed his eyes at Jaken's words letting out a long breath. His heart was seizing in a sharp pain. It felt like some heavy and unmovable object was suddenly hammered to his chest.

"…_dead."_

He heard the words echo in his mind.

The scent of cherry blossoms and the sound of the little song she used to sing filled his mind.

"Leave me." He softly commanded, and heard his faithful servant retreat from the room without a word, drawing the door closed.

"…_dead." _The declaration echoed again.

He squeezed his eyes more tightly closed trying to block out the memory of her song.

_Even if Tensaiga hadn't been lost, thirteen days is too long. Her soul will have left her body by now. _His rational mind reasoned as he tried to grasp for any idea of how to get her back safe,…alive.

But other memories filled his mind.

_Her scent and the way she looked at him, her hazel eyes always so trusting and full of love. _

_Her beautiful smile and her feminine laugh. _

_The sound of his name whispered passionately from her lips. _

_The sound of terror that filled her voice as she screamed his name while they ripped her open._ She had been screaming for him and he hadn't been able to reach her.

He couldn't hold it any longer. He let out the roar that had been building since Jaken's words had reached his ears. He yielded to it and let it rip through him. The walls seemed to shake with the heart-wrenchingly mournful sound that echoed through them. When he could no longer push an ounce of breath from his lungs the sound faded and an empty silence was all that was left. He was vaguely aware that his body was trembling and suddenly he couldn't breath. A helplessness washed over him that was so consuming that he thought he would go mad. Her terrorized eyes plagued his thoughts.

_She is gone. She is gone and there is nothing I can do. No way to ever take that look from her eyes._

The last memory he would have of his sweet, innocent Rin was of her fear and pain, but not for herself, rather for him. Even in dying she had selflessly felt only for him.

Day turned to night, light into dusk, and the Lord of the West lay unmoving, remembering her face, her laugh, and her sweet, sweet scent. The pain slowly faded to a dull ache, and after a while, there was nothing once more. He was numb. This numbness he knew so well. It could be ignored so easily, and then there he could feel it. His need for revenge.

_The troll demons will all die._

Night took hold of the world as the Demon Lord drifted off to a deep healing sleep thinking of the different ways he would torture each and every one of his foes, Rin's cherry blossom scent and expressive hazel eyes permanently fixed just in the back of his thoughts.

_Yes…they will all die._

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The seasons held no joy for the Western Lord any longer. Where he used to be able to sit on the beach and watch the lightning of a late summer storm roll across the sea or sit beneath a tree and admire the fall leaves for hours, he no longer took any simple joy from Mother Nature. As late summer turned to crisp autumn and later to the icy cold of winter, Lord Sesshoumaru healed slowly, the unique poisons assaulting his demon blood finally having run their course. Lord Kazuo's second in command had returned from the North in early fall with the approval of the Mating Ritual ceremonies to be postponed until the spring. The panther demon lord stayed in the palace through the fall and into the harsh winter, and as spring drew near, the two stoic demon lords prepared to leave for the North.

Too soon the early spring day of their departure arrived and Lord Sesshoumaru found himself sitting just outside the closed door of Rin's old rooms. He had not entered the cozy room even once since Rin's death, and yet he was drawn here time and time again.

_Her scent still lingers here. _

Slowly he reached out and slid the screen open and sat looking inside. The dried flowers that hung from every nook and the bright silks that covered the furniture seemed to sing a merry song while waiting for their equally cheerful mistress to come for them. After her mating ceremony was completed she had planned to come back for the rest of her belongings. His gaze swept over a canvas by the window and he paused to look at the unfinished work. The deep blues and grays told of a rolling sea crashing upon a sandy white beach, lightning flashing across a cloudy sky. She would not be back to finish it.

_She will not be back this time. _

He reached out again and slid the screen closed. He would have Jaken clear out the room…eventually.

_But not yet. _

_Her scent…still lingers here._

His heart gave a sharp jerk and squeezed painfully as a strange lump formed in his throat. He needed air! He needed to be away from all of the subtle reminders of her. The flower vases around the castle, all empty, the mournful servants, her empty room, her possessions, her scent!

He gathered his power into him and materialized outside in the gardens. He took a deep cleansing breath closing his eyes and trying to think of the alliance that was finally going to be completed after so many years. The alliance that his father before him had believed in and supported. It would be an excellent alliance that would bring peace and pride to a more powerful united land. And of course there was the treaty with the central regions to be pleased with as well. Lord Kazuo had agreed to the treaty even though he no longer had a bride to seal the treaty. Even though he no longer had…

_Rin._

He shook his head in frustration.

_Always! My thoughts always return to her! There is nothing more to be done! She is gone! She was a mere blink in my entire demon lifespan! _Sesshoumaru's rational mind yelled at him to forget her once and for all and get on with more important matters.

But the scent of cherry blossoms floated across his sensitive nose and his eyes snapped open.

_Rin!_

He turned slowly, following the sweet scent and fixed his gaze upon the source. The Sakura tree that bloomed so close to the bath house had erupted with the lovely white blooms in celebration of spring time. Their fragrance hung thick in the air. He remembered Rin plucking the blossoms fresh in the spring and summer to scrub her skin with. He remembered discovering her drying the leaves and storing them in sachets and asking her about it. She had told him that she wanted to have some during the winter because she knew he didn't like her human scent. He had merely raised an eyebrow at her and left her to her business at the time. How he wished now that he had told her that he had found her scent pleasant.

He blinked the memory away and glared up at the tree. It was suddenly taunting him. In his mind's eye he could see the happy branches waving at him in the breeze and swore he saw it smirking at him. His vision bled to crimson and rage began to fill him. It didn't matter that he carried no weapon. The snickering tree would die just the same.

With a single slash, a whip of pure poison energy sliced cleanly through the thick trunk and the tree toppled. It wasn't enough. The blossoms still smelled so sweet, like his Rin.

He slashed again and split the fallen tree in half. He slashed again.

An image of an awkward teenage Rin waving at him from the branches of this very tree flashed through his thoughts.

He slashed again.

_A grown Rin sitting in Ah-Un's field surrounded by the bright yellow flowers that she so loved, a soft breeze tossing her hair, her bright hazel eyes sparkling an almost emerald green in the sunlight as she gazed at him. _

He slashed again, sucking in a breath and holding it and trying to fight the strange pain that would not release its grip on his chest.

_Rin fondly caring for Ah-Un._

SLASH

_Rin good-naturedly teasing a squawking Jaken._

SLASH

_Rin efficiently running the household and conducting preparations for some important visitor._

SLASH

_Rin in his arms as they floated above the clouds, her soft lips swollen with his kiss._

SLASH

_Rin, warm and soft beneath him, her every response sending him further into passionate oblivion._

He slashed again, but this time hit only shreds and ground. He stood motionless then, his crimson gaze fading with his rage. His heart pounded in his chest and his breath came raggedly as he looked at what he had done. Soft white petals seemed to fall from the heavens around him as they drifted to the ground to rest forever. The offending cherry tree was gone. Bits and pieces were scattered all around. Dead. Like his Rin.

But, the scent was stronger now. Fresh and mixed with the scent of the fresh cut wood. He stood there unmoving, staring at a single flower that floated down right across his face and settled on his shoulder. Out of all of the flowers, out of all of the destruction, this single flower had survived whole and perfect. It made him angry all over again. The lump in his throat ached when he swallowed, and his chest burned as he drew in each breath.

_This is ridiculous! I have already given my grief for her! _His inner reason barked at him.

He reached up and brushed the single flower from his haori with a flick of his wrist.

_There is no time for this nonsense._

Jaken's odor caught his nose at that moment announcing his approach before the toad could say anything.

"What is it, Jaken?" Sesshoumaru asked in his usual emotionless tone as he willed himself to calm down.

"Master, excuse me, but Lord Kazuo is ready to depart." Jaken quietly explained as he surveyed the shredded tree.

Without saying a word, Lord Sesshoumaru turned and walked back towards the main house. Jaken stood for a moment at the mess that used to be the beautiful Sakura tree.

_The master sure chooses to vent his grief in strange ways._ He thought to himself as he bent to pick up a single whole blossom. The pink and white petals were still full and silky and the fragrance was still as fresh and sweet as if it were still hanging from its mother branch.

_It still has life in it yet, and the scent reminds me of Rin. _He mournfully thought to himself as he examined the blossom.He decided to keep the flower for a while. It brought him a small comfort. The girl had, after all, been his closest friend, his fiercest rival, and his most trusted ally. Yes, the stem was not long but it would float nicely in a small bowl of water. Perhaps it would live for a few more days.

_**88888**_

The travel party was a lot larger than Lord Sesshoumaru was used to and their progress went much slower than he would have liked. They still had to make a few detours before heading North and the delays fanned the flames of his already irritated mood. He continued his march as his thoughts turned to the young panther demon lord. He looked at the demon from the corner of his eyes as he walked. He was indebted to Lord Kazuo for his life. Strangely this didn't bother him as much as he would have thought. The panther had proven to be a reliable and trustworthy ally as well as a strange source of comfort. He spoke very little, which suited Sesshoumaru just fine, and he asked for nothing. He also proved to be quite useful when Sesshoumaru had been too ill to protect his territories form the lesser demons that heard whispers of his demise. Lord Kazuo and his companions had stayed at the palace and had provided a powerful enough presence that any of those lesser demons thought better of challenging the Western Lord's rule. By all rights, Sesshoumaru knew he should not have survived the troll attack.

The alliance with this honorable leader will be a great alliance indeed.

His thoughts strayed to the Lady Kasumi. She had been in love with this honorable demon so many years ago and she had to give that love up for a peace treaty. He wondered what it would have been like for her and Kazuo had Kazuo been the leader back then that he was now. Suddenly Rin was in his thoughts again. He was becoming used to her memory always readily jumping to the front of his thoughts. Would she have been happy with Lord Kazuo?

_I love you. _The memory of her whispered declaration heightening the regret he felt so keenly every time he thought of her.

Would she have remembered that she loved him after she would have been marked? Did the Lady Kasumi remember that she had loved Kazuo?

_It doesn't matter. _He told himself. _The treaty has been in place for centuries and now it is time to complete it._

Four days of travel brought the party to the edges of a volcanic land covered in black ash. Heat radiated off the ground and nothing grew. Sesshoumaru maintained his composure, but wanted to wrinkle his nose and snort at the sharp scent of hot lava and ash.

_Totosai's forge._

"Jaken, we are going." He ordered as he headed into the rocky land, blocking out the harsh smell assaulting his senses and burning his eyes. He did not look back as Lord Kazuo and his companions turned and continued North.

It took them the better part of the day to reach the forge. It was a black cave in the side of the angry mountain. Smoke billowed from the escape above the cave, and Sesshoumaru could here the steady clang of metal on metal as he approached. As he came closer to the entrance the clanging stopped abruptly and Totosai's cry of pain came sputtering out of the cave. Sesshoumaru stopped and waited. It would not be long. The old fool was not as senile as he pretended to be. He probably already knew he was there.

Sure enough, the forge master came scuttling out in a huff in a matter of seconds, clutching his blackening thumb and cursing.

"Oh no you don't! We agreed on a time and price and you didn't show up you ungrateful pup! After all I've put up with from you, you think you can just…"

"Shut up, Totosai, before I decide to take your tongue." Sesshoumaru commanded icily. Jaken came scurrying out from behind Sesshoumaru instantly.

"How dare you insult the master like that! You old fool! Lord Sesshoumaru will…gahh!"

Sesshoumaru stepped on the sputtering imp and continued towards Totosai. "Do not forget, Totosai, that you are repaying me for letting you live after you failed to commission my sword."

"Ummm….what was I saying again?" The old man looked around blinking wide empty eyes around, and then settling on Sesshoumaru again.

"Sesshoumaru! What a pleasant surprise! What brings you to the forge once more?" He gushed in his raspy voice. Sesshoumaru was not fooled of course. He kept his gaze steady on the old steel smith.

"Jaken." He commanded.

Jaken immediately got to his feet and scuttled over to Totosai. "You will repair the Staff of Two Heads!" Jaken proclaimed as though it were a great honor.

"What!" The smith squawked back. "You broke it! How could you do that! Even the human girl is more worthy of carrying the staff than you, you stupid…"

"Silence!" Sesshoumaru cut him off with a short command. "You will not speak of her again." He said with deadly calm as he watched the old man's eyes light with understanding. The great bug eyes popped out of his head as they first swept all around the area around Sesshoumaru searching and then back to the Demon Lord. He swallowed audibly when he saw the ice in Lord Sesshoumaru's eyes.

"Come in then. I have the dagger you commissioned last spring, and I would like to get started on the Staff before it gets too dark." He turned and headed back into the darkness of the cave, Sesshoumaru following and Jaken standing guard.

The old man set to work immediately, moving about the forge proficiently as he went. "I had heard rumors of an attack, but I had not heard of the severity, and hoped that they were just rumors." The old man began chattering as he worked.

Sesshoumaru stood unmoving in the shadows watching the forge master work and listening to the old man rambling.

"Troll demons always were trouble for the dog demon clan…"

"What?" Sesshoumaru cut in shortly, his eyes boring into the smith.

"What? What did I say? I don't remember. Eh…where am I anyway?" The old man blinked looking around, a suspiciously guilty look on his face.

In an instant Sesshoumaru had the forge master by the neck and dangling in the air. "Do not play games with me, Totosai. The trolls have taken two from me and I will have my revenge. Now, tell me what you know of them before I decide you are of no use to me." Sesshoumaru hissed.

"Ack…alright….just don't kill me!" The old man wheezed.

Sesshoumaru dropped him and waited while Totosai gasped and choked on the ground. The forge master glared up at the demon lord from the ground before sitting up and beginning his explanation.

"We weren't sure that it had been a troll attack, but the signs all pointed to them." He began.

"We?" Sesshoumaru questioned.

"Eh…yes…myself, Bokusenou, Sya, and Myoga. We weren't certain that the trolls were the attackers, so we didn't say anything." Totosai continued.

"Troll demon blood is the only substance that appeared to poison the Dog Demon clan, and they were quite formidable in strength. They had no power to speak of, but they could tear even the strongest steel on two with their bare hands. They are motivated by greed, being material creatures by nature. They covet treasure above everything else and are extremely lazy. Nothing had been taken from the palace the night your Lady mother was killed, so we were reluctant to start a war against the trolls knowing how effective their poison was against the dog demon clan. There had been no reason to attack. The swords were the only objects that might have been tempting enough to entice the trolls into attacking and they were with your father. The attack was very specific to that room, so we believed that _you_ were supposed to be the target, and not your lady mother. The troll demons would have had nothing to gain by killing you, so we concluded that it had to have been someone or something else." Totosai paused as he stared into the fire.

Sesshoumaru felt what was left of his world crumbling. He remembered the mounds of dirt and the scent of the poisonous blood both when his mother had been attacked and when Rin had been attacked. Then he remembered something else.

"No, the attackers were trolls. The forest was sick then just like when they came for Rin. They travel underground. No one would have been able to fake that." Sesshoumaru countered.

Totosai's eyes grew larger. "Then they were assassins for hire. Someone was paying them. Someone promised them a treasure that they couldn't resist. Boy, they weren't after your mother, they were after you. Someone wanted you assassinated." Totosai reasoned in a matter-of-fact voice, sudden awe and realization evident in his voice.

Sesshoumaru felt ill to his stomach. He swallowed and fought to maintain his cool composure.

"Then why would they attack Rin at the palace, and then again in the forest? The attack in the forest makes no sense. They attacked the same room as they did so many years ago. They thought it to be my room then. And again, so many years later, they still thought it to be my room. But why, then, did they leave me alive in the forest." Sesshoumaru reasoned, his mind working to fit the pieces of the puzzle together.

"_Bring me the treasure."_ Sesshoumaru suddenly remembered the huge troll demon lord's orders as it attacked in the forest.

"They left me alive. They wanted my swords and left me alive. They are not working for anyone any longer. They didn't care whether I died or not." Sesshoumaru concluded.

"Think Boy! If they attacked what they thought was your room again after so many years, then at that time, they were still working for someone. They do not attack buildings by nature. They had a purpose in attacking that room this time." Totosai countered.

"Rin was definitely the target of that attack. They tried to enter the room through the window and only fled when I entered the room. They weren't after me this time." Sesshoumaru rationalized.

"Who would benefit from your death all those years ago, and now benefit from young Rin's death? What was so special about then that is the same now?" Totosai asked utterly perplexed.

"The Marking Ceremonies." Sesshoumaru answered simply, but he was still confused.

_What could Rin have to do with my Marking Ceremonies now? She wasn't even born when I gave Kasumi the Kiss during the first ceremony and the first attack occurred. _

Late into the night and early the next morning, the two sat trying to unveil answers the mystery. No more answers came except one. Totosai knew where to find the Troll demon hoard and Sesshoumaru would finally have his revenge.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15: Time Cannot Erase

"I suppose I should give you this before you go. It is yours after all." Totosai's old voice piped up behind Sesshoumaru just as he was about to depart. He turned, annoyed by the delay, to see what it was that the old smith was babbling about. But when the old man held out something wrapped in a raggedy cloth, he froze. He had forgotten about it. He stood starring, unblinking at the small parcel unable to stop the memories from flooding his mind.

"I infused it with the strand of hair as you instructed. It turned out rather well if I do say so myself. I wish I didn't have to part with it so soon." The old smith stated proudly, but his proud stance sagged as Lord Sesshoumaru continued to merely stare at the unwrapped cloth.

"Well do you want it or not?" Totosai rasped impatiently.

Golden eyes sharpened on the old man and Sesshoumaru took a step forward, causing the smith to shrink back. "Show your respect for the object you are holding, Totosai." Ordered Sesshoumaru icily, and then he reached out and slowly, deliberately took the cloth wrapped weapon, his gaze still boring into the now cowering old man. With a blink, Sesshoumaru turned and left, joining Jaken and Ah-Un on the path back through the volcanic lands and headed North. His mind wondered to the blade as he continued his trek.

He had ordered Jaken to go to the smith to commission the blade as a gift for Rin all those months ago, while delivering the marriage propositions to the bordering demon lords.

A wedding gift of sorts.

He had not understood the impulse, nor had he really thought about it. He just knew that he had wanted to give her something. Something of personal value. Something only he could give her.

Slowly he unwrapped the cloth pulling out a piece of parchment folded over the blade and examined the weapon. The dagger was pure perfection, just as Totosai boasted. It was dainty, small enough to fit Rin's feminine hand, and it had a sharp edge and a serrated edge. The hilt was an emerald jade stone sanded and polished to shine with a thin cord winding all the way up and around the hilt. What made the dagger the personal gift that it had meant to be was that it was imbued with one of his own strands of silvery hair.

Slowly he unfolded the parchment and read the forge master's sloppy markings. It explained what powers the blade came to possess with the strand of hair. The blade would cut through anything, and was unavoidable when thrown straight on. When used in a killing blow, it would seal the wound around the blade while embedded in the body, and both freeze and poison the victim instantly. And it would only respond to its true master. It was both beautiful and deadly.

Sesshoumaru tucked the dagger securely into his obi. He would put it in the family shrine at home when he returned, but now he had one more detour to make.

It only took one more day to reach the rocky lands that the trolls were fabled to live, and which Totosai had confirmed. The lands were bare of any vegetation. Those growths that might have been trees at one time were now shriveled and brittle; skeletons of dead trees reaching up into the sky in agony. Massive rock formations jutted out of the ground making a maze of the eerie land and no sound, no life, no movement was evident here.

"Jaken, you will stay here with Ah-Un." Sesshoumaru ordered softly before making his way into the rocky labyrinth in search of the entrance of the den.

It didn't take long for Sesshoumaru to navigate his way through the huge boulders before he found what he was looking for. He was looking up at a huge rock face and a gnarled, old, and very dead tree. He moved around the trunk to look between the tree and the rock wall and found the entrance. It didn't go into the rock face, rather, it went down under the tree and into the ground. He stood for a moment listening and heard no sound, though he could smell the faintest hint of the stench of flesh.

_Good. They're home. _He thought as the dark and eager need for revenge filled him and he made his way into the black hole.

He continued slowly his demon sight adjusting easily to the darkness. He listened intently for any sound that would indicate which vein to follow, but still heard nothing. He followed the main artery passing darkened corridor after darkened corridor and still only had the putrid smell in the air to follow. He was growing impatient when the end of the corridor he was following finally opened up and he found himself in a large chamber. It was filled with rickety tables, black pewter cauldrons, and a huge fire-pit in the middle of the room. It seemed to be some type of preparation or sacrificial chamber, but what caught his immediate attention was the stench of burned flesh and the blackened and rotting corpses that littered the floor. Dozens of bodies, and body parts were strewn across the chamber, all charred to a crisp. The walls seemed to be scorched and the ceiling was black with soot. As he made his way around the chamber, examining the bodies, he was mildly surprised to see that every one of them was the warped body of a troll demon.

Someone or something had beaten him to the kill.

Anger filled him and his vision blurred to a blood red hue as he turned, lashing out at a cauldron with his whip of energy, slicing it and sending it flying across the cavern in a loud clang. Months of pent up rage boiled to the surface and now he had no outlet for it! He lashed out again and splintered a wooden table.

A scrap of color caught his eye as he turned to slice through a particularly bloated corpse and he stopped to look at it. It was a pale pink color with a red pattern on it.

_What a strange place for a scrap of cloth that color. _He thought to himself, his vision bleeding back to normal, as he reached down and picked it up.

_Probably their last meal. _ He surmised as he fingered the silky fabric, but his heart stopped when he suddenly recognized the bit of clothing. It wasn't pink with a red pattern. It was pink with red blood stains. Blood he had smelled before. He knew the scent of this blood well.

It was a piece of Rin's sleeping garment.

For the first time in centuries, bile rose in his throat as he thought of Rin in the hands of these demons.

_Had they killed her and brought her back to devour her, or had they kept her alive long enough to bring her here? Had they eaten her? _He found himself hoping beyond all hope that they had at least killed her first.

Images of the hideous creatures stripping bits of flesh from delicate bones with their sharp, animal like teeth flashed through his imagination. His rebellious mind conjured up the sounds of splintering bone and screams of agony as they fought over pieces of her.

_Had she screamed for him then too? _

He closed his eyes and willed the images away, swallowing and concentrating on breathing. He clenched his fist, his claws piercing through the scrap of silk and digging into the palm of his hand. The pain felt good. Sharp.

And then he felt it. The familiar feeling of a healing power called to him, surrounded him. His eyes shot open and he looked across the floor, searching. It was here. He could feel it!

_Father's fang…_

Tensaiga lay on the ground in the corner of the burnt room.

A sharp pain shot through his heart. What good was it to him now, when he didn't even have a body to call her soul back to?

He retrieved the sword, sheathed it in his obi next to the delicate dagger and turned away from the chamber, leaving behind gruesome scene. Leaving behind the phantom cries. Leaving behind the scrap of cloth that told of a brutal, lonely death.

The troll demons were dead. He didn't care how. He didn't care by whose hand.

_They are all dead._ The grim declaration did nothing to quell the burning hunger for revenge, but it didn't matter anymore.

_It is time to go. _ He told himself resolutely, numbness beginning to blanket his heart once more.

He stopped just outside the entrance, a thought forming. His eyes narrowed as he gathered his power and sent it out, probing the rest of the cavern, searching again. But this time he was searching for an aura of pure evil.

_Toukijin. _

But the sword was not here. He could not detect its presence anywhere in the vast cavern. It would have called to him had it been there.

_The pathetic creatures probably couldn't handle the mighty weapon. _ He sneered to himself. _Or perhaps the mysterious exterminator now possessed it._

_No matter. _ He told himself as he headed back up and out of the now extinct troll demons' lair.

When the sun hit his face and he drew the fresh air into his lungs he felt a bit refreshed. Slowly he made his way back through the rock formations. He could hear Jaken before he could see him, the bothersome little toad mumbling to himself as always. Complaining. Sesshoumaru sniffed in annoyance as he heard his name mentioned in the complaint and quickly found the perfect stone to lob at the insulting little demon.

"…always going off alone! He's going to be killed for sure this time! These demons nearly killed him last time! Why can't Lord Sesshoumaru just…." clunk… "Gah!"

Jaken's grumbling ceased as he went flying off his rock and landed hard on the ground, his feet in the air. "Eh…Lord Sesshoumaru! I'm so relieved you are alright…." The imp swallowed the rest of his sputtering words as he scrambled to his feet and looked at the one ebony eyebrow raised at him.

"I mean….I'm so glad you retrieved your father's sword! I knew those pesky trolls couldn't stand up against you! Did you slaughter them all? How did you kill the large one?"

"They were already dead." Sesshoumaru cut off the babbling toad demon and without another word, hoisted himself up onto Ah-Un's back and guided the dragon into the air, Jaken barely dangling from the scaly dragon tail.

"Master…don't leave meeeee!"

Masahiro, TaiYoukai, Alpha Male of the Tiger Demon Pride, and Lord of the Northern Lands, sat in his study across from the

Lord of the Central Trade Region and leader of the Central Panther Demon Tribe. The panthers had arrived that afternoon weary from their travel and in a rather somber mood, and Masahiro took casual note of Lord Kazuo's matured countenance. It had been years since he had seen the young man. The uniquely white haired panther looked older now. Jagged scars marred his tan skin and his sky blue eyes, outlined with the lines of heavy responsibility, were cold and distant.

"What is it you wished to discuss with me, M'Lord?" Kazuo asked, not looking at the Northern lord, but staring instead at the wall behind him, and Masahiro noted the emotionless mask the once joyful youth now wore. The Northern Lord could all but see the feelings of sadness and loss emanating from the demon before him. He sighed heavily as he examined the panther.

The last time the two had met, Kazuo had been a young, powerless lesser demon with no rank or title. He had been the liaison for the Panther demon tribe that had been sent to witness the marking rituals. But despite his lack of power he was an ambitious youth who had been playful and easy to laugh. And he had fallen in love with Kasumi.

But now, so many years later, the young demon was the leader of the panther demon tribe, and Lord of the most powerful trade routes in the land. It was rumored that an alliance with the West had even been formed. But sitting before Masahiro now was not a successful, confident leader, but a bone-tired and defeated young man.

Blinking out of his moment of contemplation, Masahiro cleared his throat, his mind turning to the business at hand. "My dispatchers have informed me of rumors of an alliance between the Central Region, and the Western lands. Is this information accurate?"

Kazuo maintained his gaze on the spot on the wall, but his eye lashes flickered slightly as he answered. "Hai, M'lord. I was to take Lord Sesshoumaru's ward as a life mate to seal the alliance between our two lands."

Masahiro blinked in surprise. He had heard that Lord Sesshoumaru had allowed a little human female to travel with him, but he had dismissed it as rumor. He had known Sesshoumaru to become a rather uncaring TaiYoukai whose only desire since his parents' death had been for power, and Masahiro knew the unconscious desire driving Sesshoumaru to gain that ultimate power was truly the desire to never be questioned, to never be taken advantage of, and never to be close to anyone who could leave him. Masahiro's heart ached for the youth whenever he thought of him, but the simple fact was that a human female simply did not fit into that equation.

"So the rumors were true. Tell me, what is the human like? She must be particularly unique to have been allowed to stay in Sesshoumaru's care for so long." He could barely contain the ache of curiosity that bubbled up in his chest.

"The Lady Rin had been in Lord Sesshoumaru's care for the past ten years and would be about eighteen now. She…was very kind hearted and a rare beauty among her kind with much grace and intelligence." Kazuo's voice was soft as he answered, his mind adrift with the memory of the young woman.

Masahiro was puzzled. "Was…?" He remembered the panther demon's Second coming to deliver the request for the delay of the marking rituals this last winter. The request had explained that there had been complications during travel and a matter that needed urgent attending that prohibited Lord Sesshoumaru from being in the North. Masahiro had not asked what was so urgent. But, now he wondered….

"His ward was the 'matter' that needed attending to with such urgency?" He inquired somberly.

Kazuo's eyes darted to the Northern Lord's face, cold blue steel locking onto his gaze. "This winter she was traveling to my lands to receive the marks and become my life mate when she was killed by an attacking demon hoard." He stated calmly, his voice void of all emotion.

Masahiro stared in mild shock at the panther. "I am truly grieved to hear about this loss." He offered sympathetically.

Kazuo returned his gaze to the wall.

"Thank-you, but the Lady Rin was not truly my loss, M'lord." He said in a near whisper. "Lord Sesshoumaru needed the time for his own recovery and to mourn her loss."

The gears in Masahiro's head were turning a little faster now as he studied the panther. "In order to give the female as a life mate in accordance with an alliance agreement, Lord Sesshoumaru would have to have acknowledged her as clan." He stated matter-of-factly, though he was truly looking for confirmation.

Kazuo simply nodded.

Masahiro could feel his own eyes widening with mild surprise. _Lord Sesshoumaru must have cared very deeply for the young woman! _

All business once more, Masahiro cleared his throat and continued. "But she is dead now, so the alliance is dissolved?" He asked, the curiosity in his voice clearly laced with hope.

Kazuo let out a long tired breath.

"No M'lord. Lord Sesshoumaru and I have already signed the agreement. The alliance with the West and the Central Region is still in the negotiation stage, though it will be completed after Lord Sesshoumaru's mating rituals."

Masahiro blinked again and attempted to keep control of his expression as he asked his next question. His heart was pounding with hope and anticipation.

"Do you plan to extend the alliance to include the North?" He asked bluntly.

Masahiro watched as Kazuo's eyes darkened. "Only after Lord Sesshoumaru has control, M'lord. You are ready to pass on the lordship of the North, but until Lord Sesshoumaru and the Lady Kasumi are wed, Lord Kane stands to gain control of the Northern lands. The central region does not wish to be involved with such a leader. My alliance is with Lord Sesshoumaru himself." Kazuo answered just as bluntly.

Masahiro nodded in resigned understanding. He shared this dislike and mistrust of his Nephew as well, and could not blame the panther for not wanting to deal with the tiger demon.

The two sat in silence for several moments, each lost in their own thoughts, when Lord Kazuo finally stood.

"Is the Lady Kasumi at home?" He asked mildly. "It has been many years, and I would like to extend my greetings."

Lord Masahiro, lost in his own thoughts, waved vaguely towards the window. "She is down in the gardens."

Two days later, Lord Masahiro sat across from the Western Lord himself. Lord Sesshoumaru had arrived just that afternoon and Masahiro couldn't help but notice the lack of emotion the young lord portrayed. True, the stoic demon had always been rather emotionless, but even his golden eyes were dead now.

"Are you certain that you are ready for this, Lord Sesshoumaru? If you need more time to mourn the loss of your ward…?"

Lord Sesshoumaru's icy voice interrupted the Northern lord's query abruptly. "Enough! We will not speak of her!" He hissed angrily, and then his face went blank and his voice was controlled once more.

"The treaty has been delayed long enough."

Masahiro did not miss the flash of grief that crossed the dog demon's eyes, and the brief moment when raw emotion was thick in his usually bored tone.

_So, he does feel. _

Lord Masahiro sat up late into the night, staring with unblinking eyes into the flickering candle. It was clear that Lord Kazuo still loved his daughter. The two had not parted company for two full days now and though Kasumi was marked by the Kiss and no longer felt for the panther demon, he knew she still remembered her feelings for the panther demon.

He had hoped that Lord Sesshoumaru would come to fall in love with Kasumi as well, but it was clear that such a hope would never become reality. Something had happened that killed even the slightest flicker of such a sentimental emotion in the young demon lord.

He sighed. He couldn't help feeling caught between wanting to give his daughter whatever would make her happy, and having to perform his duty to his lands. He could not allow, no…would not allow the Northern lands to fall into the hands of his nephew. He sighed again as he thought of his dead brother's only son.

Lord Kane was a rather powerful TaiYoukai, who had also made a reputation for himself as a skilled warrior on the battlefield, but he was also selfish and self serving and Masahiro didn't trust the young tiger demon. He remembered the circumstances surrounding his brother's death with bitter disgust. The healer had been certain that his brother had been poisoned, and Masahiro, though he had no real proof, was certain that Kane had been the dealer of that particular death. True, he had no tangible evidence to suggest that Kane would kill his own father, or that he even had a motive, but his intuition told him that Kane was not to be trusted even in the slightest.

Masahiro sighed again. _No…Kane cannot inherit the North. His own selfishness would hinder him from uniting these lands that so need a strong leader, and I am growing old and tired. I cannot continue to maintain control. _

Sadness filled his heart at the thought of what had to be done. It was the sadness of a father knowing he had to take away his child's freedom. Her freedom to fall in love. Her freedom to choose that love over duty.

_But…,_ a thought kept bubbling up to the surface of his thoughts. Something the new panther leader had said kept tickling his mind and forming half ideas….

"_My alliance is with Lord Sesshoumaru himself…" _An idea began to take form.

_No, the first mark has already been given. _He growled at the inner voice that fought with him to see something he was missing…

When the thought finally took full form, it felt like a sharp slap in the face. Masahiro shot to his feet and began pacing his study with excitement.

"The Seal of Approval was given…." He whispered to himself as he began to work out the details of his new possibility.

_Could it possibly work? _He would have to plan carefully. He would have to make sure all was in place before he did it. And…the treaty between to North and the West had to be signed first!

Something was troubling Lord Sesshoumaru as he stood in the great ceremony hall looking down into the glowing face of his intended. He could feel a familiar presence, and yet he couldn't understand it. Casually his gaze swept over the hundreds of guests once more before returning his attention to his intended.

The Lady Kasumi radiated pure beauty as she smiled brilliantly up at him. Her fiery red hair was done intricately with tiny pearls woven through thick curls that cascaded down her back. Her tilted emerald tiger eyes, lined with a light shade of green powder, glowed as she watched his face intently. She wore a delicate cream colored lace with more pearls woven into it over her wedding kimono that accented her silky bronzed skin and flaming hair. She was breathtaking, and she was trembling with sheer excitement.

Hazel green eyes flashed through his mind as he began to slowly draw in his power.

_Enough! _ He silently commanded himself.

Lord Masahiro finished his ceremonial decree and took a step away from the couple.

The moment had arrived.

Sesshoumaru gathered the trembling tiger demoness into his embrace and leaned down, biting sharply into the flesh over Kasumi's collarbone and let his power flow over them both. She would carry his scent now.

Kasumi had wanted to complete the Branding and the Binding together in the marriage bed, but he had refused. He felt no desire for his bride. His heart was dead. He knew he would never again feel anything but a sense of duty. So, he Branded her during the ceremony and the following evening they would share blood and complete the Binding through ceremony as well.

A sudden image of Rin, glowing in the warmth of passion and encircled in his arms assaulted his thoughts and he closed his eyes, willing the torturous image away. He concentrated on the flow of his power, the hush of the crowd, the tangy taste of blood, the scents of lavender and vanilla that Kasumi radiated…

The sweet scent of cherry blossoms assaulted his memory and pushed away all other thoughts, and then he sensed it again.

Pulse

Outwardly calm, he released his hold on Kasumi and looked out over the crowd once more. _I feel it. I'm sure of it. _

Slowly he scanned the crowd of guests that were now on their feet cheering and caught sight of someone he had not expected to see. There, between two neighboring clan leaders, Master Kushil who was actually whistling, and Master Mushin of the temple of the dragonfly, still sitting in his seat, emerald eyes blazing with an odd satisfaction at Sesshoumaru, was Lord Kane.

Pulse

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes at the demon, but was suddenly being embraced by his almost wife. His sight of the tiger was momentarily obstructed, and in that instant Kane was gone.

Twilight progressed into late evening and then turned into the shade of purple night and finally the guests had all retreated to their rooms and camps. Sesshoumaru breathed a deep cleansing breath as he slipped out of the palace. He longed for the peace of solitude and needed to gather his thoughts.

_Kane has it! I'm sure of it! _He declared to himself as he wondered through the vast gardens.

_Kane has my Toukijin._

_The foul tiger was there that night! _He reminded himself as he began to sink into the memory of that horrible night.

_It is too convenient. Rin dead, and Toukijin now in Kane's possession. _Sesshoumaru let out a growl as he thought of what the scenario suggested.

_Kane was obviously in league with the trolls. _His inner anger voiced vehemently.

_But why kill Rin then? Had the tiger not tried to take her as a mate only shortly before then? _His inner voice of reason countered.

_No matter. Toukijin will no doubt have already possessed the weak minded demon. _Sesshoumaru grunted in mild satisfaction at the thought.

_First he will loose his mind, and then I shall take his life. _He told himself, quite pleased with the thought.

Just as he was conjuring a very appealing image of Kane's final agonized breath a scent caught his nose. Salt. Tears. He stopped his wandering and looked around, listening and taking in the scent.

A muffled sob caught his sensitive ear and he turned, looking into the flower bed only a few feet away from where he stood. A dainty form of what could only be a female sat in the middle the pale pink flowers, completely covered by a sheer veil of shimmering black, but though he could not see who was under the veil, she was visibly shaking and he knew she was the source of the sorrow he could feel hanging thick in the air. He turned to leave her to her silent mourning when another scent caught his nose.

Though he could distinctly smell the flowers she crushed in her tiny grip, he could also smell the scent of lavender.

_Kasumi…?_

No. The lavender was not the scent he caught either. It was something else. Something unmistakably male. Something unmistakably…Kane.

He starred at the sobbing figure, eyes narrowing suspiciously. She hadn't sensed his presence yet, so he began to move towards her. It was undeniably there. This female was Branded by Kane.

A plot began to form in his mind.

_Kane's mate could be of use to this Sesshoumaru. _He thought as he stealthily approached the still sobbing figure. He could tell now that she was facing away from him.

_I believe a trade is in order. _

He lengthened his stride as he approached his prey, the salt of her tears mixed with the lavender of her scent stronger with each step. As he approached, he watched her head rise and turn, and he readied himself for a quick pursuit in case she was to flee. But, she did not flee. She did not move. She did not scream. He heard a strangled gasp, heard her heart stop. He grabbed the tiger's mate by the arm, dragging her to her feet, and pulled the veil away from her.

His world completely froze.

_Rin! _


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16: When We Meet Again**

Rin couldn't believe her eyes! Her heart shuttered to a painful halt as she stared wide-eyed at the form holding her in an iron grip, her mind violently rejecting what her vision beheld.

_Se…Sesshoumaru-sama! No! He's dead! _Her inner voice of reason shrieked at her. That solid, knowing, reason which was founded on Master Kane's assurance of her Lord's death, founded on the last image she had of him. The memory of what happened burned across her mind as she stared at him.

_She had screamed until her throat was raw as they dragged her through the trees. And then she had screamed until there was no sound left. She had struggled and fought, all the while, her only thought being of Sesshoumaru. The creature dragging her struggling body had snarled, growled, howled, and laughed as the others that followed slashed at her broken body. She had felt her stomach burn as a thick blade sliced through her flesh. She had felt the warmth of her blood gushing down her lower body and still she had only thought of Sesshoumaru as she screamed, twisted, and fought against her captors. _

_She had felt a slice across her throat and coughed on her salty blood as she continued to try to scream. Still, she sobbed helplessly as the image of Sesshoumaru blurred in her mind's eye. Then, pain burst through her head as the side of her face was slashed at, her eye jammed closed with searing pain, as blood oozed from her open wounds and darkness began to envelope her consciousness. Still she could think only of Sesshoumaru…her Sesshoumaru._

'_I love you.' This final thought was all that was left as she felt herself slipping into the blackness. This final thought whispered desperately through her mind begging to be carried on the wind to her lover's soul. _

_Blackness followed. _

_She had glimpsed the depths of Hell in that blackness._

_The first glimpse had been of a dark place, a ragging fire roaring in a pit that she seemed to be laying next to, demons of the underworld howling as they burned around her, and then blazing green eyes appeared through the flames just before she retreated back into oblivion._

_She floated in a black cloud hazy with crimson light. There was no sound, no light, no touch. There was only the final image in her mind's eye. That horrifying image of Lord Sesshoumaru, her lord, her master, her love,… her Sesshoumaru, still weak from the unique poison coursing through his veins, being run thru by a huge blade, being attacked by three huge trolls, being torn at and forced under the icy water to drown._

_She had tried to cry out, tried to close her eyes and let the anguish and helplessness she felt escape her lungs in a heart-wrenching wail, but nothing happened. The image had played over and over and over… and over…_

_Hell rose up around her once more as suddenly, there had been a sharp pain over her heart. The blazing green eyes of Hell's ruler bore into her as he began to devour her. She felt her flesh rip, felt the ache of the wound, and yet it was foreign and unidentifiable. She could feel herself sucking in her breath ready to scream, but was instantly choking on a thick, salty liquid that burned down her throat, hot flesh being pressed against her mouth._

_Pain shot through her as fire and ice hummed in her veins. The new wound above her heart began to burn with more intensity as she struggled for breath, struggled for consciousness, struggled for understanding. She felt as though a burning light was engulfing her, swallowing her whole, scorching her soul. And just when she was certain that she could take no more, when she begged for her mind to break into a million pieces and scatter, there was sweet blackness once more._

_Slowly she had opened her eyes and tried to focus on the shapes around her. She could hear a soft crackle of fire and see the warm glow of firelight flickering and dancing across the ceiling. She blinked and focused more intently on the shadows and light that flickered on the ceiling, but her left eye would not focus. She had reached up to discover a thick bandage over her eye and then had realized that she also had a bandage around her throat. She swallowed and cringed at the pain. She had tried to sit up, but suddenly there was a force pushing her back against the pillows._

"_Lie down." A deep voice commanded, and she tried to remember who it belonged to, still confused as to where she was or what was happening._

_She had turned her head towards the voice with hope filling her. She had tried to whisper Lord Sesshoumaru's name, but it hurt too much, and all she could do was mouth the word. _

"_Sesshoumaru is dead." The voice barked abruptly. Ice filled her veins as the hope died in her. She remembered what had happened then. A lump formed in her throat and hot tears came as the ache in her heart grew._

"_You are blind in your left eye and you are mute. You should be grateful you are alive." The cold voice came to her once more. And then she knew who the voice belonged to. Her heart skipped a beat as she tried to locate his face._

_Master Kane stood over her peering down at her, but he wasn't the same Kane she remembered. His green eyes were cold and distant, and he had a slightly crazed and unpredictable look on his face. She found herself trembling with fear as she gazed up at him and remembered her…dream._

_Those eyes…the burning creatures, the bite on her chest and the tangy liquid, her survival…_

"_You are mine now." Kane stated simply, confirming her fears, before turning and leaving._

_She was Kane's Life Mate._

_She had tried to die. She had lain in bed for weeks, unmoving, willing her life to slip away. Hunger tore through her and she no longer even needed to relieve herself after a while, but death would not come. It had been weeks when Kane had burst through the door, and yanked her dehydrated body from her pillows._

"_You will eat, or I will force you, but you will eat!" He had hissed. "I still have plans for you that require you to be alive." He stated. "After I am finished with you, I assure you, I will find a way to rid you of your life." He stated coldly before dragging her through the house and tossing her into the bathhouse. "Now clean yourself. You reek. Here, use this." He commanded as he picked up a small satchel of dried herbs and lavender from a nearby shelf and brought them to his nose before throwing them at her feet. "I like this scent best." He purred, a hungry light engulfing his eyes. _

_She had endured months of emptiness and isolation after that. Her days her filled with memories of Jaken and Ah-Un, both dead Kane had assured her. But, her nights were haunted by dreams of Sesshoumaru. Kane came to her on several occasions in a crazed state and had tried to force himself on her, but each time he saw the emptiness in her eyes he would grow even angrier and lock her up for days. "You will desire me as you once did him! You are mine now!" He had howled in rage each time._

Rin blinked as the memory of Sesshoumaru's tortured death and her wretched survival faded. She found herself standing, once more, in the grip of Lord Sesshoumaru. Alive.

_Impossible!_

Slowly she lifted her free hand to his face, shaking with the anticipation of touching him. She paused for a second, afraid to discover that he was not truly there, aching to know that this shadow, this dream was real. So afraid that she would wake when she touched nothing, just as always. Slowly she reached out and touched his striped cheek and felt the warm soft flesh, felt his firm jaw, watched as his eyelashes fluttered over honey colored eyes, almost imperceptibly.

He did not let go of her. He did not move. He did not speak. He did not even blink. He simply stood and stared at her, golden eyes blazing through her soul as she raked her gaze over his flawless face, his expression unreadable just as it always was. She continued her awe struck path of touch down his pale throat, to his collarbone and onto his warm, firm chest where she could feel his heart beat. The pounding vibration sent life electrifyingly sharp through her body. Her heart abruptly began to beat once more, and suddenly she was in the land of the living again.

_He's alive! _Tears of a sorrowful kind of joy streamed freely down her face as she realized that this time, he had not disappeared when she had touched him.

But as her eyes came up to meet his once more she was suddenly flung harshly away from him. She hit the cold ground forcefully and rolled several times before she could right herself. Confused, she rolled to her feet and crouched, instinctively in a defensive stance, not understanding what had just happened. When she was able to focus her good eye on Lord Sesshoumaru once more, she gulped in her breath and cringed at what she saw. His eyes glowed a demonic red, his hair swirled around him in the suddenly power charged air, his sharp fangs elongating.

"Betrayal." He hissed softly. Dangerously.

_**88888**_

Sesshoumaru stared at the young woman he held in his grasp with utter astonishment. His mind could not comprehend what he was seeing. This female, this young woman, Kane's mate was Rin. But this female did not smell like his Rin. This female did not smile like his Rin. He blinked once, his face remaining passive and unreadable, but he took in every inch of her. Her hair still glistened in the moonlight; her skin was still creamy smooth though pale now. No doubt from traveling with that hideous veil. But he could clearly see why she traveled with the veil. He was reminded of Kazuo as he looked over her scarred face and throat. An angry red scar ran from the tip of her forehead at her scalp all the way down her face, through her left eye, and all the way down to her chin. Her left eye was pure white, the eyebrow was gone, and her eyelashes were nonexistent. The bare eye rolled sightlessly in its socket. Another thick scar crossed her throat from her right ear to her left collarbone, standing out in direct contrast to her pale skin. But when he looked into her right eye, her good eye, it sparkled a bright hazel green and glistened with unshed tears as she stared up into his face. His Rin.

_She's alive_! He simply couldn't believe it.

He looked over her entire form once more, to be sure she was indeed real. His grip tightened on her arm as he locked gazes with her once more and could hear her heart beating faster and faster. He watched as her eyes became unfocused on his face, lost in an unseen memory.

Answers to questions he hadn't even realized he was seeking began to form in his mind as he stood looking at her. Kane had been there that night, had been in league with the trolls, and now here was Rin, alive, and mated to Kane! He didn't need to guess to know how she had survived the troll attacks, and he was sure that that was all part of their plan as well. A distraction! They had planned on the marks healing her from the beginning! She was in on the whole thing!

Sesshoumaru felt the rage building in him. He flung her away from him in disgust and sneered at her.

"Betrayal." He hissed as he watched her hit the ground and roll to her feet instinctively, her one good eye focusing on him. She said nothing, only slightly shook her head, her eye going even wider.

The look of shock and confusion only infuriated him more.

_Did she think I wouldn't figure it out?_

Anger filled his heart as she continued to merely stare at him. She said nothing. She did not plead for forgiveness of deny his accusations. She just stood there with the look of shock on her face.

She doesn't even have the decency to look ashamed!

"You are the tiger's mate, are you not? The very demon who hired those troll demons to attack my household time and time again." He asked her calmly, seemingly indifferent. He watched as her eyes got even larger and tears began to well up in her eye once more, but still she said nothing! Denied nothing!

Fury carried him to her instantly and he reached out and snatched her by the arms, hauling up close to his face so that he could see every fleck of color in her eye, hear her heart beat, and detect the slightest lie.

"Do you deny it?" He growled as he shook her.

A tear slid down her face as she began to shake her head, but he suddenly and forcefully ripped her robes open to reveal the tell tale mark above her breast. Kane's mark was over her heart, the lovers' position for such a mark. His grip tightened on her arms as he growled down at her.

"He wanted you for a mate. He challenged me when I would not give my consent. Do you think I have forgotten? Were you in on his plan to attack my household then as well? Were you really trying to flee with him the night the troll demons were breaking into your room?" He whispered as he dragged her up against his body.

His lips came dangerously close to hers as he took in her scent, her racing heartbeat, and her silence. "Did I truly foil your plan….that night….in the forest? I remember the way I found you then, and I remember that he was there that night as well. Did you think I had forgotten?" He whispered against her mouth, his breath caressing her trembling lips.

And still she merely stared, wide eyed at him and shook her head. Her heart was racing and she smelled of lavender and fear.

He let go of one arm and slowly, deliberately withdrew the jade dagger he had at his waist and brought it up to her chin, the tip digging into the soft skin at her throat. "Can you give me a reason why I should not kill you right here and now?" He whispered across her lips, his gaze locking with hers. She began to tremble and swallowed, and he knew she was afraid to even move now. He yanked her around and pinned her trembling form to him, the dagger going to her breast. "Or perhaps I should cut your heart out." He shoved her away from him once more and she landed in a heap on the ground at his feet. He threw the dagger into the ground at her feet, and when she looked up at him he growled again.

"It was to be a wedding gift." He toned softly, his eyes going to the jade hilt of the dagger. A sense of defeat rushed through him and he found he couldn't even look at her anymore, the sting of her betrayal throbbing through him.

He would let her live a while longer. It didn't matter anyhow. When he killed Kane, she would die as well. Then he would be done with them both, but he wanted Kane to suffer. If he killed Rin now, Kane would follow, and he would not have the chance to torture the tiger the way he wanted to.

His demon sense picked up on another presence in the gardens and knew who it was immediately. Slowly he turned to face his enemy, ready to kill him once and for all.

Kane stepped from the shadows into the dim moonlight as sneered. "Have you finished with your wedding night soon, Lord Sesshoumaru?

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes, at the odd question as he took in the sight of the other demon. Kane's fiery red hair was pulled back in a high ponytail, his bronze skin glowing in the moonlight. He wore the formal dress robes he had been wearing at the ceremony earlier as well, but it was the sword at his side that caught Sesshoumaru's attention. He casually continued his scrutiny of the demon, not allowing his gaze to linger on the sword for more than a brief glance.

"You did not seek me out to ask me that." He said, giving his icy reply to the cocky demon.

Kane laughed. "Actually, you are wrong. I was very pleased to discover that you had already left your marriage bed. Was Binding Kasumi as pleasurable as Binding Rin was?" He asked, a hint of amusement in his voice.

Sesshoumaru became utterly still at the comment. Anger already filled him, but cursed jealousy began to burn a path through his heart and lungs as well. He pushed the feelings aside and merely blinked at the tiger, outwardly unaffected by any of the demon's comments.

Kane's smile faded just a little when Sesshoumaru didn't react. "Very well, we will skip the small talk. Prepare yourself for death, Lord Sesshoumaru." He hissed as he drew Toukijin from his obi.

Sesshoumaru momentarily felt the urge to laugh at the utter foolishness of the deranged tiger, but he held himself in check.

_Does he truly think he can defeat me with my own sword? _

Slowly Kane began to approach Sesshoumaru, sword in hand, and it was then that Sesshoumaru noticed the look in the tiger's eyes. He was insane. The sword merely contributed to this insanity.

"Tell me, what did you offer to the troll demons to assassinate my mother?' Sesshoumaru asked as he began to back out of the gardens and in to the forest, leading Kane away from the palace.

Kane laughed again. "Fool! They were supposed to kill you! Your mother was in the wrong place at the wrong time! Ha! And what of it anyhow? Because of you I had to kill my own father!"

Sesshoumaru glared at the tiger, his eyebrow arching questioningly.

"He found out that I was trying to kill Kasumi. I wouldn't have tried to kill her if she hadn't become engaged to you! She doesn't want the throne. Everyone knows that, but if she were to marry, then her mate would take it! I had to get rid of her so that she wouldn't marry you! But father, oh so clever father, found out!"

He began ranting to himself angrily. "Those idiots were supposed to kill everyone in the camp and dispose of Kasumi and the Panther. It was supposed to look like a kidnapping!" He growled. "But the stupid trolls underestimated the panther demon!" He hissed lowly to himself, but his eyes suddenly snapped up to meet Sesshoumaru's.

The tiger's eyes were beginning to blaze a brilliant green as he became more and more enraged. He continued to trail after Sesshoumaru as he made his way into the forest.

"When people began to suspect, I had to halt my attempts to dispose of Kasumi, but that didn't mean I couldn't just dispose of you! That's when I ordered the trolls to kill you, but they killed your mother instead! Fools! They are truly stupid creatures, but they will do anything for something they deem "treasure". Those idiots actually wanted the Sounga so bad that they were willing to attack the Dog Demon Clan! Fools!"

Sesshoumaru felt the anger in him boiling through his veins.

"When they failed, they refused to try again, until decades later when I discovered that the Dog demon lord had forged two more swords. I lured them into a new deal with the promise of the oh-so-powerful swords and hired Ryuukotsusei to aid them, but he succeeded in only killing the Dog demon lord! What good was that supposed to do!" Kane ranted in exasperation, completely unaware that he was rattling off his lifetime of treachery and treason to his very target.

"I should have known that Ryuukotsusei would not have been able to stay focused on the proper target! He had always had an unhealthy hatred for Inutashio." Kane sneered as he became lost in some unseen memory. "And then he got himself trapped in an enchanted sleep, so he was no longer useful to me!" The tiger demon's eyes became hazy and unfocused as he continued his pursuit of Sesshoumaru, and he began to curse to himself. He blinked and the emerald fire of his gazed was once more on Sesshoumaru.

It all made sense now. Kane had been behind all of the attacks from the beginning! All of them! He had not even suspected that the rouge attack on the panther demon camp the week before the first marking ritual had been tied into all of his problems. It was all for greed! His entire family dead, and years of death and destruction, loneliness and anger, had all been for the greed of this one puny tiger.

"Are you ready to die Lord Sesshoumaru? For now that you are bound to Kasumi both of you will perish! I shall have what is mine! Your lands, your swords, your woman, and your life! Prepare yourself!" Kane yelled as he charged Sesshoumaru, Toukijin raised and ready to strike. His eyes began to blaze a demonic hue of green, his teeth becoming fangs, his nails elongating and becoming razor sharp talons. With a single slash of his energy whip Sesshoumaru sent Toukijin flying out of reach, and sending Kane sailing through the air to land hard on his back. Sesshoumaru's own demonic aura began to grow about him, his power crackling in the air, and his true form swimming just below the surface of his eyes. Anger pulsed through him as the tiger demon snarled and charged again. His body beginning to change shape. Half tiger, half angry humanoid, Kane roared as he hurtled towards the completely still form of Sesshoumaru. With the flick of a wrist the crazed demon was thrown back again, and as he rose again he began to grow. Before Sesshoumaru now stood a huge snarling tiger, flames trickled from its claws, and danced in its glowing green eyes. Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow at the flames trickling from the tiger, and he briefly recalled the scorched den of the troll demons.

_So the tiger is a fire demon._

Sesshoumaru felt a twinge of excitement as he began to transform into his true form. It had been a long time since he had stretched his claws. Within seconds fire-breathing tiger clashed with poison dripping hellhound. They slashed at one another, biting and growling, tearing at each other's flesh as they fought for dominance, each giving as good as he got, and Sesshoumaru found himself mildly impressed with his opponent's skills.

But suddenly Kazuo was between the two, slashing at Kane with a sharp dagger and attempting to break the two apart.

_The fool! He's wishes for a swift death! _ Sesshoumaru growled a warning to Kazuo, knocking him out of the way, but the panther rolled and with the speed and grace of the sleek feline he was, he rolled to his feet and leapt into the battle once more.

"No!" He yelled as he tried to pry the huge jaws of the dog demon away from the tiger.

_He's trying to…prevent Kane's death!_ Realization hit Sesshoumaru as he battled to shake the pesky panther from him while Kane took another swipe at him.

"Don't…don't kill him!" Kazuo grunted as he rolled to his feet yet again.

But the distraction gave Kane just enough time to strike. He had a death grip on the Dog Demon's throat and dragged him to the ground hissing. But suddenly there was a loud "thunk" and the tiger went rigid. He began to howl as his entire body suddenly began to steam and then freeze…from the inside out. It was then, in a puzzled shock, that Sesshoumaru saw it. The jade hilt of Rin's dagger protruded from the tiger's chest. A deathblow.

Sesshoumaru threw the freezing demon off him and whirled around to find Rin on her knees a few feet away, her arms wrapped around her abdomen in excruciating pain, her eyes locked onto Sesshoumaru. She mouthed something and he felt his stomach drop.

It had looked like…."I love you." He was sure of it.

The tiger gurgled in agony once more behind him and he watched as Rin began to convulse. She tipped her head back as though screaming silently. And then she collapsed. Kazuo was on his knees at her side in seconds, his eyes glowing with worry, and then Sesshoumaru understood why Kazuo had been trying to stop the fight. He hadn't been trying to save Kane. He had been trying to save Rin.

_**88888**_

Rin had lain in the dirt sobbing brokenly. Lord Sesshoumaru had been so angry! He had accused her of betraying him, but…she would never do such a thing. But, she had no way of making him understand. How could he think that of her after…what they had shared? How could he hate her? How could this happen?

_He doesn't understand!_

Suddenly Lord Kazuo had appeared before her, grasping her shoulders and shaking her slightly. "Lady Rin! Are you hurt! It's a miracle you are alive! But the panther's excitement was short lived as he had taken in the wretched state the young woman was in. "What has happened?"

She pointed in the direction the two Taiyoukai had gone and then turned pleading eyes back to the panther. He was staring at her face, her scars. "You are Lord Kane's mate." He stated simply and she realized that he had detected Kane's foul scent. Slowly she nodded, her head dropping in shame. "Lord Sesshoumaru…?" But he knew what had happened.

Rin lifted her head, her face lined with tears, and patted at her throat to indicate that she couldn't speak, and he nodded. "He thinks you betrayed him?" Kazuo asked as he began to imagine how Sesshoumaru's heart must have soared with happiness and then plummeted at discovering she was the despicable tiger's mate.

She nodded.

"He doesn't realize you are mute?" He asked as he watched tears stream helplessly down the woman's torn face.

She shook her head.

"He is just hurt. That's all." Kazuo tried to reassure her, but a sudden realization came to him.

"Are they together in the forest?" He asked suddenly, fear gripping his heart.

She nodded again.

"Stay here!" He commanded and was on his feet and gone in the blink of an eye.

Rin sat there, her heat broken. _He is alive!_ She reminded herself. But then she remembered that Kane had Lord Sesshoumaru's sword. That fact would surely anger Lord Sesshoumaru further.

_Sesshouamru-sama will kill Kane for certain._ But the thought sent chills through her entire being. She would die with Kane. The Binding mark would make certain that her bound soul would follow her "mate's" to the underworld.

She was on her feet instantly and running through the trees in search of the battling demons. Her heart was in her throat as she thought of all the things she wanted to tell Lord Sesshoumaru. There were so many things that he didn't understand!

_If I should die by his hand, he must know that I love him first! _

But just as she burst through the trees she saw the most horrifying scene of her life. Two great beasts tore at each other as Lord Kazuo tried in vain to separate the two, but suddenly the tiger had the great white hound by the throat and twisted it top the ground, ready to tear the dog's throat out.

_Sesshoumaru-sama! _ Her heart stopped. Time froze as she instinctively hurled the slender dagger in her hand at the flaming tiger. It hit its mark instantly and just as suddenly she felt the sharp pain in her own chest. But Lord Sesshoumaru was alright. He was transforming back into his human form. He was alright!

Her vision began to blur as she watched his face, his eyes upon her now, and she was vaguely aware that Lord Kazuo was running towards her.

_He's alive. That's all that matters. _

She tried to tell him; tried to sound out the words to let him know. But all that came out was a raspy whisper as she fell.

An all too familiar blackness engulfed her soul and she succumbed to it.

_I love you…Sesshoumaru. _

_**88888**_

A disturbing laugh, cold and ironic, made Sesshoumaru turn once more to the dying tiger, drawing his attention from Rin for only a moment. The tiger's attention was directed at the dying young woman. "Little fool! Faithful to _him_ until the very end. But, now you'll die with me! At least I still have you and he doesn't." He coughed, and then slumped to the ground, unmoving, his last breath falling from his now frozen lungs.

The tiger's words made Sesshoumaru's heart shutter painfully and he suddenly wanted only to hold Rin in his arms once more. He wanted to tell her that he was ready to listen, that he was ready to forgive her, ready to apologize. He jerked around and strode to her fallen form, Kazuo bowing over her. The panther looked up when he approached. "She is gone." He choked.

His heart jerked again, as he stood unmoving, and watched the pale haired panther rise to his feet. "I will go fetch Lord Masahiro." He said as he laid a hand on Sesshoumaru's shoulder for a moment and then headed back through the trees towards the palace.

Sesshoumaru stood frozen, looking at her still form. This time there was no mistaking it. Rin was gone. She lay before his very eyes, dead.

Smoothly, Sesshoumaru unsheathed Tensaiga and held it poised over her still form. He poured his yokai into the blade and waited for the demons of the underworld to appear, ready to strike at them and banish then back to hell.

_You cannot have her. _He told them silently as he waited.

Minutes passed, his concentration strong as he watched, ready for the moment to strike, and still no demons appeared before his blade. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion and his heartbeat quickened with unease. He passed the blade through the air over her body, striking, waiting for her heart to begin beating, waiting for her to begin breathing again.

Nothing.

He slashed the blade through her lifeless body this time.

Nothing.

The demon lord staggered back, unable to comprehend what was happening.

_Tensaiga fails me! _

He stared at the blade for a moment before lowering it to his side and sinking to his knees before Rin's motionless form. His eyes searched her face, his heart clenching painfully. She did not look peaceful. She looked as though it had hurt to die. Slowly, he reached out and caressed her soft cheek and brushed a strand of hair away from her face. He leaned over her, holding his breath and watching for something. Anything.

He couldn't breath. He couldn't move.

_What have I done? _

A drop of wetness fell thick on her cheek and he wondered where it had come from.

"Rin…you are fine…open your eyes." He whispered to her, dimly aware that his voice trembled and his throat ached. She would never disobey him. Never.

And still she lay there lifeless before him.

He had failed her. She had given him her entire life, her love, her very soul, and he had failed her. His heart ached as he sat back on his knees and then leaned forward over her again, restless and helpless.

Slowly he reached out and pulled her into his embrace one hand still clutching the traitorous "sword of life". She was lying in the dirt, on the cold ground, and that simply wouldn't do. Betrayal or no, she had died for him. He pulled her up to his burry his nose in her hair taking in the scent of lavender on her skin, his eyes squeezing shut as he felt them begin to sting painfully. _She does not smell like the cherry blossoms she loves so much. _A thick lump formed in his throat as he cradled her and focused on her scent. He could feel his body beginning to tremble as he sat there, holding his lost love.

_I loved her. I…loved her. I….loved…her. _

**_Pulse…_**

_**88888**_


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17: Pulse…**

PULSE

Sesshoumaru's head shot up, his eyes going to the young woman's face. She lay completely limp in his arms, not a flutter of an eyelash, no intake of breath, no movement at all. She was dead.

PULSE

His confused gaze shot to the sword in his hand. It pulsed its calling once again. But when his golden eyes roamed over Rin's form once more, there were no guardians from the underworld to slice through. There were no demons to battle for Rin's captured spirit.

PULSE

But the sword was alive and demanding in his hand. Demanding that a spirit be set free from the clutches of death. Demanding that a life be returned. A sickening thickness landed in his stomach as he slowly turned to look at the frozen body of his slain enemy. Kane lay motionless, a solid block of ice now. Slowly, he approached the tiger's body and as he came closer, Tensaiga pulsed again.

The sword's intentions were suddenly clear. _Not him. _Sesshoumaru gripped the sword tighter as he began to feel the rage building in him. Somewhere in the back of his mind a memory came forth of the two weaknesses the sword possessed. First, it could not kill, and second, it would not revive a single life more than one time.

PULSE

The sword called to him again.

_No! _Angrily, he thrust the traitorous sword in the hard, unforgiving earth and turned back to Rin. He could hear Kazuo approaching with Lord Masahiro and the guards now. He looked down at Rin's pale grey face and took a deep breath, trying to gain control of himself once more. _It is better this way. _He tried to convince himself as he took another deep cleansing breath. His heart ached with every breath, and he found that he was actually used to the feeling of late. Somehow, Rin was now in his arms as he gazed down at her, caressing her cheek with one long claw.

_These… feelings… weaken me. It is better that she is dead. She was a traitor._ He rationalized even as he brushed a stray lock of ebony hair from her brow.

_She gave her life for me. _His heart reminded him.

_I…love her. I will accept that. But she betrayed me. She…_ Anguish filled him at the thought of his beautiful little Rin turning on him. He could not think of the moment she had come to be in his trust. He could not place the moment she had made herself indispensable to him. He puzzled over it. And, he could not think of a moment he had _not_ loved her. She had claimed his heart, even if she had never known.

He let out a growl as he began to pace back and forth in the darkness cradling her in his arms. Tensaiga's now steady hum was pulling at him as the two sides of himself battled from within trying to gain control. _She…I…wanted…_

_It will never happen again. _He vehemently promised himself as he furiously paced back and forth. _Never! _He promised the Fates. _NEVER! _He promised the memory of his father.

"Lord Sesshoumaru." Lord Masahiro's deep voice snapped him out of his thoughts and he spun to find the Northern Lord standing over his nephew looking at the frozen corpse. Kazuo stood with the guards, his sky blue eyes staring at Rin's still form.

Lord Masahiro spoke again. "Lord Sesshoumaru, what has transpired here? How has my nephew come to be in this state?" He demanded harshly as he straightened and gave the demon lord his full attention. His fiery green gaze darted to Rin held tenderly in Lord Sesshoumaru's embrace. Green eyes narrowed.

"And why do you hold my nephew's ningen mate like that?" He asked, his voice shrewd with calculated thought.

Sesshoumaru merely stared at the Northern Lord. He did not care for the way the demon lord had referred to his Rin and was about to tell him so when another voice answered.

"M'lord, she is the Lady Rin." Kazuo's calming voice came steadily from the darkness. "And, she is the wielder of the blow that killed Lord Kane,…sacrificing her own life as she dealt it." He finished the short explanation.

Lord Masahiro's eyebrows rose with understanding as he gazed at the young woman in the silver haired demon's arms, and then turned and sneered down at his dead nephew. "Despicable creature. He has died with dishonor."

"Why do you not just…?" But the Tiger demon's question died as his eyes lit upon the glint of steel in the darkness and made out a sword protruding from the earth. Green eyes darted back to Rin's pale face with sudden understanding. If this young woman was Lord Sesshoumaru's ward, and the rumors of how she came to be with the demon lord were true, then the sword would not revive her again. It was told that the sword would only call back a soul but one time.

One more look at the way the demon lord pointedly ignored the sword and cradled the girl answered all of his questions. The demon lord had now truly lost the only being in this world he cherished, and the one object that had even the slightest hope of returning her to him was useless.

Masahiro met Lord Sesshoumaru's cold golden gaze briefly before turning to the guards. "Bring him." He commanded shortly as he waved absently to the solid mass that was Kane before making his way back to the palace. "Lord Sesshoumaru, I would have a word with you in one hour in my study." He stated as he continued up the path and then turned the corner, out of sight.

Lord Sesshoumaru eyed Kazuo for several moments before speaking. The panther demon stood waiting for Sesshoumaru's command. He had become a loyal friend these past few months, and it gave Sesshoumaru pause to think that for a brief moment when he was battling Kane, that he had believed Kazuo had been trying to aid Kane. But that had not been the case. He had been trying to save Rin. But he found himself unclear as to why.

"Why did you try to stop me from killing the tiger?" He asked, the words spoken in a casual, bored tone. He stood unmoving as he waited for the panther's answer.

Sky blue eyes met golden as the snowy haired panther demon straightened his shoulders and lifted his chin. "I smelled the Life Mate marks on Lady Rin and knew his death would end her life as well." He answered matter-of-factly.

Sesshoumaru's eyebrow rose slightly. "Why did that matter to you?"

"I spoke briefly with the Lady and found that she was damaged…mute. I knew of your feelings for…" Kazuo stumbled over his words. "I knew of your anger over her…that is…she had been unable to explain herself. I did not wish for you to regret…." Kazuo let out a breath as he halted his explanation, and hoped that he had not overly angered the powerful demon.

Sesshoumaru blinked slowly. _Mute? Perhaps. But, even so…_

"She betrayed me. For that I would have killed her myself." He hissed angrily as he began to stalk off towards the palace. To Kazuo, it sounded as though the stoic demon were trying to convince himself of this truth. Sesshoumaru paused when he reached Kazuo's side, the barest hint of a breeze fluttering through the long silver strands of hair at his back. "You have shown great loyalty and honor in your actions." He toned in his smooth emotionless voice. "I acknowledge you, Lord Kazuo, leader of the central panther demon tribe, as a member of my pack. Do you accept my acknowledgement?" He held out a clawed hand.

Lord Kazuo stood open mouthed for only a moment before speaking in a voice hoarse with emotion. "I accept your acknowledgement, Lord Sesshoumaru, ruler of the western lands. Brother." He reached out and clasped Sesshoumaru's arm from the elbow, Sesshoumaru doing the same. Power surged through their grip as the pact was sealed. A strange throbbing was suddenly present all around him, but he was too stunned to pay it much mind.

Sesshoumaru nodded once before disappearing into a ball of light and streaking away, Rin still clutched in his tender embrace.

Lord Kazuo stood alone in the darkness for several moments blinking in shock and feeling the overwhelming sense of honor that had just been bestowed upon him. At that moment, he swore his fealty to the Western Lord. He would stand by his new brother's side tomorrow night and give his silent blessing and approval as Lord Sesshoumaru gave the final mark to the Lady Kasumi and became rightful ruler of the Northern Lands as well as the West.

Kazuo could not help the jerk his heart gave at the thought of the Lady Kasumi. No matter where his loyalties were, he could not help the ache in his heart, or the cry for mercy his soul seemed to let out every time he thought of his lost love.

He turned to walk back up to the palace when he felt it. The strange tingling through his spine, the odd throbbing that was nagging at the back of his mind made him turn and he found the source of the sensation. The great fang, Tensaiga, was protruding from the ground, forgotten. He felt the sword's aura pulse as he approached and wondered what it was trying to do.

_Strange. I had not noticed it before…_ But a thought suddenly occurred to him. Hehad not felt it until Lord Sesshoumaru acknowledged him as pack. _The bond of the pack must allow me to feel the fang's power._ A power that only the great Dog Demon pack could sense and a power only one specific Inu-Taiyokai could wield. But why was the sword now protruding form the ground, its pulse ignored. He was fairly certain that Lord Sesshoumaru had felt it. Why, the sword was practically humming! He knew the tale of the sword, and he knew that Lord Sesshoumaru had indeed revived Lady Rin when she was no more than a child and that the sword would only return a soul to the living but once.

_What is the sword trying to…?_ But the query died instantly as realization struck him and suddenly Lord Sesshoumaru's blatant disregard for the sword was apparent.

_The Tensaiga wants Kane's life restored._

_**888888**_

"Because I want revenge!" Lord Masahiro roared. He paced the length of his study in obvious frustration as he argued with the Western Lord. Energy radiated from him as he paced, ripples of an elemental power shimmered around him, and Lord Sesshoumaru was reminded of how powerful the old demon really was. He was an alpha tiger demon. He was also TaiYoukai, and a fire cat. Kane had inherited that particular family trait.

The tiger demon had been trying unsuccessfully for quite a while to convince Lord Sesshoumaru to use the Tensaiga and revive his nephew. No amount of attempted convincing had swayed the stubborn lord so far and he was becoming rather exasperated.

Lord Sesshoumaru's ebony eyebrow rose at his outburst and Masahiro felt a slight tinge of triumph. _Good. He is finally intrigued._

He sighed and began pacing the length of his study while he mentally constructed his new reasoning. "He killed my brother." He stopped and looked up into cold golden eyes. "Lord Kazuo tells me that he attempted to murder my daughter." He took up his pacing once more. "I want revenge for all of the wrongs he has committed."

"Revenge will not bring you peace, Lord Masahiro." Sesshoumaru stated calmly as he watched the Northern Lord. The pacing demon had a strange look in his eyes. A look full of premeditation. But there was something more. There was desperation. Normally he would be curious of the motives behind the Northern Lord's apparent scheming, but he was simply not in the mood for any of this at the moment.

"But, revenge will bring me some satisfaction. Some closure." Masahiro argued.

Sesshoumaru growled inwardly, anger at the thought of the despicable creature threatening to suffocate him. He also wished revenge on the tiger. He wanted to see the tiger revived over and over to be killed again and again in some inventively gruesome way each time. He wanted to tear the tiger limb from limb, but not for his treachery. No. His thoughts were only of Rin and how Kane had taken her from him, turned her against him. For that he wished the tiger could suffer a thousand brutal deaths. But, such a fate would not change the fact that Rin had betrayed him. And it would not bring her back to him either.

Outwardly, the dog demon merely stared at Lord Masahiro, not even fluttering an eyelash. "I will not waste my time." He stated simply, as though stating the weather.

"If not for me, then for…your future mate." Masahiro pleaded, and Sesshoumaru could not ignore the feeling that the Northern lord's words were laced with a double meaning.

Golden eyes narrowed on the tiger. He nodded once.

_**888888**_

Several hours had passed since the grueling events of the night and dawn was fast approaching. The entire palace was buzzing with gossip and the guests all awake and eager for the day to unfold and shed light on the unfortunate events.

Lord Masahiro led the way to the ceremony room, Lord Kazuo and Lord Sesshoumaru following in silent determination. As they approached, Sesshoumaru could see that the room was bathed in orange fire light and he detected the scent of perfume in the heated air. He slowed as they approached the entrance, his reservations about what he had agreed to do weighing down his every step. Masahiro disappeared into the entrance followed closely by Kazuo, and Sesshoumaru found himself hesitating. He knew what he would see in that room. His anger at Rin's betrayal had boiled down to acceptance, but his heart still ached at knowing he would never be able to confront her. He would never be able to forgive her. He would never be able to tell her how he felt for her. He angrily pushed the useless thoughts from his mind and stepped into the room. It had no windows, but the fire pit in the middle of the room blazed with a fierce fire that cast sharp edged, flickering shadows across the walls. The only other objects in the rooms were the two covered bodies of the dead.

Sesshoumaru's eyes landed on the smaller form covered by a sheet and instantly averted his gaze away from the sight. He was suddenly lost in the moment someone had pried her body from his embrace. He had arrived at the palace still cradling her in his arms and had stood unmoving for several moments lost in bittersweet memories of the past as servants began to flutter around him trying to convince him to hand her over.

Sesshoumaru caught Lord Masahiro's gaze, and snapped out of his thoughts. He was not unaware of the fact that just as his eyes met the Northern lord's, the tiger's eyes darted nervously away from him and went to kneel beside the larger form pulling the sheet away. Sesshoumaru caught the scent of perfume once more and knew that the bodies had already been washed and prayed over in preparation for burial. He fought against the bile rising in his throat at the thought of some servant washing the vulnerable, naked body of his Rin.

_Enough! _He commanded himself inwardly. _Get on with the task at hand and be done!_

Swiftly, Sesshoumaru moved to stand over the lifeless grey form of Kane. He drew the pulsing Tensaiga in one swift motion and swept it over Kane's body. The sword pulsed in his hand and the salivating guardians of the underworld appeared instantly, tugging at the soul binding chains they held in their clutches and laughing maniacally at Sesshoumaru. Smoothly, effortlessly, emotionlessly, Sesshoumaru sliced through the creatures and then sheathed Tensaiga at his side. In shrieks only Sesshoumaru could hear, the creatures disintegrated, and then Kane was engulfed in a red light. Sesshoumaru turned and headed for the door without a word, but as he turned to look back at the filth he had just resurrected, he was shocked to see Lord Masahiro and Lord Kane huddled in anticipation, not around Kane, but around Rin.

Kane jerked to a sitting position as he took in his surroundings. His green eyes wild and confused. When his eyes landed on Sesshoumaru, they shot to the sword at his side, and then to the other figure lying unmoving at the other side of the chamber. He began to laugh uncontrollably. The guards surrounded him swiftly, restraining the demon. "Fool!" He screeched and then continued to laugh.

Lord Sesshoumaru frowned in confusion when Lord Masahiro showed absolutely no interest in the nephew he had been so desperate to have revived.

"I don't understand. I was so certain." Masahiro muttered as he leaned over Rin's lifeless form. Lord Kazuo's shoulders slumped as though in defeat.

"What goes on here?" Sesshoumaru demanded coldly. But he would not get his answers just yet. He felt it only seconds before it happened.

Power burst through the room, a bright light engulfing Rin's body, and then instantly was gone. Lord Masahiro had been hurled away from the girl and Kazuo had been forced back against the wall by the sheer force of the power. Sesshoumaru moved forward, his eyes locked on his dead ward's face. No longer were there jagged scars across her throat, her face was smooth, her brow whole. Kane's laughter had halted, and now he was pleading in short pathetic whimpers, "No, no, no, no…" And then Sesshoumaru heard it.

Beat

It was faint at first, the softest of sounds.

B-beat

Sesshoumaru's breath caught as he stepped closer, unable to believe what he was seeing.

Ebony eyelashes fluttered open and a perfect hazel gaze locked with his own shocked golden eyes.

_**888888**_

For the second time that early morning Sesshoumaru found himself standing, unmoving, in Lord Masahiro's study watching the northern lord pace back and forth. This time the tiger was radiating excitement.

"Amazing. Simply astounding." He muttered again as he turned and marched back across the room.

He stopped and turned his attention to Sesshoumaru. "Are you not happy about this m'lord?"

Sesshoumaru merely stared at him.

Lord Masahiro began to pace once more. "It occurred to me that although the great fang would not call back the Lady's soul, her soul was bound to my nephew's by mark. When master Kazuo explained that the young woman was your ward, I assumed you would want…"

"Enough." Sesshoumaru commanded, his golden gaze growing molten with a surge of emotion.

Masahiro continued on as though he had not heard him. "…want her revived. And so I thought that perhaps if you called back my nephew's soul, her bound soul would follow. Most remarkable! They are both completely healed and what's even more remarkable is that the marks…"

"Enough." Sesshoumaru commanded again, this time more forcefully as his gaze rose to the ceiling.

But the tiger kept right on chattering excitedly. "…the marks seem to have been 'healed' as well! Her soul was pulled back with his, and when the sword healed him, it healed her as well, and then affectively severed their bond! They are no longer marked as life mates! They are whole and in their completely natural states. Just astounding!"

Sesshoumaru reached out casually and snatched the demon lord by the collar as he paced passed him and hauled the tiger up to face him eye to eye. "Why did you not just explain you theory?" he growled lowly.

"You refused to hear talk of the lady." Masahiro answered honestly.

Sesshoumaru grit his teeth, his gaze still locked with Lord Masahiro's. "They are both traitors." He hissed between clenched teeth.

"You love her." Masahiro toned softly in an all knowing, fatherly voice. Gone from his voice was the excitement of the miracle. A stubborn, knowing looked filled his gaze as he steadily returned the gaze that was fully meant to be intimidating.

Sesshoumaru felt the swirl of emotions building within him from the moment her trusting hazel eyes had filled with life and lit upon him once more. He struggled to contain the explosion that threatened to rip through him as the Northern lord's words echoed through his mind. _"You love her."_ Not a question, but a firm accusation.

"M'lord, I have a proposition for you…" Lord Masahiro began, but Sesshoumaru did not hear him.

He sneered, letting out a growl as he gathered in his power, pushed the demon away from him, and vanished.

_**888888**_

Rin had insisted upon walking, so finally Lord Kazuo had put her on her feet and lead her to her rooms to rest. He had left her only after Lord Masahiro's healer had examined her in amazement and she had insisted that she was perfectly alright. Now she stood at her window looking out into the light of dawn. Her mind was numb and she felt nothing. She continued to replay the horrid night in the forest when she had thought Sesshoumaru had been killed. The glimpse of his slaughter played over and over in her mind's eye as she tried to remind herself that he was alive. But then another moment crept into her thoughts. Fevered kisses and hungry caresses captured her mind and she succumbed to them. She remembered them. She remembered every blissful moment she had been granted with him. Every savory kiss, every single breath, every heartbeat. She remembered it all and she sighed with relief as tears streamed down her cheeks. When Kane had marked her, she had known that something was amiss. These memories had been faded, almost as though they had been nothing more than nearly forgotten dreams from long ago. She had remembered, and yet she could not recall the memories. She let out a small gasp as a choked sob escaped her. Her heart ached with relief. At least she had her memories. Every detail. At least she had that much of her Sesshoumaru.

His cold golden eyes haunted her mind as she thought of how he had accused her of betrayal. Hurt and mistrust glared out at her as his gaze scorched her. She hadn't been able to utter so much as a whispered denial. He hated her for his belief in her betrayal. He hated her, she realized, because of the vulnerability he had displayed by trusting her enough to grant her selfish desires of the flesh. Surely he had found this way to tear her from deaths silent and final grip to punish her at his leisure.

"Rin…?" A small whiny voice from the door interrupted the torture of her thoughts and she turned, immediately recognizing it.

Master Jaken stood at the door staring in at her, his huge bug eyes glistening bright yellow with unshed tears.

"Master Jaken! You're alive!" Rin squealed and ran to the little toad scooping him up into an embrace and twirling with excitement. "He told me you were dead!" She cried as she hugged her long lost friend and tutor.

"Rin! I'm so pleased you're alive! Gah! I mean…let me down! Foolish girl! Agh! Put me down!" Jaken squawked. Rin dropped the squirming demon with a thunk and smiled wickedly down at him, touched at his almost happiness at seeing her, but he was again looking up at her, his face having become serious. He studied her for a moment, his watery bug eyes examining her face thoughtfully and then lowered his head suddenly, his hands diving into his robes in search of something. "Ah!" He pulled out a small satchel and handed it over to the curious young woman.

"Eh…for you." He placed the small satchel in her awaiting hands and as she brought it up to look at it, she caught the scent of sweet cherry blossoms. Slowly she opened it and smiled as she saw the delicate pinks and whites of the dried flower petals. The little toad looked down at his feet and Rin was sure he was blushing. "The Master destroyed all but this one. I kept the blossom as long as I could, but it…died, so I dried it and kept it…" He trailed off as a loud sniff interrupted him and Rin's heart jerked.

_Master Jaken mourned me?_

"Thank you Master Jaken." She said solemnly as her old friend looked up at her once more, his mask of annoyance firmly back in place, before heading for the door. "I suspect Lord Sesshoumaru will be needing a bath after that despicable tiger clawed at him and bled all over him! And he will no doubt be in a foul temper now that he has revived the vile creature. Agh! And just a day before his final marking ritual." The little toad kept on prattling as he scuttled off out the door and down the hall.

_The final mark!_ Rin was stunned. She had been under the impression that she and Kane were merely here to visit his Northern relatives and that more peace talks were occurring. But that was just one more thing Kane had lied about. It was clear now, that he had meant to use her against her lord.

_Married._ The thought settled heavily in her stomach as she headed to the bath house, eager to wash away the heavy scent of the lavender Kane had made her use to disguise her human scent. She sighed as she entered the steamy bath house. It was still very early in the morning so she would not have to wait her turn. Idly she sweetened the hot water with the delicate petals Master Jaken had given her and, discarding her robes, she sank into the warmth of the water and allowed its comfort to seep into her.

It was nearly an hour before she finally returned to her rooms and began to gather her few belongings with a new sense of determination. She had made a decision while soaking in the heat of the cleansing bath. She assumed that the treaty with the central region would be reinstated now that she was alive once more, but she would not marry Lord Kazuo. She felt certain that he was an honorable demon who would make an agreeable mate, but she had made her decision. She could not stay and watch Lord Sesshoumaru marry another and she could not ever, ever be mated to another demon. She would rather never have a mate than to lose even a moment of her memories of Lord Sesshoumaru again. And to consider a human mate would be cruel, for she could never love another. No, she was leaving and she was taking her precious memories with her. Her heart, she had gladly given to Sesshoumaru a long time ago, but her memories were hers once more. Tears began to well in her eyes and blur her vision as she thought of him hating her, thinking of her as a traitor. But, she could not go to him. It would be better to just leave.

"Where are you going?" A low voice asked softly from the shadows of the room. Startled, Rin whirled around to see her visitor knowing the voice as if it were her very own. Lord Sesshoumaru stepped from the shadows and stared emotionlessly down at her, waiting for her response.

He had somehow found himself in her rooms after leaving Lord Masahiro's study, but it had been empty when he had arrived. He had nearly fled from the room as soon as he realized that he could still escape seeing her again, but his aching heart and angry pride had refused to allow it. He wanted answers. So, he had sunk into the darkened corner of the room to await her return.

Rin raised her chin slightly as she met his gaze, a single tear sliding down her cheek. "Anywhere I want M'lord." She answered with the first stubborn response that popped into her mind, her heart in her throat.

_Has he come to kill me?_ She wondered as she took in the sight of him standing before her.

He stood tall, his usual masculine air about him, a pale silver God with golden eyes that would haunt her for the rest of her life. He stood in a white robe, loosely tied at his waist, his hair falling all around him. His feet were bare, and the pale skin of his well toned chest visible at the opening of the robe. She tried not to notice just how beautiful he was. She tried to remind herself that he now hated her. But, she couldn't help it. She yearned for him to love her, even just a little. She watched as his eyebrow rose at her defiant answer and suddenly something in her snapped and anger began to flood her. She felt a new rush of energy wash over her as she straightened her shoulders and stood her full height, her face rose proudly to his, her fiery green gaze locking with cool gold.

_How dare he even ask! What does it matter to him where I am going?_

She exploded.

"How dare you hate me! How dare you accuse me of treachery! I have given you my whole life! I have given you my unconditional love! I have held my head high as you prepared to trade me for a treaty and I even gave you my…my…" She began to blush as she recalled their steamy encounter in the hot spring. "I loved you!" She cried as she fought to control the shaking that had begun within her core.

He stood his ground, unmoved by her outburst. _She is defensive. A sign of guilt._ His logical mind concluded instantly. But his heart longed for her angry denial to be the truth. His heart longed to pull her into his arms and tell her he believed her, but his wounded pride combined with his shattered trust wouldn't allow it. _Fool! All of the events tell me she has betrayed me!_ He reminded himself.

"I loved you!" She cried again when he did not react. She knew he never outwardly showed his feelings, but some reaction, some small hint that he had any feelings at all would have made her feel a little better, but he stood there, as always, unmoving and uncaring.

Anger and hurt filled her and she couldn't contain it. She rushed at him, her fists clenched and ready to pound on his unfeeling heart. "Say something!" She screamed as she flung herself at him, but he caught her wrists before they ever met their mark. She expected to be flung across the room, but he pulled her against him instead and continued to hold her gaze, saying nothing. "I hate you." She whispered, and she hoped that she had put the venom in her voice and hatred in her heated gaze that she had wanted him to see and hear. Inwardly she gagged on the lie and wondered what had made her say it, but it was too late.

She stopped struggling and stared up into his eyes, her heart in her throat. _Surely he will kill me now_. He stared at her for what seemed like an excruciatingly long time and then lowered his face to hers, his warm lips achingly close to her own quivering mouth.

"You lie." He whispered, his breath a hot caress over her trembling lips.

She gasped at his response, her heart in her throat.

"I can smell a lie." He whispered over her soft lips. "You do not hate me."

He crushed his mouth to hers roughly, stifling her gasp of surprise.

Rin stiffened in shock and tried to struggle out of his grasp, but his grip was like solid stone. Surely he was being cruel now. Surely this was part of the torture he had planned for her punishment.

He pulled away from her and shoved her hard against the wall. "But you avoid an out right denial of your betrayal." He growled fiercely.

Hazel eyes flashed with anger. "Why should I deny anything, M'lord? You could _never_ be mistaken." She hissed sarcastically. _How could he think such a thing?_ Her heart cried.

His grip tightened on her arms as he leaned into her. The sweet scent of cherry blossoms intoxicated him and he had to fight to keep control of himself. He had forgotten the power she held over his senses.

"Tell me." He growled across the skin of her neck as he grazed the pale flesh with his fangs. "Did the two of you laugh about how you planned to deceive me?" He felt a shiver run through her and could detect her heartbeat increasing. Her breath caught at his either his words or at the sensation of his fangs at her throat, but either way he felt satisfaction at her fear. He pressed his body into hers and pushed a knee between her legs. "Did he take you often? The tigers are known to enjoy a little pain with their pleasure, did you learn to enjoy pain?" He hissed against her throat and then nicked the skin.

The scent of her fear spiked in the air and he suddenly found that he was sickened by it.

"Stop." She whispered as she struggled against him.

"Did you laugh together about that night in the forest? Shall I give you another reason to laugh?" He hissed as his mind forced the memory of their passion to the front of his thoughts. He licked her pulse as she quivered in his grasp.

"STOP!" She screamed and he could smell her tears now. He let her go and thrust himself away from her suddenly gasping for breath. He turned on her once more, this time, hurt and confusion overshadowing the anger.

"WHY?" He shouted at her. "WHY?"

She tried to close herself off from him. She tried to convince herself that if he could believe such a thing of her that he didn't deserve her love, but she couldn't. _Gods help me, I love him!_

The look in his eyes, so raw with pain, broke her heart. Tears streamed down her cheeks and her throat tightened as she instinctually reached out for him. "M'lord…"She choked. She took half a step and suddenly she was in his arms, not painfully or angrily, but tenderly. He buried his face in her hair and breathed in her sweet familiar scent as he held her, relishing the feel of her alive and in his embrace once more.

"Why…?" He whispered as he held her sobbing form.

"Never…" She sobbed brokenly. "I would never…" Her arms went around his neck and held him closer still and then his lips were hungrily tasting hers as though he were starved for her touch. In truth, he had been.

His kiss was her hope. She could taste his willingness to forgive in his tender touch and her heart gave joy.

When he finally broke the kiss they were both gasping, their hearts pounding. She looked up into his honey eyes and searched for some sign that he could believe her to be innocent. Forgiveness was just not enough. He had to believe her. He had to trust her. In his eyes she saw a storm of pain and desire and knew that he still had his doubts. Slowly she pulled away from him and backed away, her eyes never leaving his.

He held her gaze for only a moment longer before he vanished.


	18. Chapter 18

2/19/07

Disclaimer: I do not own or profit from Inuyasha. It is the creation of Rumiko Takahashi, and I thank her for the use of her lovely characters.

**A Quick Review:**

Rin has grown into a beautiful, intelligent, devoted, passionate young woman and has fallen in love with Lord Sesshoumaru, but she struggles against feelings of inadequacy concerning her humanity. Lord Sesshoumaru is the same powerful, stoic demon lord of the western lands that he has always been, though now the time has come to complete the peace treaties with the Northern territories; Treaties that require his marriage to the Northern Lord's daughter. But, something is wrong. He finds himself more and more distracted by his beautiful young ward and it disturbs him. He seeks out a mate for her that not only will get her out of his way, but which will also seal a treaty with the central trade routes. But, Sesshoumaru discovers that Rin already has a suitor who tries to mark her with the first Life Mate mark. This produces a problem when it comes to marrying Rin to another, but it is unclear as to whether Rin has actually been marked. Sesshoumaru decides that the surest way to test for the mark is to woo her.

One misunderstanding and miscommunication after another keeps the two from realizing their true feelings for one another until on the last night they will be together, as they travel to the central region for Rin's mating ceremony and then North to complete Sesshoumaru's ceremony, they abandon reality and make passionate love for the first and only time. It is later that same night that their camp is attacked by Troll Demons. Sesshoumaru concludes that Rin has been killed in the brutal attack after he wakes nearly two weeks later from the attack. He mourns her, his heart breaking, but he knows that he must complete his father's treaty which will combine the Western and Northern territories under his rule. Sesshoumaru heads North after a few months of healing from the Troll attacks and after completing the second marking ritual he is out in the gardens and discovers the tiger demon Kane's Life Mate. But she is revealed to be none other than Rin! Sesshoumaru is briefly overjoyed, but his jealous mind and logic turn the facts against her and he accuses her of betrayal.

Kane confronts Sesshoumaru at that moment and it is revealed that Kane is the evil master-mind behind years of treachery and foul play against Lord Sesshoumaru's family. A vicious battle ensues but Kane gets the upper hand and just as he is about to deal a deathly blow, Rin strikes him down with a dagger imbued with demon power, killing him. But, when one Life Mate dies, the other follows soon after. Rin dies almost immediately, happy that Sesshoumaru is still alright. Sesshoumaru is devastated once more and knows that this time she will not be coming back and even Tensaiga's powers are useless on a soul that has already been called back once.

Lord Masahiro, the Northern Lord, convinces Lord Sesshoumaru against his better judgment to revive Kane so that he may be punished and upon reviving the tiger demon with the healing sword, Rin is miraculously revived and healed, and the Life Mate marks dissolved.

We left off last time with Sesshoumaru confronting a fleeing Rin only hours before the final marking ritual. He is angry and hurt at her betrayal and lashes out cruelly, but she denies it and in a moment of despair and longing the two share a passionate kiss before they break apart, each still doubting the others true feelings and intentions, and each still hurt and heartbroken. Sesshoumaru leaves her standing in her rooms without saying another word…

_88888888_

**Chapter 18: Without You **

Rin ran through the corridors of the Northern palace as fast as her legs would carry her, and yet it felt as though she were moving outside of time. She felt as though she was running through a thick swirl of mist, all sense of reality lost as she ran, uncaring of the indecent robes fluttering around her or that her ebony hair was a damp tangle soaking the sheer fabric down her back. She didn't know what she was going to say when she found him, but her heart wasn't ready to let him go like this.

Rin burst into Sesshoumaru's rooms in a whirlwind of emotion. Lord Sesshoumaru was standing at the window, his back to her. Her heart skipped a beat at the sight of him standing so still, like some beautifully sculpted statue. He didn't turn to acknowledge her presence even when she snapped the screen shut behind her. She stood just at the door now, unable to advance any further. Suddenly she wished she had known what she was going to say to him, but words escaped her as she stared at the length of silver hair flowing down his body. His crisp woodland scent caught her senses as she struggled to catch her breath and slow her thundering heart. The familiar masculine scent caught her off guard and ribbons of desire began to curl around her stomach and lower in an all too familiar ache.

"Leave me." He commanded calmly, his voice low and detached.

His casual dismissal stabbed at her already wounded heart and suddenly, months of sorrow and longing culminated into an anger that she had never felt before. She was angry at him for believing her to be a traitor. Angry at him for believing this of her even after all that they had shared. Angry that he felt this way after she had spent her whole life worshipping him, never asking anything of him in return. She had loved him unconditionally and _she_ would not be betrayed in such a manner. She felt…wronged.

"I don't think so, M'lord." She said just as calmly, her voice just as detached.

That caught his attention.

Slowly he turned to face her now. His pale features betrayed none of the anger she knew he was suddenly radiating. Except for his eyes. To anyone else, the unrivaled ruler of the western lands stood here now indifferent, an ebony eyebrow raised slightly, unmoved by the blatant disobedience she had just shown him. But she knew him like no other ever had, could read him as no one else ever could. She could see the subtle drop of his chin, the slight furrow of his brow, a golden storm piercing her through dark lashes.

_Just breathe. _She told herself as she struggled to maintain his gaze and still hold onto even an ounce of calm.

"Why do you doubt my innocence?" She demanded, proud of the force in her voice.

His eyes narrowed minutely. "Because you are human."

Inwardly, her throat closed around the rising bile. She felt as though he struck her. Outwardly, she couldn't stop the subtle flutter of her eyelashes.

"All the easier for you to sense the truth in my words." She countered calmly even as the agony his words had caused worked its way through her being.

_Just a useless human. That's all I'll ever be..._

His reply came in a tone of icy indifference. "True. Humans are pathetic at hiding their emotions making them exceptionally easy to read. His eyes narrowed. "But they also have a tendency to convince themselves of their own deceits."

Something snapped in her mind and Rin couldn't help it. Her laughter was low and cynical. "Are you suggesting that I am lying…to myself?"

"You believe that your associations with the tiger were innocent." He did not quite sneer as he spoke, but Rin couldn't ignore the disgust wrapped around the word "associations."

Her laughter halted abruptly as she came to stand directly in front of him and fix him with an unwavering glare. Her heart was pounding against her ribcage and she fought to control the shiver of anger and fear that rippled across her skin from the tips of her toes to the follicles of her scalp.

"Shall I tell you about my _associations_ with the Master Kane, M'lord?" She moved slowly now, her voice low, a lump forming in her throat as she struggled to hold back tears. A thick grey cloud had settled firmly over her heart and she felt numb as she moved towards the demon lord who tortured her with every biting word.

"There were four demons ripping at you, tearing at you, drowning you…"

"Silence." He commanded shortly as he turned his back on her once more.

"NO!" She yelled. "You wanted to know…now you must listen!" He stood rigidly, his back to her still, but gave no other protest as she stalked closer to him continuing her tale.

"When they dragged me away, I knew you were weak from the troll poisons, I knew that you were dying. But there was nothing I could do…I…if only I had been stronger…if only I wasn't this weak…" She dragged in a heavy breath and shook her head.

_Stop it! Get a hold oh yourself! _She commanded herself and continued, her voice eerily hollow even to her own ears, but steady now as she let the memory invade her.

"I passed out. When I woke again, I was…alive," She choked on the word 'alive' as though it were the vilest curse she had ever uttered. "And I was Lord Kane's life mate. But, he wasn't the Master Kane I knew. He…he was different. He was insane. He told me you were dead and that I belonged to him now. Your death killed something in me and I wanted to…I tried to die, but _he_ wouldn't allow it. He said he still needed me alive. He didn't say what he needed from me and I couldn't imagine, but after a month of healing, he began his…visits. I thought _that _was what he needed me for. He tried to force himself on me several times, but…but he never followed through. I assumed he was impendent. Until the night he made me please him… in other ways."

Her eyes went dull and her voice went flat as she suddenly dropped to the floor in front of him and reached for his Hakama. "Shall I show you, M'lord? Perhaps that is all you think me good for as well?"

But as soon as she touched the fabric of his pants he growled, grabbing her by the upper arms and dragging her back to her feet.

Hopeless despair washed over her and she wailed brokenly as he pulled her to her feet, putting a stop to her self humiliation.

"Never…" He whispered fiercely, and threw her across the room.

_88888888_

Rin woke with a start, a sob breaking from her lips, tears soaking her face and her heart aching with a familiar sting.

_A dream. _

She had been dreaming of that night…that night she had last spoken to him…that night he had left her standing there so alone, disappearing from her life forever. She had wanted to go after him, but she hadn't been brave enough to face what she was sure her confrontation would have led to. He had obviously been disgusted by her weak display of emotion. She cringed as she recalled how she had forced herself on him, kissing him so desperately.

No, she hadn't gone after him. He would surely have cast her away. His hatred would have been like fire burning in his eyes, his disgust so evident in his words. She had been so sure of it, and she knew her heart wouldn't have been able to take such rejection. Not from him.

Rin swallowed the lump in her throat as she lay there now.

She hadn't thought of Lord Sesshoumaru for a long time. Many weeks. But now, in the dead of night, curled up on her sleeping pad and engulfed in the inky darkness of night, she let the memories come.

_She had fled that night after her confrontation with Lord Sesshoumaru furious, confused, but most of all she had been hurt. _

_She had stood, unmoving, for several moments after his departure, trying to decipher what had just transpired. _

'_How could he not see the way I feel? Surely he was able to detect the truth in my words?' _

_But she remembered too late that he would indeed have been able to sense the truth of her words…if she had spoken the truth. She had cringed as she had recalled the biting remarks rather than honest answers she had shot back at his questions._

_But, it didn't matter. He belonged to another. What good would have come from trying to convince him that she loved him or that she was tortured with the knowledge that he would never feel the same?_

_It had been the most difficult decision she had ever made, to let him go; to let the man she had loved her whole life turn away from her with doubt still in his eyes. _

_She had dressed quickly in black hakama and robes tied with a red sash, a pair of soft black shoes and a strap of leather to tie her hair back, all of which she had "borrowed' from Master Kane's wardrobe that was still in their chambers. She had also "borrowed" a long staff from Master Kane's trunk of weapons, one she had remembered once admiring from afar. The only other thing she took with her was the fragrant sachet of cherry blossom petals Master Jaken had given her, which she tucked safely away in her robes, and as she turned to leave she stopped and went back. The jade hilted dagger went into her obi at her waist and then she was gone. _

_She had slipped from the palace as the first rays of sun shone over the hills, and breaking into a run, she had not stopped until she reached the river. Gasping for breath and fearing being followed, she made her decision. She jumped into the river and turned south, following the current. She traveled that way for two days, before the river broke off into several streams. She continued southward for another day before she detected the first signs of a human village. But she never made it to the village on her own. Her body had long ago stopped shivering from the cold water and her feet and legs were numb. Her eye sight began to fade, as she thought with mild disgust about having to live amongst humans once more, and then there was only blackness._

_She had awoke several days later and had found herself in the care of the village lord, Koronoskae Takaeda. He had found her unconscious, had brought her back to his home, and had cared for her, nursing her back to health. _

Rin came out of the memory blinking into the darkness, but she was soon lost in other thoughts.

Over five cycles of the moon had passed since then. At first, she had missed Lord Sesshoumaru with every breath, had thought of him every moment, and had longed for him with every heartbeat. But time had inevitably passed and one night she had fallen into bed after spending the day with Lord Takaeda only to suddenly realize that she hadn't thought of Lord Sesshoumaru even once throughout the day. The guilt that washed over her was sickening, but her first reaction had been panic. Panic that she would forget him; panic that she could. Her rational mind had to remind her that she hadn't forgotten him and that she was at that very moment thinking of him.

She remembered the long agonizing months bound to Master Kane, and how she had wanted to die. Thinking Lord Sesshoumaru dead, she had lost her will to live. She had thought of him every moment then as well. But it had been different. Her memories had been clouded, those intimate memories so full of her love for him faded, and her feelings smothered under a thick haze. All she had known then was that she had despaired over his loss and the loss of those memories. But, being bound to Master Kane hadn't damped the heartbreak of Lord Sesshoumaru's death. She had wanted to forget what she couldn't quite remember, needed to forget. She had longed for the peace of eternal sleep.

But, now it was different. Knowing he was alive and well mended that part of her soul that had been lost when she had thought him dead. She no longer wished for death. She just wanted him to be happy now, and to cherish those newly restored memories of those few breathtaking moments with him. She had worried about him at first, heartbroken that he would be all alone, but each time her thoughts wandered to his loneliness, she was reminded of the new Lady of the West. He was not lonely. He did not need her anymore.

_He never needed me. _She reminded herself.

_Does he ever think of me? _

_Has he…forgotten me?_

Lord Takaeda emerged unbidden from the recesses of her thoughts and she smiled as she thought of him now. _He is so kind…and trusting_. By human standards, he was much older than her, 14 years older, but what did that matter to her when she was more accustomed to residing with a century old demon lord and a two century old Kappa. Lord Takaeda was practically her own age in comparison. He was also intelligent and charming, and very handsome. He laughed often, spoke to her of his hopes and dreams, and he was kind and fair to his people. He was so different from the humans she remembered from so long ago, from another lifetime it seemed.Over the months, she and Lord Takaeda had spent many a day together talking, or just being in each other's presence. Their friendship grew stronger with each and every meal they shared, every walk they took, every conversation they had.

It was one of those conversations in which Rin had learned that Lord Takaeda had been in love with a beautiful demon slayer and had been shocked to learn that the slayer was none other than one of Inuyasha's companions, Sango. Lord Takaeda had told her that she, herself, had reminded him of his Sango, his long lost and unrequited love, when he had first lain eyes on her in the forest in her black clothing and ponytail.

Rin hadn't admitted to Lord Takaeda that she knew of the slayer, for she didn't wish to discuss how she knew of Sango. She didn't wish to discuss Inuyasha, which would lead to discussion of Inuyasha's older brother. She didn't wish to discuss Lord Sesshoumaru, or her own heartache and unrequited love. Lord Takaeda had been more than willing to accept that she didn't remember much of her past after her illness, and hadn't pried.

It was another one of those conversations that had lead to the subject of marriage and it was on this very night that he had requested her hand in marriage. She felt a warm blush bloom on her cheeks as she recalled his proposal.

_The sun was just setting and the sky was a lovely painting of pinks and oranges. They stood on the small wooden bridge that arched over the charming little coy pond in the back of the large house. The water shimmered with light blues and silvers in the fading light and two fat orange and white coy swam in lazy circles just under the surface. _

"_Rin, I know that you are lost and alone in this world, but you were brought here to me. I have cared for you, have come to know you, and now I wish to share the rest of my life with you." _

_Her heart had leapt into her throat and her first reaction had been to pull away from him and run. She had felt the blush creep into her cheeks as she struggled to maintain control of her breath. She had been caught off guard by his offer. She didn't love him, and she knew that it wouldn't be fair to him to marry without love, but he didn't truly love her either, did he? Perhaps it was time to consider something other than love. Companionship?_

"_I am not the demon slayer you are in love with." She had spoken softly, unsure of her voice._

"_How can I love a dream? My Sango is nothing more than a beautiful dream to me now. But you are real, Rin. Marry me."_

Rin sighed into the darkness once more as she tried to calm her thundering heart, the memory fading.

_I'm getting married… _She tried saying it out loud, but she couldn't push the words from her diaphragm, _…to a human man. To someone who is not… _

An image of Lord Sesshoumaru flashed through her thoughts as she tried to force the declaration out. His golden eyes pierced her soul in her mind's eye. She hadn't given Lord Takaeda an answer yet.

_88888888_

The new Lord of the combined North and West stood looking down the slope of the grassy hill that met white sandy beach and contained the palace he had called home his whole life. The sound of the waves breaking on the sandy shore came to his ears and the cool sea breeze swirled around him as he stood there. Ah-Un's field was in full bloom, the bright yellow of the wild flowers shining cheerily in the summer sunlight and he was reminded of the happy young woman that once graced the fields. He shifted his gaze to the palace, willing the thought of her away. He was used to her invading his mind now though, and he was not happy about it, he was at least satisfied that he could conduct himself almost normally once more. He had come to terms with her being there, always in the back of his mind. He had always known she would eventually be gone from his life and that he would continue as before, but it was different knowing that she was still in the world. Just not his. Even married to Lord Kazuo she would still be in his neighboring region. He would at least still have been able to see her on occasion and ensure her protection throughout her life. Not knowing where she was or how she fared threatened to drive him mad.

_He had discovered her gone the evening the ceremony had been completed. He had gone in search of her, wishing to speak with her again. Wanting to correct the look of mistrust and confusion in her eyes. Wanting to erase the memory of her pushing him away. He had been determined, in fact, to make her forgive his foolishness. _

_In the instant she had whispered her innocent denial, even if it had only been a fragment of a statement, he had known that she would never have betrayed him. She had been a pawn in Kane's game of treachery, used to get under his skin. And it had worked. He had found himself jealous beyond all reason and had lashed out at her like a coward. In that single moment, when she had returned his kiss briefly only to then push him away, he had realized that it was he whom had betrayed her. The realization combined with the look of confusion and mistrust in her eyes shamed him to the core. He had done something he hadn't done in decades. He had fled._

_He had searched for her that evening, after the ceremony had been completed and after the treaty had been signed, fully intending to order her forgiveness. She had never disobeyed him. Surely she would not in this matter. And if that didn't work, he would ask her for it, he grudgingly told himself. And if she still refused he knew that for this, for her…he would beg._

_But he hadn't found her. He knew the moment he entered her rooms. The emptiness was overwhelming, the silence deafening. _

_She was gone._

_He had stood for a moment using all of his senses trying to detect her. He searched for even the slightest hint of her feminine fragrance, or the slightest hint of her subtle sound, and when he picked up the sweet scent of cherry blossoms and the salt of tears he headed out into the dimming light of dusk after her. He followed her trail through the forest for hours before coming to the river where it abruptly stopped. It had felt like a sharp gut wrenching punch to his gut when he realized that she had chosen to travel in the icy water. It sickened him to know that she didn't want o be followed._

'_Clever wench.' He had admitted, grudgingly impressed by her evasive tactics. He would have to choose which direction to search and hope that it was correct. And if his search resulted in nothing, he would have to go the other direction and hope that some sign of her trail was still evident once he reached the point where she exited the river._

_He stayed in the North and with Lord Kazuo's assistance, they had searched for her for weeks, both by land and by air only to come to a point from one direction where the river forked out in several different directions and where it bubbled into existence from an underground source from the other direction. Her trail had gone cold. She was well and truly gone._

_At first, he had worried over her, wondering if she had met some horrible fate at the teeth and claws of a vicious lesser demon. But no sign of her ever came about and he eventually resigned himself to the knowledge that she was somewhere in the world perhaps even having found some human village to live out the rest of her human existence. He found himself hoping time and time again that she was her happy self once more as the joy that once resided in her laughter and the love that encased the melodies of her song invaded his thoughts on a continual basis. _

_As time passed, he began to grow angry at the invading thoughts, as he found himself distracted time and time again. He was a formidable demon lord to be respected and feared by all. He was lord of the most extensive and most powerful territory of all the lands with access to the central trade routes that no other territory had. Such 'lovesickness' was a weakness that was beneath him. That was the end of it!_

_He had headed home after finalizing the transfer of the Northern lands from Lord Masahiro to himself and after several days of travel and a short stop in the central regions where he parted ways with Lord Kazuo, he had finally reached the edges of the enchanted forest that surrounded his homeland and had stopped to pay his respects to Bokosenou._

"_Ah! Young Lord Sesshoumaru! The winds bring me news of the completion of your father's treaty! You are to be congratulated!" The tree had boomed with joy. But the tree grew somber as he looked down at the emotionless demon._

"_The winds have also whispered of the Lady Rin, alive and mated." The tree looked around expectantly and then fixed his gaze on Sesshoumaru once more._

"_She was mated to Kane, but is no longer." Sesshoumaru stated simply._

"_Ah, I had hoped that perhaps…you and she…"_

"_No." Sesshoumaru denied the unfinished statement curtly. _

"_She is…gone. She may very well be dead." He had said, trying to sound indifferent, but he had felt the strange lump in his throat rising and threatening to choke him._

_The tree's gaze shifted slowly out over Sesshoumaru's head and he watched as the grey eyes clouded over as if lost in a dream. "No." The tree whispered, and then blinked and fixed the young demon with his gaze once more._

"_Why have you not brought her home?" The tree asked in a clipped tone._

"_I have never forced her to stay with me. She has always been free to leave and so she finally has." Sesshoumaru had answered back, a little annoyed at the tree's sudden anger. "It is for the best, Bokousenou. We have already had this discussion!"_

"_True, it is for the best, for that young woman would never have left your side even in death had you not forced her. If that is how you truly feel about her, if you still cannot see her worth, then you do not deserve her or the strength she gave you." The tree said coldly and with that, his eyes went dead and he was nothing but a tree once more._

"_What strength?" He demanded sharply, but the tree stayed silent._

_The demon tree had never been so disrespectful. It shocked Sesshoumaru and he was shamed once more at how after these past few weeks he had reverted to his stubborn, childish ways of locking away and denying his true feelings. No more. He would not disrespect Rin in such a manner. Had anyone else dared to treat her as foully has he had himself, he would have killed them without hesitating. But he was the one that had betrayed her. He had loved her and then betrayed her. The magnolia had been correct. He had fled from her rather than make her see his true feelings and he had driven her away._

He had contemplated the tree's words as he made his way through the forest. What strength did the demon magnolia speak of? Indeed, what strength had his father's human woman brought him? But even as he thought about it, other more subtle things came to mind. He thought of how the house servants had loved Rin as a child and respected her as a woman, never questioning her unspoken authority as lady of the house. He thought of how Jaken and Ah-Un loved her as a family member and how she had returned that love unquestioningly. He thought of how Lord Kazuo willingly and indeed proudly accepted her as his future life mate. He thought of how Masahiro had been completely taken with her, even when she was known only as his nephew's mate. How could everyone, lesser and greater demon alike, love her but him?

The answer to that question came to him immediately and without hesitation. He did love her.

But what strength had she ever given him?

His dreams came to him unbidden as he searched his reasoning for answers. Dreams that he had been having for so many years now. Dreams that meant nothing to him…and suddenly everything.

FLASH

"Do not do this!" his mother's voice sobbed from somewhere far away, begging his father. "Look at what it has done to us! Look at what it has done to you!"

"There is no other way!" his father responded gruffly. "It is already decided."

_His future had been taken from him. He had never been given a choice. Never been given a chance to prove his worth on his own. _

_He was Worthless._

FLASH

His closest friend stood before him sobbing brokenheartedly, her face in her hands. He had wanted to ease her troubled heart, but he had no clue how to go about it. He took her hands from her face and squeezed them lightly as tears flowed freely down her face. Taking a deep breath, she looked at him with bright hazel eyes that glowed with brilliant green flecks and nodded.

_She hadn't been given a choice. She would never have the chance to want, and be wanted, love and be loved. He would watch the light in her eyes grow dim as she let him mark her and he had felt a sense of wrongness. And he felt guilty. _

_He was Guilty._

FLASH

His father was dead! He had been killed in the battle that had merely put his enemy, Ryuukotsusei, in a dormant state. His mother had died many years before that, and now he was truly alone in the world. The all consuming desire for vengeance flooded his heart. It was in every breath he took. He would need strength. He would need power.

_He was alone in this world now. The only way to protect himself was to detach himself, to not care anymore. _

_He was Hurt._

FLASH

It had been over a century since his father's demise and he had inherited all of his father's estates, territories, and the title 'Lord of the Western Lands." His pathetic half brother had somehow managed to succeed in killing Ryuukotsusei. The panther demon tribes were no longer enemies though they were still not allies. He no longer felt the hatred he had so long ago. He no longer felt anything. All he wanted was to expand his territories and to become a power such that none would ever dare to challenge. All who would oppose him would die!

_He had become cold and uncaring. Cold blooded, and merciless._

_He was Heartless._

FLASH

He gave one last powerful blow with his mighty sword Toukijin, and the bothersome half demon Naraku, who had tried to manipulate him, died with a pitiful wail.

"NNNOOOooo!"

Hundreds of smaller demons suddenly began to form from the toxic miasma that had been Naraku. He merely turned and began to walk away.

"I leave the rest to Tetsusaiga." He said to his half brother who looked on with his usual stupid look of astonishment on his face. He could hear his half brother's war cry as he walked deeper into the forest, and then felt the awesome power of the great fang in the air.

"WINDSCAR!"

_He had expected satisfaction when the pathetic half demon died, but he had felt nothing. The emptiness was still there. He was still lost. Still empty._

_He was Incomplete._

FLASH

_Laughter!_ He remembered that.

_Companionship!_ He remembered that.

_Friendship, devotion, innocence, joy, curiosity, fascination, imagination! _He suddenly remembered all these things. They all flooded back into his heart through a pair of dazzling hazel eyes.

_Love…?_

Rin had brought all of this back into his life, but with it she had brought so much more. She had adored him for no other reason then that he was him. She had given him a purpose in life. She had made him feel worth something for the first time in his life. He had never forced her to stay with him. He had always let her choose. And she had stayed with him of her own free will. She had left all she had known and stayed with him. She had stayed by his side and had filled the whole where the ache of loneliness had been and it didn't hurt so much anymore. With her, he had discovered that he wasn't as cold and heartless as he had convinced himself he was. With her by his side he had felt a sense of completion. With her, he had finally been home.

All of this. She had given him all of this. If this wasn't strength, then he would never know such a thing.

Now, as Sesshoumaru stood looking out over the ancient palace of his ancestors that sat at the western most tip of where the lands met the sea, his birthplace and the place that had been his home for over a century, he knew that it would never truly be _home_ again. Not without her by his side.

_Love…?_

"Come, Jaken. We are going." He commanded and turned, melting into the forest, his baffled retainer sputtering and trailing after him.

_88888888_

Thanks to everyone for reading. I've already got a rough draft of the last chapter. Started, so hopefully it won't take me so long to get it posted. Please leave me a quick review and let me know what you thought.


	19. Chapter 19

**2/3/08**

Hello my readers. So it has been a full year now since my last post and I had promised you that I was going to post the final chapter. Well….after much writing, re-writing, re-writing, and then re-writing some more, my muse kicked into high gear. What this all means to you is that, well, this is not the final chapter. Oiy! So I have 5 and a half pages of the next chapter and my beta reader hounding me to finish, so I can't make you any promises about timeframe, but I assure you that the ending has always been planned. I will have it to you…soon…someday…hopefully sooner rather than later.

Thank you all so much for your support, your e-mails and messages of encouragement. You have all been so wonderful and I can't thank you enough for hanging in there with me during the long wait.

Now, if you do not remember where we are, go back and read the last chapter. :) There is also a summary of the whole story up to that point at the beginning of the previous chapter.

**Chapter 19: Moving On**

The fall festival had been wonderful. The colors, the crafts, the food, the music, and the friendly cheer had been overwhelming and a sense of belonging swept over Rin as she weaved through the mingling crowd.

Rin thought about her life among the villagers as she strolled along. Lost in thought, she heard her name called out every now and again and smiling, she would wave an idle greeting to her friends in return.

She sighed in mild satisfaction as she continued on through the merry crowd, thinking of how she had come to be a part of this village; how she had come to be accepted and even appreciated.

It had been four cycles of the moon now, months as the villagers would say, since Lord Takaeda had proposed marriage to her. After thinking on it for several restless nights she had finally requested that he allow her some time to decide on her answer. She wanted time to live on her own, _be_ on her own, and come to terms with her new life. Somewhere deep inside of her, Rin knew that at that time, even after months among these humans, she still had not belonged. She had still been an outsider; still a drifter; still alone and helpless. But most of all, she was still a useless mortal human.

The past few months with these humans and with Lord Takaeda had given her the opportunity to observe them and to ponder their day to day behaviors. Behaviors which, to her, seemed strange compared to what her mind had resolved to be human behaviors.

They seemed content to be who they were. They worked tirelessly and endured all types of hardships and yet they seemed to always find a way to smile; a reason to be happy. They laughed with one another. They fell in love. They celebrated. They cried with one another. They mourned the loss of their loved ones. Indeed, she found herself perplexed by them.

Rin could remember only flashes of her life before she had died.

_Her human parents and brothers had been killed; murdered by bandits. She had been alone and traumatized after that; frightened to trust; frightened to even speak to anyone. And as she tried to live out her days without starving or freezing to death, she found the villagers to be harsh and unforgiving of her taking what she needed to survive after no one would give it willingly. She was useless to these people as the mere child that she was; always in the way and never wanted. Never needed._

_She had eventually lost her very will to live, only going through the motions really and waiting; waiting for her death. Waiting for the day she could join the family who had shown her love once, so long ago._

_And then she had found Him. _

Rin blinked as she denied that part of her mind that was bringing up memories she did not wish to think of right now.

_No, I have a new life now. _She told herself firmly. And as she continued on her way, she let her mind wander to her life in the village once more.

_It had been night fall when the commotion had begun. Several villagers hurried through the small thatch roofed buildings to the Lord's palace, the crumpled form of a young girl supported on a makeshift cot between them. _

_She had been attacked by bandits, brutally beaten and possibly violated in other unsavory ways, and now she lay near death._

_Rin had been sick to her stomach at the thought of such brutality. The thought of such atrocities frightened her and she cringed inwardly. Other memories washed over her as she flinched into the shadows and out of sight. She remembered the darkened figures of horrifying creatures that came out of the night to tear at her as she fought. As she watched them rip Him apart. _

_No! Not any more! I am not weak. I am not helpless. _She had screamed inwardly at herself.

_Firmly she had pushed the fear away in that moment. It had no use. _

_A moment later she had leapt to her feet and hurriedly followed the panicked villagers into the palace. _

_She remembered the girl's skin, so pale that it was almost blue. Her face and arms were bruised deep purples and sickly yellows, and gashes seeped with blood from open wounds on her cheek, neck, and from somewhere under the torn robes that hung loosely around her. Her eyes were blackened and swollen shut, and her breathing was shallow and labored._

_Rin had left the palace, gathered the water, herbs, and cloth she would need, and had headed back to the palace before she realized what she was even doing. She had learned from her tutors so many years ago how to clean and bandage wounds. And also from those many years under a tutor's guidance, she knew the herbs that she needed to help the girl recover, help fight infection, and ease her pain._

_Rumi, as the girl's parents called her, was no more than 14 years old, and her parents stood shivering and sobbing in the corner of the room, frightened of the death hovering around their young daughter's form. They had reluctantly allowed Rin to tend to the girl as the village had no healer to speak of and the trip to the next village was too long. The girl would be dead before they reached it._

_It was then that Rin had met Haru, Rumi's older sister. _

_Haru had hovered over Rin, watching her every move, studying her every breath. She wordlessly assisted Rin as she worked, never asking questions. Rin and Haru stayed with the girl all night, Haru having ushered her parents home to rest. The worried parents had left only after Haru had promised that she would stay and that Rin would stay as well. _

_As dawn's sunlight had broken over the horizon and through the window, Rin and Haru were awoken to the girl's weakened groans. Rin watched in tear filled joy as the girl slowly opened her swollen eyes and complained of being hungry while Haru sobbed in relief over her sister._

_It had been that incident that had lead to her tending to others. Not all nearly as serious, yet suddenly she found herself the village healer. The people were thrilled to discover her talent and soon she had been offered the vacant home at the edge of town. It had been perfect. She had been able to plant a garden with plenty of different herbs, spices, and vegetables, and she had swiftly found herself comfortably situated in the cozy little home, decorated with dried flowers and objects given to her as payment._

_She had tended to illness, injuries, ailments, and had even been midwife to a woman who gave birth to twins. Through it all she had also taken an apprentice. Her now closest friend, Haru, proved to be diligent and hardworking as well as eager to learn. Haru, indeed seemed to be quite passionate about the art of healing._

_Suddenly, she had a home. She was accepted, even liked. She had friends and a purpose. And the Lord of the village would be expecting an answer to his proposal soon. _

Rin sighed as she thought of the friendly Lord. He had been so patient with her.

She had accomplished what she had wanted to, and she no longer felt tormented by being the human that she was. She was proud now. She felt stronger and more confident now. Not physically, for she had always been strong and capable. But she now she understood that she had needed to heal so much more emotionally. Not only heal, but to come to terms with her very humanity. And she felt that she had.

_But, there is still something missing. _

Rin frowned and clenched her teeth in frustration at the familiar haunting feeling that she could never quite explain. She could feel the void like a great bottomless hole in her very soul, and through her struggles she could never fill it.

Lord Takaeda came to mind once more as she pondered her sorrow.

_Perhaps it is time to answer him. _She told herself for the hundredth time as she continued to weave through the meandering celebrators toward the village square.

Now, as the sun sank slowly below the horizon and the festival activities neared their end, the children were all ushered off to their sleeping pads, and Rin found herself following as the villagers lazily gathered around the warm glow of the bonfire in the square.

Lord Takaeda found her easily in the crowd and was by her side in mere moments. Rin's heart warmed at his gentle smile.

He took Rin's hand without a word and guided her to a comfortable spot at the fire's edge, but he did not sit. Instead he raised his hands and the crowd around the fire quieted, all giving their lord their undivided attention. Their faces shone with eager anticipation as they looked admiringly up at him. Rin furrowed a brow as she watched him, her curiosity peeked at this new activity. He began to speak, his voice deep and soft.

"There is a tale of an ancient ritual practiced with such grace and passion that those who have seen it swear that the only comparison would be that of the most intimate love making."

Rin began to blush at the subject of the Lord's story, averting her eyes from him as she listened.

"But this ritual, this dance, is not practiced by humans. Nay, it is a demon ritual that makes our romantic human hearts cry out with a longing for such a powerful moment. Demons, in all of their cold disdain for the world. Demons with all of their lust for blood and power."

He paused and there was nothing to be heard except the crackling of the fire. When he began to speak once more, his voice was even deeper and as Rin looked up at him again, his eyes met hers and held them.

_He pursues his heart's desire_

_Alone and barred before her eyes_

_Some secret glimpse of skin_

_A display of unveiled lust _

_Meant for her and her alone_

_Her breath catches_

_Her life-beat stops_

_He is pure beauty in her mind's eye_

_Her heart now knows desire._

_Enticement with Flesh is done._

_The dance begins, their bodies move._

_She drowns in deep fathoms_

_His eyes hold endless need._

_She fights him still, even as her longing grows_

_Their bodies glisten_

_Their scent mingles_

_Now strained with effort and still she fights_

_To hold onto herself, to prove him wrong_

_But it is no use, he is her heart's desire_

_He has won her favor_

_Power and Strength is done._

_Their breath is mingled, hot against soft lips_

_Their hearts beat as one_

_He has her in his grasp_

_His powerful body holds her true_

_Her own is still, unmoving_

_And yet she yearns_

_His eyes are like fire as they pierce her soul_

_But she does not look away_

_She aches for him and he for her._

_He is the one._

_Submission and Acceptance is done. _

His eyes had never left hers as he toned the passionate verses. Something deep in the folds of her memory was screaming as she soaked in the tale and her heart beat wildly as she began to loose herself in his eyes. But it was not the soft brown of his eyes that she saw.

In her mind's eye she saw misty morning sunlight gleaming down on the upper body of pale skin and perfectly sculpted muscles. She saw a challenge gleaming in angry golden eyes. She felt his demand for her to yield the battle that she had tried so hard to win. But she hadn't understood then.

She didn't understand now.

She blinked. And when Lord Takaeda's brown eyes came into focus once more her breath caught. For in them she saw a glimmer of understanding.

_He knows! _

_What will he say now? Will he still want me? _

Her heart was in her throat as she held Lord Takaeda's gaze. Slowly the villagers began their lazy and contented retreat to their huts, the story now finished and soon Rin was left alone with the handsome Lord who was offering her this beautiful life. She felt it coming, knew he was hoping for an answer to his proposal tonight. But as she held his warm gaze, full of longing and adoration, she felt unsettled.

"Rin." His voice washed over her, but the power she knew that a voice could hold over her was not there.

"You looked so far away. What were you thinking about as you listened to the story?"

"I…" She stumbled over her words and tried again as she lowered her eyes.

_This is it. You knew eventually you would have to tell him the truth_. She reminded herself as she tried to calm her anxiety.

Slowly, Rin raised her eyes once more to his.

"I was thinking of the past, M'lord."

He nodded but said nothing, his eyes steady upon her face, waiting for her to continue. In that moment, she knew that he hadn't believed her when she had told him she didn't remember her past. He had just been waiting for when she was ready.

"You told me once about a woman you loved. Sango. You told me that she was just a dream for you." She took a single breath, filling her lungs, allowing herself one final moment to gather her courage. She watched as the blacks of his eyes grew larger and he seemed to look past her now. He was looking at her, but he did not see her.

"There is someone…a dream for me, like Sango for you. But, there are so many questions I have. So many answers I still need," she dropped her eyes, hesitating, "before I can accept your proposal."

"M'lord, I am leaving. I have to…" But, he interrupted her, a whispered response coming from him, his eyes now turned to the burning embers of the fire.

"Then go. Chase your dream. But promise me you will return to me once you have your answers."

Rin's heart warmed to him a little more, and she was about to make that promise when he whispered again.

"Promise me my Sango. I will wait for you. I will wait forever."

_Sango._ He had called her Sango.

_Does no one want me? Just me, because I am…me?_

Slowly she turned away, leaving him standing there, staring into the firelight.

It was time.

She had healed here in this village. She had accepted her humanity. She had become independent and even useful. Now, it was time to go after the answers her heart was aching for from; Even if it meant facing Lord Sesshoumaru's hatred and mistrust. She had thought that she would be able to leave her past behind her, but Lord Takaeda's story had triggered something in her. She had to know.

If and when she returned to this village, she would be ready to accept Lord Takaeda. Maybe one day they would even grow to love one another.

*********

Sesshoumaru returned to the palace after many weeks surveying his lands. He had come and gone several times now, never staying for long, preferring to be away; away from the disturbingly empty rooms. But even his patrols could no longer distract him. The cold had chilled him to the bone and the sound of the quiet haunted him.

Now in the darkness of him rooms, Sesshoumaru slipped into a fitful sleep. He could feel the dream as it made its way into his mind's eye, but there was nothing he could do to stop it.

It was the same every time.

She came to him in the darkened night without a sound, sometimes wrapped in a delicate silk, and sometimes gloriously nude. Her hair cascaded down around her in shimmering ebony sheets on some occasions, and on others it would be pulled up with flowers adorning the silky strands. Always, her skin glowed a golden cream and her eyes glimmered like hazel green gems. Each time, he felt his blood catch fire at the sight of her even as he fought to maintain control.

But every dream ended the same. She was always just out of his reach and his soul was consumed with the fire in his veins that was never quenched. The pain was always unbearable. It seared him, white hot in the depths of his heart. He would wake in the pitch black of night, trembling and sweating, and each time it angered him more. And each time he would remind himself that he was TaiYoukai. He would insist to himself that he would not be ruled by this unrequited feeling.

This time the midnight darkness was heavy and impenetrable.

_Rather than taking in her eyes or hair, her robes or pale skin, he smelled her first. Sweet, and feminine. Cherry blossoms and something more, something completely her own. Something completely Rin. His heartbeat began to strengthen and become more amplified and he felt the first rush of annoyance with himself. _

_He concentrated on keeping his breathing slow and even as he sensed her, felt her move into his rooms. As always, she made no sound, but it never made a difference. He always knew right where she was. He took slow measured breaths as she slowly approached his bedside and he realized that he was hearing her heat beat, not his own. _

_Something in him sparked. He was tired of being her captive. Tired of succumbing to her fiery seduction. Tired of waking alone and defeated._

_He reached out and snatched her wrist and yanked her to his chest as he sat up. She gasped and went still, but said nothing. He had her. Finally, he had her. He would be alright. This time he would take her. This time…yes, this time he would finally be able to conquer this desire and maybe, just maybe, finally forget her._

_He pushed her forcefully to her back on his bed and ripped her robes open. She gasped again, and he knew that her hazel green eyes searched the darkness for his face. Yes, let her see he begged the darkness. He wanted her to know that he was defeated no more. This phantom vixen would yield to him, and he would be master once more._

_Even with eyes sharp in darkness, the sight of her pale skin and perfect breasts was shaded and he felt a longing like he had never known to be able to see her clearly. But it would never be and the longing angered him even more. _

_He grabbed her wrists, raising then above her head holding then with one strong hand, and forced a knee between her legs. He lowered himself onto her, gripping his stiffened shaft in his free hand and balancing his weight on his other arm above her, her hands pinned. _

"_I will be defeated no more." He growled to himself, determined to succeed this time._

_He positioned his sensitive tip at her warm apex and thrust forcefully into her. She gasped again, a hitch in her breath and with his next forceful thrust she let out a strangled cry of pain. _

_Briefly he wondered at her virginity, but it was unimportant. _

_She was tight and not ready for him, but it mattered not. _

_He pounded ruthlessly into her, fisting a supple breast as he reveled in the satisfaction of her defeat. When she cried out again, he could smell salty tears as they streamed down her face into her hair and he wondered if her hazel green eyes still sought him out in the darkness as he sought her. _

_He thrust into her hard and felt her flinch as he had expected, as he had been waiting for, but with that small outward display of pain, triumph did not come as expected._

_In that moment, he knew he was defeated once more. _

_His soul caught fire in that immeasurable moment. He abruptly halted his assault and stilled within her, letting go of her wrists, and slowly shifted so that her body cradled him. He lowered himself to his elbows as his gaze swept the darkness searching for her face, her hair, her perfect mouth, her eyes, all of which he could see so clearly in his mind's eye. He could smell the salt of her tears mingled with the sweet scent of her virgin blood and he felt his heart clench painfully. _

_He would never be free of her; could never be free of her._

_Slowly, he felt her arms move down to his shoulders, and when she touched him, it was all he could do to keep from flinching. Her touch seared him to the bone. Slowly, he began to move within her once more, this time wanting only to hear her cries filled with pleasure, longing to see passion in her eyes, and smell the sweet scent of her need. Pleasure given by him. Passion filled eyes looking upon only him. A longing for him and no other. Ever. _

_He buried his nose in her waves of dark rich hair as he felt her body begin to move with him, her smooth slender legs bending at the knee and gripping his waist. _

_It happened suddenly. There was no slow build up. It was a sudden flood within him, taking hold, gripping him, strangling him. _

_He lost control. _

_Savagely he threw his head back and growled as his whole body stiffened and he spilled his essence deep within her._

_He collapsed to the side of her, exhausted and unsatisfied, his pounding heartbeat mingled with hers._

_He found himself even more troubled as the phantom of his dreams faded away, the scent of her skin and the sound of her heartbeat lingering long after all else had faded. _

*********

Rin groaned and stretched as she woke grudgingly from her slumber. She was tired, confused, and so sore. Slowly, she opened her eyes to the light that streamed in from the window and blinked, her heart leaping into her throat as she saw the tall figure standing in the stream of sunlight.

_She had come back for answers. She had traveled several days and had finally arrived late in the night and had only meant to sneak in to sit in her rooms and wait until morning to make her presence known, but as she approached the hall that lead __to Lord Sesshoumaru's__ rooms she had remembered his new bride__. The thought tore at her and in that moment she found herself being carried to his door as though she had no control of her own legs. _

_With anticipation that bordered on terror, she slid the door open, wanting to see for herself that he truly had a wife now, afraid of the reality the sight would bring, and yet drawn to the sight that would open the wounds in her heart once more. But, as she approached, the darkness cloaked Lord Sesshoumaru and his bride. It was at the moment of this frustrated realization that his arm had quite suddenly shot out and locked her in a crushing grip. _

Now this morning, in the sunlight streaming through the window, Lord Sesshoumaru stood straight and tall, his silver hair flowing down around him. His arms were crossed inside his white robes, the sleeves coming together to hang down in front of him. His golden eyes stared down at her. To anyone else, he would look completely indifferent, but she knew this look even as unpracticed as she was after so long.

_He is angry_.

"Good morning Sesshoumaru-sama." She said, trying not to sound nervous.

He stared at her, unblinking.

She narrowed her eyes at him, and moved to get out of the bed, but stopped. Her robes were in tatters and there was no hope of covering herself decently, and the sting of pain that shot through her as she shifted was surprising. She felt the soreness between her legs and the reminder that she had given in so easily brought heat to her cheeks. She grasped the embarrassment and turned it. Molded it into an emotion she could use in this moment. Anger simmered where the embarrassment had been.

I did not come to him to be used in such a fashion. I am here for answers!

_How dare he be angry after what he did last night! He is mated, and yet he would use me so! _Her thoughts shouted haughtily at her.

"You look angry." She stated, and watched for any sign of a reaction. Any shift she could gauge him by. It was subtle, but it was there.

His eyes went even colder.

She knew she was asking for her very death by goading him, but she could feel her own anger bubbling up in her chest as she stared up at him and she couldn't back down. "You weren't so angry last night." She sneered at him. The sarcasm sounded so unnatural coming from her own lips, and yet she was so hurt by his anger. She wanted to provoke him.

He blinked.

Shame washed over her in an instant at her behavior, and she couldn't stifle it. She lowered her eyes.

She was so confused.

His deep, quiet voice abruptly interrupted her thoughts.

"I believed myself to be dreaming last night."

She shivered uncontrollably at the sound of his voice.

_Yes, there is the voice _ Shivers rippled down her spine, and she lost herself for a moment to its depths.

This was the voice that had such power over her_._ It had been so long since she had heard its deep baritones.

_Nothing like Lord Takaeda's._

"I would not have taken such liberties with you had I been aware." He said plainly, breaking her revere.

She knew it was meant as an apology of sorts, and she tried to appreciate that he was making the effort, but her confusion would not allow her to accept the apology. Her mind reeled with questions.

_He thought he had been dreaming? Does he truly dream of me in such a way?_ _And where is his new wife? _

Her confusion only grew as her logical mind tried to reason out what had happened, when she knew it to be an impossibility.

_Why was he able to take me when he is mated? The Binding mark should have repelled the very thought from him. _

The questions she had come for came flooding to the forefront of her mind.

She had left the village she had somehow come to be accepted in. She had left a decent and caring man who had offered to share his life with her. She had left her human life in order to seek answers, and she would not go back until she had them.

Rin took a single breath and looked up to meet his even gaze.

"That day in the practice yard…was that? What was…?" She couldn't get the question out.

"It is called the Sparring Dance." Sesshoumaru answered softly. He had not moved from where he stood, arms still folded over his chest. Glistening silver and cold in the sunlight.

"I did not know it was a ritual at the time." Rin protested helplessly but caught herself abruptly. Her ignorance _then _did not matter _now_.

"Sesshoumaru-sama," she paused, swallowing her nerves.

"Why did you challenge me that day when…" she paused and swallowed, trying not to choke on the bitter jealousy that would always be there, and then continued. "…when you were already engaged to another?"

He blinked.

As the words tumbled out, it became easier to continue.

"Why did you kiss me that day in the clouds above the forest?"

He blinked again, his face unreadable. Her heart began to pound as she wondered if he would even answer, but at the thought, something deep inside snapped, her agitation lacing her words.

"Surely you remember, Sesshoumaru-sama." She accused a little more forcefully.

Golden eyes darkened to a deep shade of amber, but she could not tell if it was because of her tone, or the memory her words brought.

"Why did you get so angry when you thought I was involved with another? What did it matter when you would not claim me? When you planned to give me to someone else? When you used me as a bargaining trinket?"

He turned his back on her and looked out the window, all silver and silent. Still no answers came.

"Why did you make love to me that night?" Her voice caught as she struggled to keep the tears from coming. She was trembling now and she clutched the sheets tighter to her.

His head turned slightly and she knew that he had caught the subtle hitch in her voice. Silently she cursed him for being able to hear her heart break.

"That night…That night in the Northern Palace, before you were to give the third mark and take your Life Mate…after Tensaiga healed me…why did you kiss me then?" Her heart was twisting in anguish as she fought to keep control. And still his back was turned to her, his silence still the only reply.

Visions of golden orbs, flashes of lightning in guarded eyes flickered across her memory as she stared, unseeing, at his sliver hair cascading down his form.

"I saw it in your eyes that night." She let the small sob escape her.

"Why did you kiss me when you did not even…trust…" She shuddered as she took a sorrowfully hitched breath.

"How could you not trust me then?" She whispered, remembering the doubt in his eyes.

"Enough!" Sesshoumaru barked harshly and then spun around in a whirl of white robes and silver hair and smoothly picked her up from the bed, still wrapped in his crimson sheets. She could feel the hum of his power around them before they abruptly appeared in the forest just beyond the place.

*****

It had taken mere moments to appear in the forest, a blink of an eye really. But in that brief time, Sesshoumaru could see all of those stolen moments flashing before his eyes. He could feel all over again the devastating affect each and every one of them had had on him.

"Sesshoumaru-sama! What…what are you doing?" Rin's voice interrupted his thoughts, wavering as she looked around, clutching the thin cloth close to her shivering body.

When she looked up into his golden gaze, he heard her breath catch.

He paused as he caught her hazel green gaze ensuring that he had her attention. "I trust you now." He said simply, and headed into the clearing.

She blinked in shock and obvious confusion at his simple statement and he watched as her frustration played across her features, knowing that his lack of response was beginning to infuriate her.

She began to kick, her legs flailing and the sheets flapping up into his face. "Sesshoumaru-sama! I demand you answer my questions! You owe me answers! And where is your new bride? Answer me!"

He tightened his grip slightly against her squirming as he continued down the path. He would not dignify her insulting questions with an answer, though her uncharacteristic outburst of anger amused him. Wasn't it obvious after all? Hadn't it always been obvious? He was under the assumption that _he_ had been the only one blind enough to not see that he was in love with her.

In the distance, he could hear Jaken's familiar caterwaul through the forest.

"Lord Sesshoumaru! Where are you going? M'Loooooord!"

Rin had only a moment to register that they were at the edge of Boukosenou's clearing when the ancient magnolia's voice reverberated through the clearing.

"Lord Sesshoumaru! How delightful! You've brought young Rin!" Boukosenou's voice rumbled boisterously.

"But she seems rather annoyed with…"

Sesshoumaru cut the elderly tree off abruptly, dropping the squirming Rin at the tree's roots.

"Great Magnolia, Bokousenou, oldest adopted relation to Lady Rin, I demand your approval to take the lady as my life mate." Sesshoumaru's voice hissed cold and annoyed.

_This is ridiculous. _ He grumbled inwardly. He did not like asking for things.

The tree looked at him in astonishment and then began to boom with laughter!

"My boy! I wish that I could give you such permission, but I am not the oldest _male _relation. I am a demon, but I am also but a tree. I am both genders and neither. You will have to ask permission from her oldest male relation."

Sesshoumaru visibly frowned at this. "Then who…?"

He stopped abruptly and followed the tree's gaze and groaned inwardly. This was going to be the most humiliating experience of his existence.

Jaken came tumbling into the clearing gasping for air and looking around wildly.

*****

So, did you follow that?

Time has passed while our lovers have been parted

Rin has done some soul searching and realized that being human isn't horrible despite what she misunderstood as a child and her misconceptions after growing up with demons like the pompous Jaken and the non-conversational type, Sesshoumaru. She has also become a strong, independent woman and has established herself nicely in her human village, though she still feels an emptiness.

The little story Takaeda tells is about the Sparring Dance. Remember Sesshoumaru using the dance to "test" Rin for the marks? He had been so cocky and confident that he was certain that if she wasn't marked that she would respond to his seduction, thus proving she wasn't marked. This tale reminds Rin of the encounter and she realizes that there was something more going on that she hadn't understood at the time. Remember, Rin didn't know about this demon ritual. Jaken was careless in training Rin in demon rituals since she is human.

Sesshoumaru has come to terms with his feelings for Rin and yet he is tormented by dreams of her. His desire for her tortures him. Every dream is the same…until this one. He finally catches her in this dream, and attempts to conquer her, but even this time, he is the one that is defeated. He loves her too much and longs for her too much.

But surprise!!! When he wakes up she is there, in the flesh! Obviously this frustrates him because of his harsh treatment of her the night before.

Rin has left the village, fueled by her new understanding of the Sparring Dance and its meaning, she wants answers!! So, she leaves and goes home. Home to the palace and to Sesshoumaru, where she finds him sleeping..alone. But where is his new bride? And what about the answers she is looking for?

Sesshoumaru is annoyed by her questions as he has now come to terms with being in love with her and also being the last to know he was in love with her, so now he feels that the answer to all of these questions is obvious. "Because he loves her."

Now we are left wondering why Sesshoumaru is asking to take Rin as his Life Mate. How is this possible? We have already established that the treaty has been completed, so what's up with the whole wife thing?


	20. Chapter 20

**4/20/09**

Hello my friends. It has been a long, long time in coming, but as I promised, here it is. The finale of "One Life". I hope you have enjoyed the adventure as much as I enjoyed writing it. This story and all of its readers will always hold a special place in my heart.

I am on to a new fanfiction now. A modern day romantic comedy featuring our icy demon lord and spirited young Rin. Perhaps I will see you all there!

Thank you again for all of the support. All the comments and encouragement.

Enjoy-

**********************************************************************

**Chapter 20: One Life**

"Lord Sesshoumaru, you weren't leaving without me, were you? Wa! Rin!! Where have you been? We've been looking everywhere for…"

"Jaken!" Sesshoumaru cut the toad off abruptly and he went still instantly, swallowing his dribble.

The kappi's eyes bugged out even further, straining to understand what they were beholding, and he gaped openly as Lord Sesshoumaru's electrifying gaze was turned fully upon…him.

The forest went still around them as Lord Sesshoumaru stared down at his loyal servant, and Rin's oldest living male "relative". Through the stillness, a summer breeze rustled the surrounding leaves.

And then Lord Sesshoumaru's voice pierced the silence, strong and deadly; a tone that brooked no refusal.

"Jaken, general of the Kappi armies, vassal to the Lord of the combined North and West, and, oldest adoptive male relation to the Lady Rin, I, Lord Sesshoumaru…" He pushed his breath outward slowly and deliberately, Jaken guessing in alarm that his lord was reigning in his temper.

"…request your Seal of Approval to take the Lady Rin as my life mate."

Jaken continued to gawk at Lord Sesshoumaru and blinked in shock several times before he regained what could only be referred to as his version of composure. Proudly, and with as much dignity as Jaken could ever hold himself, he purposefully cleared his throat…and then promptly threw himself into the dirt at Lord Sesshoumaru's feet.

"I, Jaken, humble vassal to Lord Sesshoumaru," he tried to sink further into the ground, "give my Seal of Approval." The kappi garbled, his face buried in the dirt.

Jaken trembled for a moment waiting for some response, some reaction, but when only silence met his approval he chanced a wary look up.

Lord Sesshoumaru nodded once and then turned to the obviously shocked Rin. But before he could perform the next part of the ritual by asking her for her acceptance of him her fury ripped from her.

"Absolutely not!!" She shouted.

Sesshoumaru's brow furrowed ever so slightly. "You will not have me as your mate." It was delivered as a sharp statement rather than a question.

"I came for answers." She said firmly as she got to her feet trying to gain some semblance of dignity while still wrapped in nothing more than a crimson sheet from Lord Sesshoumaru's bed.

"I already asked you my questions. Now I want to know…."

He cut off her demand with short, clipped answers. "I performed the sparring dance to determine if you were marked. I tried to mate you to Kazuo to get rid of you. And I kissed you because I was weak." He said stiffly.

Every monotone syllable cut into her, stinging her as though he were drawing a whip across her skin.

"And, that night…by the hot spring?" She demanded, unsure that she even really wanted to know what motive he had for making love to her that night.

"No. Now you will answer my question." He countered.

For a moment, Rin was ready to argue. There was still the question as to where his wife was and how he could make love to her when he was mated to another, but she knew it would do no good.

"I will not be part of some…some…" But before she could finish, his eyes flashed harsh and angry, and he was gone.

…harem!!" She finished shouting at the empty space before her.

Rin shot an exasperated glance at the appalled kappi.

"Rin!! What have you done?! You foolish, foolish child!"

"He is mated!!" She stamped a bare foot in anger.

"What nonsense are you babbling about?" Jaken squawked, and when Rin's angry gaze turned to confusion he sighed.

"You have been gone for a long time girl. Lord Sesshoumaru has no mate."

Rin's confusion only grew at this. "But he acknowledged his title. He is the combined lord of the North and West. How can he be so if he has broken the treaty agreement?"

"He did not break the agreement!" Jaken said exasperated. "There was a marriage, just as the treaty demanded. Lord Sesshoumaru would never break an agreement!!"

At her blank stare, Jaken gave an annoyed groan into the air. "Sit down girl and let me explain it to you." The kappi folded into a sitting position before her and growled up at her, pointing at the ground in front of him.

Rin couldn't even blink.

_He is not mated?_

Her heart hammered beneath her breast as she sank down onto the ground and she lost herself in the images that formed in her mind as she listened to Jaken's high pitched voice.

_The ceremony chamber of the Northern palace was filled with the guests from the neighboring tribes, clans, villages, and territories. They sat whispering amongst themselves as they looked around the chamber which was now awash with the warm glow of blazing torches that hung along the walls. _

_Tapestries hung along the walls between each fiery illumination, each rich with deep passionate reds, cheerfully bright yellows, earthy browns, and luminescent golds. They depicted various battle scenes, each with a fierce TaiYokai Tiger demon fully transformed into his or her giant feline form, green eyes blazing, claws flashing, and teeth barred. Each represented a generation of the great Northern Tiger Pride. _

_Behind the great dais of the Northern Lord hung an icy silver tapestry weaved with blues and greens the color of the sea, and browns and greens that held all of the mystery of the deepest forests. This tapestry showed two forms. In the background was a great silvery white TiaYokai Dog Demon in full gigantic form, eyes blazing red, teeth and claws dripping with poison. The figure that took the front of the tapestry was of Lord Sesshoumaru in his human-like form, moonlit hair cascading down his back to his knees, golden eyes blazing dangerously at the beholder. The still-life was garbed in full armor, his hands gripping the sword at his side tensely, ready to draw. The tapestry spoke of strength, protection, and of a truly powerful and deadly being; a glorious tribute to the future ruler._

_On the dais sat Lord Masahiro in full formal armor, his burnt orange hair loose and wild around him, his orange and black striped fur pelts wrapped around both shoulders. The elder's shoulders slumped slightly though he held his head high and proud making his weariness less obvious. _

_To the left stood the Lady Kasumi, her head held high with pride and her stance regal. She was dressed in layers of brilliantly colored robes, her outer most kimono an emerald green silk that brought the blaze of green in her eyes to life. Her hair too was free and flowed down her back to her rear in elegant waves of red fire. _

_To the right of Lord Masahiro stood an equally regal Lord Sesshoumaru, dressed in all his pale glory with his usual white formal robes and heavy spiked armor, the living, breathing version of the tapestry that hung behind them. _

_Behind, and to the right of Lord Sesshoumaru stood the Panther Demon leader, Lord Kazuo. He stood in complete contrast to the dark panther demons he represented, with his sleek white fur pelt around his waist, pale skin, and snowy white hair. His metallic breast plate was a steel glint that matched both Lord Masahiro's and Lord Sesshoumaru's in the firelight, his stance proud, and his hand resting on the hilt of a dagger at his side. His snowy hair was pulled back in a high ponytail at the top of his head, the hair falling down around him in intricate braids. The hint of a shine glittered where a thin headband of silver circled from around his head and came to a point in the middle of his forehead. Sky blue eyes looked out from a face marred by deep scars and yet all beheld him would agree that he was startlingly handsome._

_Lord Masahiro stood from his throne in a sweeping motion and raised his hand. The crowd grew quite instantly, their attention on the elderly ruler. He reached into his robes and pulled out a scroll and unrolling it, began to read the terms of the treaty between the North and the West in a deep booming voice._

"_I, Masahiro, TaiYokai, head of the Northern Tiger Demon Pride, Lord of the Northern territories, do hereby request a treaty between the lands of the North and the lands of the West and offer my daughter, the Lady Kasumi, in good faith, to be Life Mated to a member of the honorable Dog Demon pack of Inutashio, now pack of Sesshoumaru, TaiYokai, head of the Western Dog Demon pack, and Lord of the Western Territories." _

"_This union combined with ink to parchment will serve as a binding contract combining all of the lands and water rights of the North with those of the West. This treaty will serve as a formal declaration of peace between the two lands and will serve as a formal declaration of protection to all lands. Furthermore, upon completion of this treaty, rule of the new combined lands will be given over to the Lord of the West."_

_Lord Masahiro finished reading the contract and placed it on the small round table in front of them which held a large flashy feather quill and ink bottle. His eyes rose to the crowd as he lifted his hand out to his daughter. She took it and gracefully stepped up to stand in front of her father. _

"_We are here today to witness the completion of this historic treaty between the North and the West and upon completion…" He turned his head to the right and nodded once. Lord Sesshoumaru stepped forward to stand before the Lady Kasumi._

_Lord Masahiro continued. "The rule of the newly combined lands will be upon the shoulders of Lord Sesshoumaru, TaiYokai, head of the western Dog Demon pack, Lord of the Western lands, and eldest son of Lord Inutashio."_

_He paused for a moment before continuing again. "It is a nearly forgotten truth of the Mating Marks that the Seal of Approval is given for a purpose other than merely for showing approval of a match." He looked out over the crowd as he spoke of the age old ritual. "Once two have become Life Mates, nothing save death ends those marks. But, the first two marks may be dissolved so long as the third mark has not been given, and so long as the pair has given their consent. This is only possible with the power of the male who gave his Seal in the beginning of the rituals." _

_He held his hands above the pair before him and toned words of an ancient magic; words that were never meant to be spoken during a mating ritual such as this._

"_I, Lord Masahiro, revoke my Seal of Approval from this pairing who have both equally given consent. What is done, let be undone." Lord Sesshoumaru gathered his power as he had done the last two times he had given his marks and as Lord Masahiro's power rippled through the pair, he bent forward and placed a soft kiss on the forehead of the teary eyed Lady Kasumi. _

_The power swirled around the two and was gone with a blinding flash of white light. When Sesshoumaru opened his eyes his gaze met the clear confident emerald gaze of his friend, no trace of the hazy longing that had clouded them from the moment the first Mark had been given. She smiled up at him, her tears forgotten. _

_The crowd was in stunned silence. Not a whisper was heard throughout the chamber._

_Lord Masahiro nodded once more to Lord Sesshoumaru and the younger demon lord stepped away to place a hand on Lord Kazuo's shoulder before turning to take a stance before the crowd. Lord Kazuo moved to take the place where Sesshoumaru once stood before Lord Masahiro, facing a trembling Lady Kasumi. As soon as he took the Lady's hands in his and looked down into her eyes they both broke into radiant smiles._

"_I, Masahiro, Lord of the Northern lands, father of the Lady Kasumi, give my Seal of Approval for her match to Kazuo, acknowledged member of the honorable Dog Demon pack of the West, and leader of the Central Panther Demon tribe."_

_Kazuo leaned forward to chastely brush the lady's lips with his, but at the light contact, the panther demon's lips pressed more firmly and possessively to the lady's. They were suddenly molded together in a passionate embrace._

_Masahiro cleared his throat subtly and the two broke apart and stepped away from each other, their gazes lock on each other._

_Sesshoumaru stepped forward once more as Masahiro leaned forward picking up the quill and signed the parchment. He then handed the quill to Lord Sesshoumaru who did the same and then turned and handed the quill to Lord Kazuo who also signed the parchment, before handing it to the Lady Kasumi who was last to sign before replacing the quill in the ink bottle and then taking Lord Kazuo's hand, allowing him to lead her down the middle walkway that parted the crowd and out of the chamber._

_Lord Masahiro addressed the crowd once more in a joyous voice, raising his hand to Lord Sesshoumaru once more as he stepped back. "The treaty is signed, and the Branding and Binding will be completed as one this evening. Please join me in hailing the new leader of our now united lands, Lord Sesshoumaru!"_

"_Hail! Lord Sesshoumaru!" The crowd erupted into thunderous cheers and applauds._

Rin sat frozen, transfixed by the story Lord Jaken had just revealed to her. And then she raised her eyes slowly to her long time friend.

He quirked an eyebrow-less brow at her in an "I told you so" kind of gesture.

Before he could say anything more she was on her feet and running.

She ran as though she were carried on the wind, frightened now that she had lost her one and only chance.

The woods were a blur and she raced up the path towards the house, but she didn't see any of it. In her mind's eye, all she saw was the look in Lord Sesshoumaru's eyes just before he had disappeared.

The anger had been born out of hurt. She had rejected him.

Her feet carried her beyond the wooded path, down the slopes of the grassy hillside, past the house, and around onto the beach where she threw herself into the sand, gasping. The morning sunlight was bright and cheerful against the blue of the ocean waves that crashed against the white sand.

Her wildly searching eyes found him in a mere moment as she panted in the dirt.

He sat on a large boulder that overlooked the beautiful sea, but rather than looking up into the sky as he normally did, his head was bowed, his silver hair tucked behind pointed ears. He sat with one knee bent up close to his body, an arm draped over his knee. The other leg hanging off his rock perch and his other arm at his side, palm flat against the rock. He looked…_lost_.

"Sesshoumaru-sama!" Rin called out as she got to her feet again and began running towards him.

She did not have time to react when he suddenly leapt from his spot on the rocks and in a heartbeat's worth of time he had her on her back in the sand, pinned by the throat.

"Sessh…ou...maru…sama!" She rasped, gripping his forearms desperately trying to draw breath.

His eyes bled to red and he bared his fangs, growling at her, and she could feel the tips of sharp, poison claws against the life pulse at her throat.

It came to her naturally then, even as the memories flitted through her mind.

"I yield." She chocked.

Red turned to gold in a blink at her words and his grip loosened. But he did not let her up.

"I yield to you Sesshoumaru-sama." She said more clearly as she sucked in a breath.

"Ask me." She pleaded to him almost desperately. "Ask me!"

He let her up then, and turned away from her. He didn't ask her what she was pleading so desperately for.

"Where have you been?" He asked instead, his voice cold and emotionless as it always was. Under control once more.

She sat up slowly and rubbed her throat before looking up at his turned form once more.

_Will he turn me away now? I will do anything….to stay with you._ She thought silently as she watched him, her heart calling to him.

"I have been living in a human village these several months." She began, her voice trembling with the force of the energy still surging through her body from her sprint.

"I almost died in the days that followed my fleeing the Northern Palace."

Surprised, she saw him visibly stiffen at this and hurriedly continued.

"But a human Lord found me. Saved me. He brought me to his village and cared for me."

"At first, I hated every moment there. I was so miserable. But, I wanted…" she choked on the words. "I wanted you to be happy, but I couldn't stay and watch you marry another. I couldn't go back to you, and I had no where to go." Her voice became neutral as she continued.

"I came to accept the humans there, and eventually, I actually came to accept that I was one of them. That…I…belonged with them." Strange how this sounded so wrong to her.

_I know now that I belong with you_. She wanted to tell him she was sorry and that she would do anything to have him make the offer once more, but he was waiting for her to finish her explanation.

"I became the village healer, and I even made a few friends." She allowed a brief smile at the thought of Haru and the village lord. "Lord Takaeda even wanted me to marry him." She mused almost as an afterthought to thinking of him.

If possible, Lord Sesshoumaru became even more still at this. Even the salty sea breeze seemed to die away around him. She instantly regretted the familiar way she had said such a statement.

"But, I couldn't. Not without knowing…" Her voice trembled as her answer trailed off.

"Did he become your lover?" He asked so softly, she almost wasn't sure she heard him right. The question made her start.

"No M'lord." She whispered. She recalled the twinge of pain between her legs and realized something she hadn't before.

"M'lord, I believe that when you dragged Lord Kane back from the underworld with the healing sword, I was pulled back as well, breaking the Marks that tied me to him. But it also healed me."

"Healed _all_ of me, M'lord." She emphasized.

There was silence between them as she waited for some response from him. Hoping that he would not turn her away now.

_Not now._

_What if he doesn't believe me!_

"Last night, I truly believed I was dreaming." His deep tones sent a shiver through her and she closed her eyes, concentrating on the sound of it as he spoke. "I would not have taken your virginity so harshly." He stated calmly, still facing away from her.

She squeezed her eyes shut tighter, trying not to sob as she soaked in his voice. He had accepted her theory and had figured out what she had been trying to tell him. She had not taken any lover since she had left him and there had been the surest sign of her restored virginity in their passion the night before.

Silence hung between them, thick like a fog for several moments and Rin wanted to swipe at it. Claw at it until it was gone and she could breathe once more. But she was certain she would never breathe again if he did not say something, anything else, and when he finally did, she wanted to cry out in relief.

"That night in the woods, near the spring." He whispered, his voice seeming far off as he remembered. "I wanted you more than I have ever wanted anything in my existence, and yet I could not have you. I could not keep you. All I could have was…that…night."

He tilted his face to the sun then.

"A treaty was entered into decades ago and I was obligated to see it through, regardless of my regard for my human ward."

The lump that had formed thick in Rin's throat choked her as she tried to swallow tears that she knew would come.

"M'Lord…" she began, but she didn't know what to say. Her heart pounded against her ribs as she tried to make sense of this incredible situation. She wanted to tell him that she already knew. That Jaken had explained everything and that she had been so horribly wrong. That he did not have to say anything more. But she couldn't get the words out.

_He had wanted me. _Her heart clung to this admission as though nothing else could keep it beating.

"I do not have a mate…yet." Sesshoumaru stated softly, breaking the thick silence.

Rin's sharp gasp brought him around to face her for the first time since standing. He caught her startled hazel gaze as he began to move towards her, and she could feel the static charge in the air, the tell-tale sign of him gathering his demon power as he approached.

"And neither do you." He stated more firmly and she watched, transfixed, as his eyes transformed into hot molten gold.

She was vaguely aware that she had begun to tremble again. And then the words she so longed to hear came. Finally they came.

"Rin. Will you give this Sesshoumaru the honor of your hand in marriage? Will you consent to become my Life Mate?" He asked as he gracefully lowered to his knees before her.

She swallowed, captured by his golden eyes.

He grabbed her by the waist then and pulled her up firmly to his chest.

"You will answer this Sesshoumaru." He growled, his breath warm against the sensitive skin of her lips.

Only one word made any sense in the haze of her mind.

_Yes_

"Hai, Sesshoumaru-sama." She whispered just as his lips met hers and she melted into him, finally in his arms once more. The scent of sandalwood and pine enveloped her and she gasped at it, desperately drawing his scent in. Energy washed over them as though the waves of the sea were washing over them and as he kissed her she knew that it was the "Kiss".

The first mark.

They broke apart breathing heavily as they looked into each others eyes. Rin expected to feel differently, but all at once she knew that it wasn't possible for her to feel any more adoring and dedicated to him. She had always loved him; would always love him. She loved him with all of her soul and the mark of the Kiss was nothing but a formality for her.

At that moment, his eyes held so many things that she had longed to see in them for so long now. Trust. Understanding. Love…

In a mere blink of an eye, she was scooped up into his arms, and she felt the pull of his power for only a moment before they materialized in his rooms.

*****

Slowly, Sesshoumaru lowered her to her feet and pulled the sheet she had folded around her bare form. His heart beat heavily in his chest and he felt dizzy, shaken by how strongly he felt at that moment. He watched her shiver as his eyes raked over her in the morning light.

So beautiful. He mused, taking in every detail of her.

Kami, how I have missed this woman.

"Rin." He whispered her name softly, unable to contain it. It felt so right against his lips.

His hands went to his haori, and as he untied his robes her delicate hands went to the edges to push them off his broad shoulders. Her touch felt like the rush of ice against hot skin, wrenching a gasp from him and causing him to shudder in pleasure.

Slowly she dragged her hands down his muscular chest and over his stomach and he felt the ache within him beginning to grow.

_*****_

_By the gods he is beautiful! _Rin sighed to herself, running her hands up and down his flawless body and relishing the nearness of him. The sounds he made, the feel of his muscle moving under perfect pale skin, his masculine scent that was so distinctly him. All of him.

_I adore you._ Her mind gushed, but she couldn't form the words.

Her fingers found the ties of his pants and as his hands began a slow exploration of her own skin she pulled the ties loose to let the clothing drop to the floor.

The blood in her veins surged as she took in the sight of his nude form. He was exquisite, firm and rough, and yet so smooth and perfect. His maleness was thick and stiff, and she eagerly gripped him and was rewarded with a guttural moan.

She felt her own aching need growing and pulsing between her legs as she slowly pulled on him, enjoying the feel of the silken skin in contrast to the firmness of his impassioned manhood, and she found herself longing for the moment when he would be above her and inside of her, filling her to the brim.

*****

Sesshoumaru was near the edge in mere moments. His body reacted to her as though it had been starved for her, and he knew that such a comparison was quite close to the truth. No one else but Rin could bring him to such a state.

_No one but Rin._

And as she let out a soft moan his control wavered and he grabbed her.

Within seconds he had her down into the crimson pillows of his sleeping pad.

He could feel her trembling as he stretched out next to her; Sense her pulse humming through her body. He could smell her now too and his chest tightened at the recognition. Cherry blossoms and something utterly feminine; Something undeniably Rin.

And then there was the spice of her eagerness, thick like a heady perfume and it drove him further into his madness. He wanted her _now_. But first, he would explore her.

Leaning over the shivering young woman to continue smoothing his hand down the length of her body, he smirked in pleasure when her breath caught as his fingers brushed a sensitive nipple, and then moved across to the other. She arched her back as he touched her and moaned softly. Dark hair splayed across the pillows framing her beautiful features and he knew this would be forever one of his favorite ways to look upon her.

Slowly, with deliberate movements he took a tight pink bead between his lips and sucked it into his mouth. She shuddered and arched higher, her fingers lacing into his hair as he tasted her and then released the pert offering to tease the other.

She let out a groan that sounded mildly of loss when he released her, but the sound caught in her throat as he leaned down and kissed her.

*****

Rin sighed as his lips found hers. They were warm and soft, and his tongue sent rivulets of lightning through to her toes as he tasted her. She had thought that nothing could be as passionate as the night they had spent together so long ago, but where that cherished experience had been frightening and thrilling, stirring and yet so devastating all at once, she felt only heat, desire, joy, and eagerness with him now.

She slid her arms up and around his broad shoulders as he leaned into her, his hot skin warming her and her heart beginning to pound.

She felt sure fingers gliding over her firm stomach and moving lower, to her most sensitive region, and her breath caught when the fingers parted the swollen folds of her feminine petals and slipped over the bud that ached for so much more.

"Please." She whispered as he moved away from her lips and trailed kisses down her throat and continued to press his fingers deeper into her folds. She griped his shoulders as she trembled and arched her body against him.

"Please, Sesshoumaru." She begged again, more desperately this time.

He moved over her then, parting her slim legs and positioning himself between them. She felt the tip of him rubbing against her opening, and she did not care that there was an ache from the night before. She loved him with such a fierce passion. She longed to be one with him. Felt she would die if he did not take her now.

Groaning, she pressed her hips up towards his trying to take him into her, and he growled in return, pressing into her at last.

*****

Sesshoumaru burned for her. He felt himself smoldering from the inside out and knew that he would not last much longer.

He moved within her with sure strokes and she met him thrust for thrust, climbing towards the heavens. It took only a moment and she was crying out, his name upon her breathless lips. Instinctively he sank sharp fangs into the tender skin just above her heart as she shuddered beneath him.

Sesshoumaru's power swirled through them as they moved as one, the tangy taste of her blood coated his lips and his demon power surged as he climaxed, slipping to follow her over the edge of the precipice they had climbed as one.

They lay together for a long time, heartbeats calming and breath returning to calm. The scent of their lovemaking was strong in the air and Rin found that she rather liked the smell.

Her newly Branded skin glowed with perspiration and she thought the bite would be red and sore, but it had healed even as she writhed with her orgasm. She would bare his mark for the remainder of her days and she wanted to cry from joy at the thought of him claiming her out right.

And there was also the Binding.

She felt…different. Stronger. More alive than she had ever felt. She felt a tie to Lord Sesshoumaru like nothing she had ever felt. As though she could close her eyes and know where he was at any given moment.

As she drifted off to sleep, she knew she was his. Finally she was truly his. And he was hers. She would always be with him.

_Where I belong_.

*****

"Rin." She heard his call and pulled herself from her slumber, blinking up at him.

He was dressed and standing over her, staring at her.

"We are going." He said, and then turned, heading for the door.

Swiftly she ran to her rooms and as she pulled on her traveling clothes, she smiled. She felt alive again! She felt…home.

And it was time to patrol the borders.

*****

The sun was high in the sky as she followed her silent mate across the grass. Ah-Un lumbered along after them, and shortly after stepping onto the path in the woods, Jaken's shrill voice called after them.

"Lord Sesshoumaru! Lady Rin! Wait for meeeee!"

Rin grinned mischievously as she glanced around for the perfect stick to trip the kappi with when he came bursting through the trees like he always did.

_*****_

That night, as the small traveling party settled in by the campfire to sleep for the night, Cradled in Lord Sesshoumaru's embrace, Rin was just on the edge of restful oblivion when she heard him whispering to her. She had not caught all of the words as she drifted off to sleep, but she would ask him about it in the morning. Something about two souls linked and their lives being one.

Yes, that had been what he had said. That "now they shared a life."

…_One Life…_

*****

**Epilogue:**

Peace came slowly to the lands, at first those that would oppose Lord Sesshoumaru would stupidly stand up and challenge the Yokai Lord. Lord Sesshoumaru did not even bother to draw his sword with most of them. Poison claws dispatched his foes swiftly. And it was said that when you saw him smile, you were as good as dead. It was also said that Lady Rin, the demon lord's mate, was the most beautiful, the most kind, and the most loving creature and that if you showed her kindness, Lord Sesshoumaru would not kill you that day.

The Northern Palace burned down that summer. No one was lost, though many were injured. The buildings had collapsed into the dungeons burying them as the rubble burned.

And just as the tale of Sesshoumaru's smile was whispered on the wind, there was a new rumor spreading through the villages. A tale of a ghost that haunted the lands. The ghost of a burned figure, angry and searching. Sometimes this figure appeared in the shape of a tiger, and others, a flame haired demon. But always, the story was the same. The demon was searching for something, and waiting. Waiting for the perfect moment.

It was upon one of Rin's visits to the human village to see Lord Takaeda and his new bride, Lady Haru, that she had first heard the name of the phantom. Haru's sister had whispered it to her, scared to sleep one night.

"Master Kane is out there…" She had whispered.

*****

**~The End~**


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